Doesn't it disgust you?

Question

I know a couple that used to be engaged, but she got pregnant and he cheated and they broke up. She has custody of their daughter.

She works 2 jobs, drives a piece of junk car, lives in government subsidized housing, and I give her daughter my daughter's hand-me-downs so she has something to wear. They get food stamps and medicaid and the woman works HARD and LONG HOURS to do what she does.

Meanwhile, the "daddy" has not bothered to visit his daughter in over a year, has paid a whopping total of 32 dollars in the sixteen months his child has been alive, and just last week bought a brand new pick up truck that he put in his dad's name so Child Support Enforcement can't put a lein on it.

And this stuff happens ALL THE TIME. And it's not always the Dad that's the deadbeat, either.

You're big enough to lay down, be big enough to buy diapers.

When the government is having to support babies because their fathers won't, it's EVERYBODY'S business.

Answer 1

Yes, it does disgust me. I agree with ya 100%!

Answer 2

I've seen this happen a lot to; good women and bad. It is always disgusting and never positive until the child finds a way to rise above it. Sometimes its the other way around.
What is sad though, is how the average person looks at that woman if she is of another race than them. I've met all kinds and the story is the same but you would truly be disgusted to hear the responses people make depending on what ethnicity that person is. It makes me sick.
Words like whore are often used when it is a minority woman whose only problem was getting pregnant from a husband she trusted who left her for, in many cases, a woman who had no idea he was married.
I've seen instances with white women where people ask if her husband was a minority because they couldn't believe a white man would do that.
Oh, the list goes on but I won't bore you with it here.

Answer 3

I agree 100%. My brother in laws the same way. But his ex is a retard who doesnt even try to get support from him because she "loves" him. How can you love someone that breaks your heart over and over and doesnt even try to help his kid? He has bought nothing for his child, not even for Christmas. Hes 26 but cant seem to hold down a job, mooches off friends and family and is dating a girl that just turned 18 and doesnt want him to have anything to do with his kid. Hes currently living with his mom cuz hes a loser and just lost his job for not showing up. Actually he lost his job about 2 months ago but hasnt even started looking for a new one. Who knows how long its been since hes seen his kid. I mean I dont like his ex but still I feel bad for their daughter. Shes a cutie and she didnt ask to be born to a deadbeat dad. She shouldnt have to go through that. No child should. Tell your friend to sue the father for child support. Even if he doesnt have a job now, they'll start garnishing his wages when he gets one. And if he doesnt pay it within a certain amount of time, he'll go to jail. Maybe that will smarten him up.

Answer 4

I am so glad to finally see someone that has the same out look on this as I do. I agree it aint always the dads that are dead beats sometimes it is the mother. I am thankful for the fact that when I got my divorce that my ex was excellent in that area he has always made sure that my kids and I are well and doing good. That is why him and I are still friends. That makes it alot easier on the children. Tell your friend I said best of luck and god bless her and that baby girl and also you for being such a caring friend. The world could use more ppl like you. Hugs to all of you.

Answer 5

Yes unfortunately these things happen all the time. In life you have to wish for the best and be prepared for the worst. Sounds like child support in her situation would only help a little. Its sad that people go thru this but it should be an excuse for the way her life is.

Answer 6

Yes, that bothers me. It bothers me even more so when NEITHER parent will take responsibility, yet one of them still has custody of the child(ren).
I know of at least 2 women who live off the government---paid housing, paid utilities, vehicle bought & paid for by the state with money for gas, food, the whole works-----YET, they refuse to even try to get a job!!! They are capable of working. They are just too damn lazy to do so! What makes it worse is that one doesn't even know who the daddy of her baby is and the other one...well, that daddy is too wrapped up in his drug addiction that he doesn't give a damn about that baby!

Answer 7

You get a big Amen from me! I know a lady in the same boat. Her wussy of an ex-boyfriend went back to mom and daddy; they bought him a $30k car but it's in their name, he lives their lavish house, his mommy cooks his meals and does his laundry, and he isn't even working!! Yeah, the extent a man will go to in order to prevent from paying for his own child is just disgusting. If I saw him in public I would go ballistic on him. I hear ya, if you're man enough to have sex without a condom then you best be man enough to pay up every month for the next 18 years. Cowards!

Answer 8

Everyone always thinks oh the poor mother. But she choose the guy. I understand accidents happen, and people get pregnant, but there are other alternatives to trying to provide for a child you can't afford. It sounds as though she herself doesn't have a strong family network, because I know if I ever got pregnant, there would be shower gifts and people willing to babysit and help out when I needed it. Maybe instead of working two jobs she could create a resume and work at one decent paying job. And on to the guy. There are ways to have his checks garnished. How is he paying for this truck? It is possibly not him paying for it? Because laws will require that he pay his child support, unless she has yet to go that route.

Answer 9

Yeah that does disgust me, and I never thought I'd end up with someone similar to that guy, but I did. The situation you described makes mine seem like a dream come true. Hard working parents get the short end of the stick while the ones who don't do much get all the loopholes in the system.

Answer 10

Hubby and I went thru this with his ex. The bottom line is, if she goes to Child Support Services and tells them hes not paying, they will take it out of his check ...whether he likes it or not. Even if hes not working, he'll have to pay. If he doesnt pay, itll go on his credit. I know, weve been there.*

Answer 11

Your friend needs to get a lawyer to sue for child support and I doubt very much that the truck trick will actually work. Have her see a lawyer that does pro bono (free) cases on occasion and sue his a$$ off.