I'm am a 20 yr old woman who has always had low self-esteem and confidence issues as a child because I've never had family to confide in. I have now been with my loving bf for about 2years who i love with all my heart but complains that I'm not open with him. Its not that um hiding something its that I don't know how to be open. I feel worthless, ugly, and disregarded on the inside but he reassures me that I'm worthy of everything. Why can I take this to heart and make the change that is needed? Are there any other women experiencing this too and how did you get through that episode?
2007-05-25 06:56:33 · 3 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i had the low self esteem issues also from my upbringing..but i decided i'd put on my game face and act like i didn't care what people thought and that i was a good person and i deserve to be happy. eventually making those mental notes daily brought me out of it. my mom calls it "fake it till you make it". now that i'm older and i'm in a relationship, i still "slip" but am quick to recognize where it's coming from and change the thought or reaction. if you don't fix this within yourself you will drive away the other person eventually because when your self esteem is low you become "needy" emotionally. and no matter how much they love you it becomes a burden to them to have to always feel like they are responsible for making you feel better and it's not fare actually. i still have problems being open sometimes but am working on that daily because i love him so much. try counseling for yourself and keep telling yourself that you are a good person and that the life you have now is nothing like it was when you were young...you have the power to make your own choices now.
2007-05-25 07:13:30 · answer #1 · answered by k1971 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you want to change it will make it possible. It is a slow process at which both you and your bf should work. He may tell you what he wants you to be open about so you can understand, and you can then try to do so. he also may be able to tell you when. If you trust your bf, then you will find it not that hard to tell him what you feel or think the moment he asks. after a while he will have asked you so many times and has given you so much practise in wording it, that in the end it will become easy and normal to you. and when it does, you will believe in your own worth. each time you find yourself feeling normal stuff and telling normal stuff will add to your self confidence, but do not expect it to happen in one week. just keep practising for four months at least.. then re-evaluate. :) hope you find your way! I was miss insecurity herself, and look at me now!
2007-05-25 14:06:08 · answer #2 · answered by freebird31wizard 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to change low self esteem is never good in a realtionship
2007-05-25 13:59:51 · answer #3 · answered by abstract_alao 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋