I have a group of friends who have been very good to me; when I first came over to America from Australia I stayed with several of them and through them I met my girlfriend. We are all couples(my girlfriend and I are the only unmarried couple) and we fellows have all covered for each other when at various times we've cheated on our wives/girlfriends. Well, now I found out one friend's wife was herself cheating(I have a previous question about this), and, instead of keeping my big mouth shut, I met her at her home this afternoon & told her she needed to tell her husband or I would. She instantly turned on me and said that if I said anything she'd tell everyone that WE had been having an affair! She then said that with my reputation(admittedly the worst of the lot) no one would believe me innocent and that I would lose all my friends. She's got me there: no one would forgive me for crossing the line with a friend's wife, and my girlfriend wouldn't forgive me this time. I'm stuck.
2007-05-25 14:01:24 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She is a piece of work.
As long as you didn't diddle your pickle with her, your conscience is clear.
When you cheated, did the others go and tell your girlfriend? Did you go and tell the wives?
While I hate the whole idea of people who cheat on each other, it seems as if you are the one guilty of double standards.
Stay out of it.
2007-05-25 14:06:29 · answer #1 · answered by Beach Saint 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, man, you have entered a chess game. Do you want to play the game (therefore to win) or withdraw? Since nobody in your group is clean, morality doesn't come into play, does it? So what's left is the objective (most important) and the tactic to achieve that objective.
Objective: seems to me it is minimum damage to you. And the landscape is best to stay status quo -- see no evil, hear no evil. You only lose some by not following the men's code of telling your friend. But I think men of your group are to cover for each other, not necessarily telling the truth to each other, is it? The tactic then is to withdraw and status quo. But you may want to say a couple of noble things to the friend's wife so you don't lose so much face for backing down.
You may choose to reveal it to your friend and warn him of his wife's threat, and let the chips fall. This calls for some planning and moves. Can't cover it here.
Either way, your relationship with the friend's wife is under tension. Some day, she may have more over you than you have over her.
2007-05-25 21:28:37 · answer #2 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well there is the saying "you made your bed now lie in it"
Unfortunatly you did exactly if not worse what she did. You cheated and you just said that and the fact that all the "fellows" cover for eachother. So honestly it's really not for you to say to tell her to tell her hubby, unless you are prepared to tell your GF.
This is for her to say and for her to tell. But........my advice would be to take your own advice and come clean with your gf. There is nothing worse then cheating.
If you are not happy nor satisfied in the relationship then it's best for you to tell your gf straight and let her go. Stringing her along isn't the answer either.
But.....it wasn't fair for you to try and force her to come clean and then threaten to tell her hubby, why is what she doing any different then what you and your fellows did?
Bcause she's a women?
Let it go and if you need to tell someone tell you gf what you've been up to first.
2007-05-25 21:10:57 · answer #3 · answered by *Sbaby* 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hope that teaches you a lesson.How DARE your pass judgement on HER when you and her husband has done the SAME THING!You are a HYPOCRITE!EVERY ONE of you need to repent and get right with the LORD.You got what you deserve you get to see your friend getting what she has gotten from him while you all covered for each other.
2007-05-25 21:14:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dood ever heard of dont shot the messenger. Its not your place to run to your friend and tell him you believe his wife is cheating. He will hate you for it , she will hate you for it, mind your own business and hope no-ones tells your girlfriend what you ve been doing when she wasnt around.
2007-05-25 21:53:02 · answer #5 · answered by melissa t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell the truth!
She has nothing on you and even if she tell them what you did inform them of truth!
She's been having an affair and it needs to come out!
You put her on the defensive then it's going to be her not you who's got a lot of explaining to do!
2007-05-25 21:21:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
siunds like a double standard to me the men cheat and when the women do they must tell the men go start over and find someone to faithful to and find friends that are faithful also
2007-05-25 21:16:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who cares, it sounds like you don't really have good friends to begin with or you wouldn't be sleeping around. Get self help!!
2007-05-25 21:05:06 · answer #8 · answered by JLM 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well I guess what goes around comes around.
You guys cheated on your wives/gfs and now its their turn :D
2007-05-25 21:44:55 · answer #9 · answered by Samantha 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like kids stuff to me!! You all need to grow up and get yourselves a life!!
2007-05-25 22:03:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋