nice guy blues? dilemna? issues?

Question

I am 29, just finished my residency and am now an attending physician. I have always been a "nice guy". I am attractive and I work out several times a week. i am single, with no children. Here is my issue-when i was younger I never got a girl to really date me because of the nice guy persona that defines me. Girls always skipped me for the partying bad boy. I was alone. Now i have several women who ask me out. Most all have children and the bad boy guy they were with either left, are in jail, or the women got sick of them and ditched them. I refuse to get involved with anyone with children who is single due to the former reasons. Why should I put my time and resources into raising another mans child? I am just promoting that guys reproductive success while taking away from mine. Most of these women want me to raise there children but say " I dont want anymore kids" for whatever reason.

what would you do in my shoes?
ive started 2 look in2 phillipine brides
what did i do wrong?

Answer 1

There are a lot of women your age (same as mine) who do not have kids. You just have to widen your search. Use the Internet to help if you must. A lot of women also do not get caught up in the whole bad boy thing. You just need to be exposed to more women. You don't want a woman that was ever interested in the bad boys as these women are always mentally unstable and low grade. They never fully grow out of that stupidity and they will burn a nice guy like you later.

Another thing: there is a difference between a nice guy and a sap. Make sure that you are not syrupy sweet nice or even the nice girls will be turned off. A man has to be a little sarcastic and witty; that is his role. It's not too late for you to change your personality.

As for meeting single women with no kids... You are a professional like myself. There are many professional women in their late 20s and early 30s that have no kids. Get fixed up by other doctors, or get involved in young physician associations.

Answer 2

Don't get a Filipino bride - that's just creepy. Sorry, but it's true. My advice is to stop worrying so much about it, and maybe stop trying so hard. All the girls want the bad boy . . . for a while. I did, but I married the classic "nice guy". Hold out for a good one - YOU are the prize! I don't quite understand the whole kids thing - do you not want kids at all or do you just not want another man's kid? If it is the latter, that is a little close-minded. Not the kid's fault, so why should you close yourself off from that? There is a difference between a sperm donor and a dad, remember! But, if that's your choice, then fine - you still don't have to resort to a mail-order bride! Just give it some time - 29 is still young! My husband says that either he tried too hard with women or didn't try at all because he was scared of rejection, but everything eventually clicked in to place. Good luck!

Answer 3

OK, first of all I have to question the "nice guy" tag you attach to yourself when you speak of their children. Having a child shouldn't make any woman less desirable to you. Look instead to the way she treats the child, a good mother is likely to make a good mate. As far as her not wanting more children, that is a legitimate issue, maybe she doesn't want more children because of her experience with past dirt bags. In any respect, this is something you need to address before getting seriously involved. Stepping up to the plate and helping the woman you love raise another man's biological child is an admirable action and in no way affects his actions. If he wants to be in the child's life, he will. If not, he won't. What you do has no bearing on that situation. If you pass up the perfect woman for you only because she is a mother, you've made the biggest mistake of your life and may not get a second chance.

Answer 4

First of all, girls do like nice guys. At 29 you should be seeing more of that now. When I was in my late teens and early 20's I liked the bad boys, then I grew up. I dont know what ages these women you are dating are, but I would look for someone around your same age. Maybe its the places you are meeting them that is the problem. I would look at some of your closet friends and see if they have anyone they could set you up with. Do you have a myspace account? If not get one and reconnect with old friends from school. Phillipine brides? come on, dont go that route.

Answer 5

I've heard some bad stories about phillipino brides - don't go there. There are so many single "nice" girls you may be looking in the wrong place or not advertising yourself properly. Find a "nice" happily married female and ask her to help you with your approach. Don't over sell the Nice bit.
Girls like men who have a rye sense of humour and come across as strong. Sometimes girls get their wires crossed and end up with bad boys who know how to manipulate to get what they want. Women don't like cheapskates either.
If you are a nice man you will find the right woman. Don't stress out you are only 29. I don't blame you for not wanting to raise another's child. Keep trying you'll be fine

Answer 6

Just be patient - there are some 20's something females out there with no children for you - they may be hard to find but they are there. Have other doctors introduce you to some, there are also some on-line dating sites. Once you're on one of these sites; you can format your profile to weed the ones with kids out.
Don't worry - you did NOTHING wrong! It was the young girls, when you were younger, who did the wrong things.
You're very young and still have time on your side - just keep your eyes open for possibilites - perhaps a female doctor with no children yet...................

Answer 7

As a 26 year old "Nice guy" I am wondering the same thing, anyway, solidarity brother, nice guys should finish first.

Answer 8

Omg, stop posting the question!

See, it's like I said. You can't let things go.

Be a man!