I want to get my husbands attention. He seems to want to hang out with his friends all the time. I would hang with them but he doesn't feel comfortable with me being around his friends. I was told by a few girlfriends to pretend like someone was interested in me and that I was interested in someone else. I was told that this would work. I am not one for playing games, but this seems like a good way of getting his attention. If you one could please HELP!!!
Thanks in advance.
2007-05-25 09:45:42 · 24 answers · asked by De_Light 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It does work, but playing games never comes out right..trust me
2007-05-25 09:49:21 · answer #1 · answered by ERICKSMAMA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bad idea. You use a fake person to get his attention through jealousy, and one of a few things will happen.
.
1. He won't be jealous. He'll be glad that you have found someone to hang out with.
2. He will be angry when he finds out there is not really anyone there. He'll feel played like a fool and it'll tear you further apart.
3. He'll withdrawal. He'll go out with his friends more and you'll break up because he believes that you've moved on.
THIS WILL BACKFIRE!!! Instead of playing games, be honest with him. There is nothing wrong to him coming home to his wife in nothing but a scanty nightgown and fish-net stockings. Maybe a bottle of wine and some fancy dinner on the table for him. Rose petals littering the bed. You will get more POSITIVE attention this way than by trying to make him jealous.
Another thing you can do is simply tell him you miss him. Tell him you wish he would set aside time for you and him. Let him know that you want to be a part of his life and while you don't mind that he hangs out with his friends, it would be really great if he could find time for you too! Don't sound angry....just try to tell him how you feel. If you try to tell him he can't hang with his friends anymore, he's going to fight you on it. Don't take his friends away...but if you and he have a night that he KNOWS is your night, maybe you'll get the time you deserve as well. Maybe even 2- 3 nights a week.
Good luck.
2007-05-25 10:02:34 · answer #2 · answered by Shannon H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you've found here is a short term answer for a long term problem. Sure, acting as though someone is interested will fix the two of you for the moment. But unless you are prepared to play this cat and mouse game for the rest of your marriage, this isn't the answer. you need to have a sit down with this man and let him know how you feel. This is a marriage. You two are adults. Let's act like it! If your marriage is important to you and your husband then the both of you will do what is needed. Games are never the answer. Remember games always have a winner and a loser! A marriage shouldn't!
2007-05-25 09:55:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Playing games will only backfire and you don't want that in your marriage. Your girlfriends are wrong about that and shouldn't be done by either one of you. Now, your husband needs to grow up and realize he is married and has a wife. If he wants to spend some time with friends fine, but also he needs to make sure your happy. Make a date with him and see how that turns out. If he doesn't want to do that then talk to him and tell him your not happy with the way it is now. You have to be aggressive enough to get his attention that way.
2007-05-25 13:17:56 · answer #4 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should sit him down. There is a reason why he isn't comfortable having you with him around his friends. I would want to find out what that is. May not be good. If you play the jealousy game it could back fire. May drive him away forever. You two need to talk about this. If this doesn't work then your marriage isn't a marriage and you need to move on. Good luck girl.
2007-05-25 09:54:22 · answer #5 · answered by Krissy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
De,
I have a few married male friends. A couple of them have gone through the 'jealousy' bit - in both cases they didn't receive it too well and made that fact known. In both cases the wife explained why she started with the 'game' - this made it worse. The husbands were irate that the wife tricked them instead of talking face-to-face about the problem. Based on this little, little experience of mine, I would advise against the game and for the personal conversation. Good luck!
2007-05-25 09:52:29 · answer #6 · answered by Pete W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I wouldn't do that. It couldreally damage your relationship.
Instead, what is good for the goose is good for the gander. Don't sit at home. Make plans with your friends. Go out to the movies, go to restaurants, wherever you like. Talk often about all of the fun that you have and ask his schedule so that you can be gone when he is and let him know that you are having so much fun out with your friends. Don't even question what he does.....just keep talking about all the fun that you are having. It will drive him nuts and he will want to stay home more often because he will be wondering what you are doing.
Next time he says he is going out with his friends say, "Oh, great, I am going out with the girls. Glad you will have something to do while I am gone." Don't answer cell phone if he calls..........be unavailable.
2007-05-25 11:16:19 · answer #7 · answered by heartwhisperer2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got his attention-you're his wife. How much more did you need? He needs guy time to remain sane in the membrane. You take this from him or start playing games---he'll go plain nuts on you and then you'll blame it all on him even though you know that you started the game.
communication is the key to a good marriage and getting exactly what you want without the game playing.
2007-05-25 09:54:02 · answer #8 · answered by Virgo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should never play games! But if you want to ignore him while he is around his friend. Like if he asks you a question answer him! But if he talking to his friend kind of talk to one of his other friend and laugh with him. Never flirt with his friends or touch him but be extra nice to let you husband know that he is missing you. Do not bug him want ever you do. You don't want to miss lead the friend or your husband! You don't want your husband thinking that you are cheating. Or you can just talk to him about him not showing you attention. Let him know that you are feeling little left out. Just let him know that you are feeling this way but be very sincere about it!
2007-05-25 10:43:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Or, to quote a ditty I got in my e-mail:
Marriage (Part I )
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady, and
after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time
I want -- and I don't expect any hassle from you.
I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless
I tell you that I won't be home for dinner.
I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing
when I want with my old buddies, and don't you
give me a hard time about it.
Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said:
"No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex
here at seven o'clock every night...whether you're here or not."
(DARN SHE'S GOOD!) "
2007-05-25 10:38:38 · answer #10 · answered by Puresnow 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't try to make him jealous you are treading in dangerous waters when you start acting like you are into other guys and you are married...that's highschool stuff.
he's already jealous anyway...I don't even have to know him to know that.
You must be early in your relationship. If you have your own friends, give yourself 1 night a week with them.
Ask your husband what he wants for dinner that night, if you can't cook, get a cookbook. If he says he's hanging out with friends then, let him know you want to make dinner for him or you want to hang out on the couch and watch a movie. You won't sway him if it's league night or a major sports game but otherwise he should respond well.
I hate to say it but sex is a good lure too.
2007-05-25 09:55:14 · answer #11 · answered by Barbie K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋