My daughter-in-law wants to know how to tell if a guy is really?

Question

interested in pursuing a relationship. He is a guy; I'm sure he is interested in sex, but she needs much more than that to get involved with someone.

Some background. He is 35 years old, recently split, 2 year old son that he is very involved with. She is 29 years old, a widow, has a 7 year old daughter, and she is a wonderful mother.

She has been seeing him for a short period of time. He is willing to do kid involved activities, he always answers the phone when she calls, he seems like a decent guy to her, he kept tissue in his pocket for his son (this one really impressed her). I have not met him; I'm thinking there might be a reason for that like I will give him the third degree or something.

What do you think? How can she tell? When will she know?

Arthur, you are wrong, and the question was how to tell if a guy is really interested. Not your gut reaction to a few typed sentences and your take on the grassy knoll.

Answer 1

Tell her to just ask him what his intentions are. Tell her to let him know that she needs to know this in order to continue to pursue the relationship. Some guys come across very aloof even when they have deeper intentions. They have a hard time showing their emotions. Tell her not to sweat it, everything happens for a reason. If it wasn't meant to be then it is better to let it go. Tell her I said Hi!

Answer 2

Tell her not to move too fast though - a recently split person may need to get back with his spouse and it would be heart wrenching for her to get involved with him, learn to love him and his son, and then have him leave her. He sounds like a decent enough guy, but it is never okay to start dating someone whose not divorced yet...is he divorced yet?

She should take it slow for now and just keep him as a friend. If down the line, it is obvious he is compeltely and totally done with his wife, perhaps consider it, but remember too that his little boy has to be ready to be involved with a new woman too! Your 7 year old granddaughter has had time to adjust to the absense of her father....this 2 year old boy has not had time to digest that his parents are no longer together and he may have some serious problems to deal with over the next while. Maybe it would in the child's best interest to wait and see how it goes between her and the man before dragging the kids into it.

I hope that helps. If it is meant to be, he will make his intentions clear. Like I'm sure your daughter-in-law knows, getting involved with someone when you have children, you do not just get involved with the person. She'll have to do what's right for his son too! Good luck to both of you.

Answer 3

I noticed some important key words,,recently split,,,, and short period of time,,,,,give them time to grow together, or drift apart.. Each needs some time to heal, and get the head back on straight. I think it is commendable, and speaks much, that a man has tisue with him, for his two year old,, and even has the boy at all,,because so many men are selfish like that. I would not be interfering,,other than say I am here for you, and think time will tell, if you two will speak honestly, and opennly, and anything is possible, and that you wish her happiness, no matter what. Her sex life is realy none of your business. I have a daughter,,32,divorcing,, and I sure wold not want to shove my ideas into her,, just let her live her life, her way, and know I am there for her, always.

Answer 4

To both of you this guys seems to good to be true and both want to find some deep blackhole in side of him where hes hiding all his bad-man habits. In other words both of you are trying to find fault with him and just cant simply accept him for what he is; a decent down to earth guy. Perhaps, way too much TV where nothing is as it appears and wheresuch realistic people just dont exist. Theres always faults in everybody and if you dig deepenough youll find them and later regret it, but theres animmediate one on the surface, why did he split up; his fault or hers? Tellyour daughter in law to just let Nature takes its natural course here and whatever happens happens. Remember too that this guy is only seperated from his wife which means that at any minute he could go back to her and leave you with nothing but a broken heart, so much of his time now willbe spoent probably thinking of how to patch things up more than actually starting a totally new full-time relationship. Good luck

Answer 5

I think that he sounds like a great guy, it's hard to find someone who can accept children from a previous marriage/relationship and be good to them. Sounds just like what she needs it'll be good for her and her daughter. Only time and certain situations will tell whether or not he's sincere.
She's old enough that if he just wants sex that she can simply end the relationship. Usually if a guy is just wanting sex he would get upset if he wasn't getting it, and he wouldn't come around like that unless that's all he wanted.

Answer 6

First off I would advise her to take it slow since children are involved. It wont just be about who she wants its going to also be about what kind of father will he make. There are sites online that tell you signs to look for in abusive men. I suggest she look at those and keep them in mind if and when he pursues her.
Also its good to know who his family and friends are and how they react to him and how they see him. They also know what kind of man he is and his past.
Over time its harder to maintain that Im the perfect guy facade if it is fake. How he acts when hes mad or arguing will break any facade down.
I would also withhold sex til after marriage because the plain facts about us men are is if we are gonna get it without the commitment then we have no motivation to marry. Were already getting what we want.
By the way your daughter in law is lucky to have you.

Answer 7

I think just by virtue of the fact that he wants to and does, spend time with her and her daughter, indicates that he is interested in her.

I don't think its just a get together for the kids because a 2yr old boy and 7yr old girl have nothing in common.

Answer 8

If he makes time for her then he is interested. Unless the guy is an idiot no one can tell if he just wants sex or not.

Answer 9

I think if she wants to know she already does she's just not telling you!!

Time will tell, don't push her off on this guy, sounds like he is on the up and up, But that is why you are playing Dad. Keep it up. But don't get pushy.
You'll get to meet him soon enough....

Answer 10

If he is making time for her, then he is interested.