Ok....hes only 13 and is guided by his mother who he lives with.
But how can my boyfriend develop a relationship with his son when his mother only agrees to contact if there is some financial or material gain in it for the son, which obviously the son has now caught on to.
2007-05-25 10:49:19 · 13 answers · asked by hollyb20 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The question is Billie in case you missed it.......
But how can my boyfriend develop a relationship with his son when his mother only agrees to contact if there is some financial or material gain in it for the son, which obviously the son has now caught on to?
2007-05-25 11:05:05 · update #1
I know what you mean. Not the cash so much but the worry that this is going to be how the child is for ever more. The only 13 does not come into it, it's a habit that could harm the child when it becomes a full adult. Which for all intent and purpose he now is. These waters need to be trod very carefully. Show the boy what money means and how it is earned. Teaching him the value and role of money in life will do him the world of good and maybe he will learn for himself the error of his ways. A slow process, but hitting it head on will only make things worse
2007-05-25 11:03:43 · answer #1 · answered by thecharleslloyd 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think your boyfriend should sit down with his son and explain to him that although he loves him and he's his dad, there are some things he won't be able to do...like give him money all the time or luxuries he cannot afford.
A parent has duties towards his children; so of course you expect your boyfriend to pay for his kid's school and clothes and such. The problem would be if the kid doesn't love his dad and is just using him....which is a big issue. If his mother is manipulating the child, she is harming him and she is acting badly. Unfortunately, this is very common: adults who hate each other after a divorce end up messing up the kids.
Perhaps your boyfriend could go and talk to a therapist so he can get better ideas from a professional. Good luck.
2007-05-25 11:24:25 · answer #2 · answered by Nena S 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This sounds normal,your boyfriend should sort it with his ex,you can't and shouldn't.The way your question is worded is very much in the i feel like an outsider and am insecure.You should be supporting your boyfriend and he must support his son.Bank of Dad is always open and Sons are usually not as bad on the emptying of the account as Daughters.Your problem is with his ex the boys mother,but you have no control,please do not get in middle of father and son unless you want out of your relationship.
2007-05-25 11:03:37 · answer #3 · answered by SIMON H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is an issue for your boyfriend, his ex and his son. As a parent he has to set the bounderies and if the mother is not willing to facilitate the access without financial gain your boyfriend will need to go to court.
From my experience it is not always possible to work informal relationships and they need mediation by an independent party.
Unfortunately that can not be you.
2007-05-25 10:56:11 · answer #4 · answered by RosieGrow 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only real option is for your boyfriend to confront the mother and tell her hes there for more than financial reasons. Hopefully she'll realise and let the son know too.
2007-05-25 10:56:25 · answer #5 · answered by thatsnotevenaquestion 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe have the son earn the money? agree to give him a few bucks, but first he has to clean the back yard, or do dishes, or something. Maybe if the son puts up a fuss, which he probably will, your boyfriend could do those things with him. That would give them a chance to bond, and really have a nice talk. but at the same time, he'd be working for his money. it'd be killing two birds with one stone
2007-05-25 10:55:14 · answer #6 · answered by :-D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Where is the visitation/joint custody order? That is why family courts come into play when separation or dissolution of marriage occurs and children are involved specifically for this reason. Even if they were'nt married and he is a fit father, he has rights. Get a lawyer.
2007-05-25 10:59:59 · answer #7 · answered by zail 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He should ask his son if he loves him because he is giving him money or because he is his father,and he should only give him pocket money, the mother sounds like a real b**ch, if he is playing child support then the money that his father is giving him should be as a treat and not for his company......
2007-05-27 09:59:41 · answer #8 · answered by Granny 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your b/f needs to set the ex and his son straight and tell them how it's going to be and inform that ex if she wants to play this, he will see her in court for tampering with his visitation rights.
2007-05-25 11:34:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well I would tell him that if he wants some'Pocket money' then he would have to earn it by doing some chores or something like that.
He may realise then that money don't just grow on trees as the saying was.
2007-05-25 10:55:21 · answer #10 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋