Is it ok to think your ex is a bad person?

Question

Is it bad to hate an ex if they put you through hell? I am just curious. When my ex and I were together, I remember him saying he didn't care what happened to her because she made a mess of his life. He cared for her, but from the way he talked about her, they weren't really in love. She had 2 kids and she neglected them. He cared for her kids and one time they had such a bad diaper rash they had to go to the doctor. She was a horrible mom. He just thinks she is a horrible person and they used to be friends back when they were kids so he thought she was better than that. I really don't think he ever loved her, but I think that she put him through hell. All they did was get drunk and she would never admit that she was cheating on him. He broke it off with her. They only dated for about 2 months. I know my ex. He is the love of my life and i am his too, we have known each other for 8 years. He holds grudges. This was 8 months ago, so he prob doesn't care to much now, but when we were tog

he would tell me that I didn't understand. They almost got arrested a few times because she tryed to get him in trouble.. She was vindictive and would try to kill herself. She was crazy he said.

please don't be rude. I want honest answers but I am pretty sensitive so don't be mean, please. Take in mind that my ex holds grudges and sometimes he doesn't forgive easily. She always caused drama and treated her kids and him like scum. he just thinks she is a bad person.

I think she almost tryed to kill him too!

P.S HE DID NOT BRING UP HIS EX EVER REALLY. I WOULD ASK HIM AND HE WOULD TELL ME STORIES. readdddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddDD

Answer 1

It is ok to think that youe ex is a bad person...that doesn't make you a bad person.

Answer 2

Hey Lisa,

You seem to have some BIG issues. I have read your post's. Don't you have something better to do? Do you have a job or go to school? Seem's to me like you have wayy too much time on your hand's so you post stupid chit no one cares about. He's your ex and she's his ex, get a life kiddo.

By the way, a baby getting a diaper rash that requires a visit to the doctor does not make a momma a bad momma. Did you know babies get yeast infections that are a rash?

Mary

PS-

To everyone else reading this, how about clicking on this posters ID & then on her questions and respond to her heartless post BUT first, scroll down and read my response before you post, I am the one she talks about in her post.

Answer 3

Sounds to me like the ex is a psychopath. The person closest is the one who suffers the greatest. Although his level of anger is more than justified it serves very little purpose in the scheme of life. The less this topic is broach the less the pain. I suggest you leave it alone. If your fella should ever bring it up calmly coach him to understand she lacks empathy and no level of anger will change that fact. The best thing he can ever do for his own sake is to detach. This means have no emotion in relation to this history. That is the only way to go.

Answer 4

He knew her when they were kids dated her 2 months and they BOTH drank.He married her knowing or not knowing these things about her which in both cases its just as much his fault.Him getting drunk didnt help matters for his kids either.Neither were perfect angels and he needs to take SOME responsibility in the decisions he made.If he didnt love her he would not have married her.Love can be killed easily.2 drunks in the same house wont get along too well for long.If she was THAT bad of a mother then why didnt he leave and take the kids:?He let it go on didnt he?That makes HIM as bad as her. As far as you being sensetive, Im glad your tender hearted BUT youre going to have to get over it and get some guts and back bone hon.Hiding your head in the doesnt help you or anyone else.Sometimes reality is a real pain but you have to be strong and face it.GOD can help us through anything.Im just saying she may have been bad, but he wasnt an angel.

Answer 5

He dated her for only 2 months and he`s not with her anymore (for 8 months) it`s time for him to get over it. Hating someone consumes a lot of energy. I can`t stand a man who talks bad about his ex even if he`s right, if he feels the need to bash her it`s because he`s not over the relationship.

Suzie Dear...it`s all in the past now. Don`t talk about it! He was not married to her, they don`t have kids together, I don`t understand why you or him talk about this.

Answer 6

Honestly if he is your Ex, and she is his Ex, I don't really see why it matters much to you. You need to stop obsessing over his life and his past and live your own life now. You can think anything you want as long as you move on. If I read it right you have been broken up for 8 months, it's time to let go.

Answer 7

why waste the time and effort
if he still thinks about his ex
then he has some growing up to do
and the ex still hold power over him
if he still complians and mutter about her
life is too short to deal with ex's and even think about them
much less dealing with them
it's very much like bullies
bullies are only bullies when people fear them and give in to them and pay them attention
they dra their power on the weakness of others
and hanging on to the past ( a negative one ) IS a weakness

Answer 8

If we hate our other half past we hate ourself-learn to forgive and move on with our life if they were unfaithful and you were not unfaithful too.

from what you seem to say it seems you feel your new find is a good person who doesnt care what happens to his ex because of what she put him through. that is sad-a person with a heart will still desire the best for another person. The issue is with your great find's ex before you. You say he is still the love of your life even though he holds grudges and that you are the love of his life too. Even now you keep the issue going after 8 months asking him for more details and even bringing the poor guys story here-sounds like a bit of sad humor=it is the glue for your bed to hold a soul tie apart from Jesus together..

well from what I can see -you only got his side of the story about his ex- they got drunk together-did she hold a gun to his head to make him get drunk? Did he never change a diaper so see the baby had a rash? And why would he marry someone that you say he never loved? Sounds like your claim of his love for you is another Red light that he will marry you, because he marries the one he doesnt love?

you have made him out to be the ultimate prize.

well till people are changed by Jesus -they dont change-so he will have his stories about you he will be telling, Like after 8 months she wouldnt keep listening to me complain about how my x wife was so terrible-why would I ever want to marry a woman like her.
but keep living in your bubble world-about a guy that is so perfect-

what changed me to live in reality-was=Jesus

I am praying for you, In Jesus amazing grace that saved me and keeps me free heart and soul, since I repented of my sins-even one lie, and let Him into my heart to be my best friend. amen--as he promised =

REVELATION 3:19&20 I love you unconditionally, and ask you to repent quickly of your sins, Behold I stand at your heart's door and knock, if you pray and ask me in, I will come in and be your friend and you mine.

Now you seem to be living the life he told you about-from his words and he will have new tales for sympathy from whoever is next in line-
it is ok to forgive your ex-yet remember in true light to change on your part-we cant change others but we can change ourselves.

thanks good question, David

Answer 9

Yeah! I hate my ex for over 25 years.

Answer 10

It is OK to think your ex is a bad person. Mine was. I don't dwell on it but I know now that I made a bad decision in being with him.