My husband is usually running late after work. I will call him to find out whether to hold dinner or not. Lately, when I call he doesn't answer his phone. If I call 20 minutes later, he will answer but seem very distracted and out of breathe. Then he will tell me he will be late. This has happened nine times out of ten. I think maybe I am paranoid but there is this little voice that tells me to look into it. What do you think?
2007-05-25 13:16:29 · 24 answers · asked by 4532 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Go with your gut feeling.
2007-05-25 13:19:21 · answer #1 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you honestly.... honestly suspect something is amiss here... something along the lines of deceit and possibly involving another woman. The very best defense is and will be a good offense.
In other words.. is there any way you can discreetly find out ON YOUR OWN? If this is occurring away from his work... does his vehicle have a tracking device that you can take advantage of in determining his location? Depending on what he does for a career/job, could this be involving a co-worker...and quite possibly taking place at work?
Do you have the ability to clear your schedule and follow him from work? This would involve your using an unrecognizable vehicle and a disguise on your part so that you are not discovered. Don't put yourself in jeopardy doing this. Think it all through and you may discover a logical plan to conduct this surveillance.
Depending upon your family situations you may have logistics concerns in having to get off work if you work that same time ... babysitters if you are a stay-at-home Mom, etc... and if the times you are reaching him are on certain days and not others establishing a pattern.... you can pinpoint the days and times to concentrate your surveillance.
Keep this to yourself until you are certain however. No need to involve other family and friends and then discover your fears were unfounded.
You already have said that nine out of ten times he has answered the phone in the same way. And... the way he answers has you wondering what is happening on the other end of the phone. Your suspicions are probably well-founded... unless...unless he is exercising...I mean really exercising as in "at a gym" and he simply could not get to the phone on time. No?
Well....as you can see. Your, and our minds can run amuck with all sorts of thoughts and suspicions when we do not actually know what is occurring.
Whatever you choose as your course of action.... please think it through first. As per the laws of physics... any action has an equal and opposite reaction. Don't accuse him of being unfaithful unless you have the proof..and you may be able to get that "Proof" on your own if he is being unfaithful.
2007-05-26 05:19:32 · answer #2 · answered by BrChDa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I get paranoid the same as you also. But I'm not sure, maybe you should try and call his work place to see if he really is there. Or one day, stop by and see what he is up to. You should ask him why he is late all the time. I don't know where my love life is going because of the same reason. He'll go into work at 7 or 8 in the morning and never leave work until 8 or 9 at night....at least what he says. Look into it and see what his reasons are for staying late.
2007-05-25 20:31:45 · answer #3 · answered by girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not calling to see if you should hold dinner; you're calling to keep tabs on him. When he hasn't gotten home at the normal time, you already know he's going to be late; so stop using that excuse. Perhaps he's not near the phone when you call. Or, perhaps he knows you're paranoid and purposely doesn't answer the phone. It would be just as easy for him to call you and tell you when he's running late. But, then again, he may figure that you should already know that.
If you want to know if something's going on, open your mouth and ask the man. Otherwise, stop playing kid games.
2007-05-25 20:32:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's out of breath from running around the school track,or maybe he's out of breath from some wild @ss monkey sex with his girlfriend. What do you think? Stay with the gut feeling dear. You're more than likely right on this. Hang in there.
2007-05-25 21:01:45 · answer #5 · answered by seahorse 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does he teach in a gym? He probably just did some heavy lifting and running around the gym. Some people stay after at work to do exercises so they don't have to bring work home to the family.
2007-05-25 20:53:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you asked him why he is out of breath and not answering the first time? I would get some answers out of him, but ask him in person and watch for the signs that he is lying. If he shows the signs that he is lying, do some more checking and then confront him.
2007-05-25 20:23:42 · answer #7 · answered by Dance 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may have been on the toilet 20 minutes earlier and when the phone rang a second time he had to run to catch it?
2007-05-25 20:26:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
look into it,take a camera that has a zoom ,and click away ,take many shots some don't come out ,then ask him whats up ? but don't show him the pictures .call cheaters and do the show ,how bad is that for getting even,make him a dog poop meat loaf lunch,how bad u wanna get ...but it just could be he is working hard ,take him a really nice lunch ,just to be sure...don't forget that camera.
2007-05-25 20:29:45 · answer #9 · answered by Hana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your intincts are probably correct. Try asking him first if he gives you some BS answer, then hire a PI and find out wats going on. Be careful though you may not like what you find.
2007-05-25 20:41:00 · answer #10 · answered by Shemp 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with your gut....... Show up at his office at the time you would be calling him to find out about dinner. See if he is really where he says he is.
2007-05-25 21:07:39 · answer #11 · answered by JLM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋