I had a friend at university last year, we were fairly close and used to go out alot, in my final year i found the workload, but i still always made time for her, phoning her and even going on nights out and shopping when i should have been doing my work. Then i moved home and didnt live as near my friend anyomore, and i found that over the past year i was the one always phoning her, and asking when i could visit, after some time i gave up because she kept saying she was busy with work. One of my parents unexpectedly passed away last christmas, and i obviously told all of my mates, loads of my mates were so supportive and they came to see me, and regulary kept in touch, but she didnt. Recently she has started texting and phoning me, asking to meet up, but i have been ignoring her i feel like shes getting in touch now its convinient for her, because shes finnished uni, but then i feel sad cos we did have fun. what wud u do forget about her or meet up with her and be friends?
2007-05-25 13:01:10 · 13 answers · asked by ANNIER 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I have been very busy at certain times in my life. However I have always made time when one of my friends had a problem.
She is calling you because it is convenient to HER now. You could meet her and see if she says anything about not contacting you but be very careful about expecting anything from her again.
2007-05-25 13:26:44 · answer #1 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tricky one.
Go with your gut feeling. If you miss her and want to renew your friendship then go for it. Just depends on how YOU feel and what YOU want. No one can tell you because there is no right or wrong answer.
However, perhaps you could tell her how hurt you were/are that she wasn't there for you when you lost your parent and see what she says.
Unfortunatley, until people have been in this situation themselves they don't always realise how important it is to have the support of your friends at a time like that. Another thing to bear in mind is that some people just don't know what to say at a time like that, and rather than feel awkward, shy away from getting in touch - sad, but true.
I lost a parent a few years ago, and a lot of my friends never contacted me. My phone never rang. By contrast, someone who i never saw much of, was a great support and this person it turns out had been through the same thing a few years before.
I also recieved a christmas card from my best friend the christmas after my parent had died, she wrote, "have the best christmas ever". That upset me. But now i can see that she just didn't realise.
Good luck.xx
2007-05-25 13:15:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear about your loss. You are very young to have lost a parent. Your friend sounds like a nice enough person, but she doesn't get the subtleties of friendship. Like--you need to take care of each other in tough times. She can be a great pal to hang out w/ and laugh w/, but will most likely not be there for a crisis. And that's OK. We cultivate all types of friendship throughout life and maybe someday, when she grows up, you will have a life-long friend in your old age.
2007-05-25 13:06:58 · answer #3 · answered by Cloee Quips 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could meet up with her, but I wouldn't suggest becoming close friends with her again. She will most likely act like she did in the past. Keep her as a casual friend to see when YOU aren't busy. Put other people in front of her, but kind of use her (like she did to you) when you have nothing else going on. But, don't fall back in the same trap as you did before. She's going to use you if you become too convienent again.
2007-05-25 13:04:58 · answer #4 · answered by danielle b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Annier,
You are not out of order at all.
Your friend may genuinely like you, but views some of her relationships as fun acquaintances, rather than than on the deeper level you maybe expected. She probably won't change.
She may still be fun to go out with; just make it on your terms.
Don't feel guilty.
2007-05-25 13:18:12 · answer #5 · answered by bobcat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be so stubborn. These things happen and if you had fun then dont hesitate in being friends again.
Maybe she is feeling guilty now about the friendship lapse and is wanting to make amends.
Go and meet her.
2007-05-25 13:06:30 · answer #6 · answered by Ylang-Ylang 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you should meet up and ask her why she didn,t give you any support when you needed it most,explain how much it hurt you for her to behave the way she did,she might have a genuine reason for doing what she does,don,t rush to make a judgement or decision on your friendship just see how you feel when you meet up,go with your gut reaction and do what is right for you,good luck.
2007-05-25 21:21:13 · answer #7 · answered by alison h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are totally not out of order, just ask her why she did that all and stuff and talk bout it maybe ,i know how you feel but at the end of the day its not worth losing a friendship...just go back to her and enjoy being friends!
2007-05-26 00:59:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, That is a tough one !Follow your heart. Will she or you new friends be there for you in the future !
2007-05-25 13:08:45 · answer #9 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should meet up with her and be friends.
2007-05-25 13:15:22 · answer #10 · answered by *nErVoUs lAuGh* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋