If you can't stand your gf's family.....?

Question

is marriage a viable option? Her mom is retarded and her sister is a pretentious ***.

It's important to me to marry a girl who's family I get along with but I do love my gf.

This is tough seeing how increasingly attached they are to her. The mother calls everyday and always wants to be around/medle in our live.

The sister controls her. She has little sis syndrome and I can't really intervene. Her sister uses her, manipulates her and ditches all responsibility of the crazy mom on my gf. But she defend her pathetically so.

I hate it. I've had enough of it.

Answer 1

Family is important when it comes to marriage. You marry the family as well. I am not going to tell you to not marry her, but I wouldnt do it right now. Take it slow. Are you guys living together? If not, its always best to try that first and if the family keeps on, then its time to have a serious talk with your g/f and possibly her sister as well!!

Answer 2

This is a bit of a stretch, but maybe you and your GF can move away, far away?

This is a tough situation to be in and it's a good thing that you've noticed everything right now. If you think it's bad now it'll only get worse, believe me I know exactly what you're going through. My wife's family put her through all kinds of junk and she's sensitive, it's gotten to the point where I avoid her family because I at times can't take it, like you said enough is enough and you're right you have to get along with her family or else the both of you will always have them in between you, it's going to be tough on your GF because she'll feel like she has to choose between you and her family, and that's not an easy thing to be in. But at the same time you don't need additional stress in your life dealing with them and watching her family treat her bad. But if you stay with her don't have children, your lives will be completely taken over, you will have no life, not that the kids will cause this, but her family is going to drive you overboard!!

Perhaps it's time to move on and carefully find someone who's family oriented and doesn't drive you crazy....


just a thought

Answer 3

If you think it is bad now, wait until you have your own family and they make your wife choose between them and her family. You think you're pi**ed now?? You'll be enraged then! Until your gf is ready to deal with the crazies like an adult, you cannot marry her. She isn't ready or capable of handling anymore. They are codependent on her and she is caught up in all of it. Find someone who has a family that doesn't need meds! You'll be grateful that you did. Building a family and a strong marriage is very, very tough. When you have extended family that isn't supportive in helping you do that, you will have problems for the rest of your and their lives.

Answer 4

If you truly love your gf than dont worry about the family. You are right about picking a girl whos family you like, but trust me the grass is not always greener on the other side. My ex gf, I didnt think I could hate anyone worse than her family, but then my gf now I think I hurt her family more. Getting along with parents of you signifigant other is not easy, do not take that out on your gf though, its not her fault her family is whacko. Keep your head up, and dont let em get to ya.

Answer 5

Wow awful memmories flashing through my mind!!!!!!!

This sounds exactly like my ex and his family only i was the gf and he the bf. Ok bottom line is if she can't seperate herself from her family and get a backbone and say "NO" then it won't work

Believe me!! I had to beak it off and we were engaged because his mother like you gf's would meddle in EVERYTHING! She wanted to control me and him and whne I stood up to her OOOOOOOO SH*IT hit the fan.

His sister like your gf's ran his pathetique life. She would get him and force him to do everything and anything for her. I tried and tried to be friend with her and she just hated me! OOO awful little wrench. Ok anyway back to you lol.

Yes my dear, this is a tough one i konw i've lived it. It will not get better unfourtunatly if she won't take a stand. Marriage will be hell for you, you'll always be having to fend off the mother and siste and then add kids in the picture and OOO NOOOO.

God forbid you divorce you can bet mommy dearest will put up a BIG fight to keep the kids far away from you! No do yourself a favour and leave it.

It sounds harsh but i had to. You could try talking to your gf about it and see but chances are if she won't stand up to them now she never will.

Someone once said "You marry the girl/guy not the family"

Ya whoever said that wasn't married! I'm telling you, you will marry that family and it could make your life hell.

I broke it off and now am with a guy who's family is AMAZING! They are everything i could ever want in an "in-law" family and for me I think it as worth the break up and the wait.

hope that helps
feel free to email me anytime if you need someone who gets it!

Answer 6

They say the daughter turns into her mother. IME there's an element of truth to this. Not telling you what to do, but I had to divorce from someone because I just could not stand being around her family yet she refused to let go of the daughter label and become a wife. Don't expect marriage to change *anything*.

Answer 7

I think you answered your own question. You love the girl but you hate the family and have had enough. In this case I'd say that marriage is not a good choice for you.

Answer 8

First of all, don't dump your girlfriend. Tell your gf that her family has to stay out of your lives as a couple. You can both stand up to her family and say that they need to back off a bit.

Answer 9

I think the 2 of you need to grow up before thinking about marriage

Answer 10

You marry the family,