I have a sister and she is younger than me. she is my only sister and I don't have any brothers. She was raised up correctly by my mother . When she got married , she cheated on her husband after maybe 2 to 3 years. I knew she realy ment it and I did not care to forgive her , but her husband did . So I spoke to her but our relationship was not the same . Now she cheated on him about two more times and still expects me to forgive her for that. She says it is a mistake. I told my parents that I did not want to speak to her again. They took her side and she is totally wrong and because she has done so much things that I didn't even mentioned here. I make good money and I have my own house and I don't owe for it . I built it myself and with my money. Now my mom said that the house they have they will give it to my sister because she feels if something happens to them I will leave my sister out in the road. I told them it is there house and that they could do with it what ever they want.
2007-05-25 05:49:02 · 43 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
All in all shes still your sister . Just keep on her a*s maybe she will change if you help her . Sometimes people need help .They cant all be as strong as you. My sister died and i wish i would have spent more time with her
2007-05-25 06:00:17 · answer #1 · answered by dad 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
About your opening question, I'll say that cheating is never OK. But forgiving is another thing. Jesus Christ said, "Forgive the sinner, not the sin". So someone who is magnanimous enough might forgive a sinner or a cheat, as happened in the case of your sister.
Your sister appears to have developed a habit of cheating on her husband. Having forgiven her once, I don't believe that her husband being a normal human being, will continue to forgive her indiscretions forever. Even though your parents appear to have taken your sister's side, I think that inwardly they too are apprehensive of a situation where her husband will turn out your sister from his house. That is why they have made provisions for her future security by giving her their house. That is hardly wise. Being responsible parents, they should have insisted on their daughter reforming herself for good. Their decision will only embolden her to do more stupid things. You have done your duty and can't do anything more in this matter.
2007-05-25 06:10:30 · answer #2 · answered by Modest 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to be disgusted with your sister. If it was me, I would find it hard to speak to her again. Actually, you have nothing to forgive her for, she didn't cheat you. She cheated her husband, and if he wants to forgive her, good for her. But if you don't want to associate with this type of person again, I can understand that. Why should you?
And your mom could be right, your sister's behaviour could get her out on the streets. So, she probably needs the house more than you do. Even though it seems unfair to you, your parents have forgiven your sister but they have every right to do so (and usually it is easier to forgive your child than to forgive a sibling). As it is, you have a job , a home and can take care of yourself. So just keep away from your sister.
2007-05-25 08:11:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not ok to cheat... nomatter who you are or what the situation is.
I agree with you to an extent because she "knows better" but in all actuality SHE has to be an adult and face the consequences. Her actions are just that.... HER actions. Perhaps she's looking for something she's not getting in her relationship? Perhaps she's got an addiction to the excitement? Enabling her isn't going to make it stop. Either way, until she's ready to be responsible, own her mistakes, and put in an effort to correct them, there's nothing anyone else can do. You don't have to forgive her if you choose not to. HOWEVER, my parents have a saying that I believe to this day. You can love someone without liking them. That's your sister. Love her from a distance if need be and don't become intertwined in her chaos.
2007-05-25 06:06:48 · answer #4 · answered by Just me. 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry I think your wrong. Your sister is old enough to get married she old enough to do what is right or wrong. If her husband is willing to forgive her it up to him. I don't think your parents are preparing for you to leave her on the road. I think they believe this habit will continue and that sooner or later her husband will not forgive her and then she'll have nothing.
Your sister is blood. That is what is important. I don't think you should lie for her but maybe help her find out what is so wrong in her home relationship that she thinks she has to do this. Or help her find out what is wrong with her. Some people are just self destructive. They take a good thing and trash it. Don't turn your back on her because she has problems. Hope this helps.
2007-05-25 05:59:26 · answer #5 · answered by fifthhorseman 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Having been married to a man that cheated on me several times, I'm partial to the "Once a cheater, always a cheater." And it's something I won't tolerate in a relationship. And regardless of how much I try to avoid it, knowing if someone is unfaithful to their significant other really does leave a bad impression with me. :(
Having said that, I also believe that there's no act that we can't forgive another person for. Just remember, forgiving someone doesn't mean you're saying what they're doing is ok, or you agree with their actions. Maybe if you try to rekindle your relationship with your sister you can be a positive influence in her life? Maybe she needs that right now?
2007-05-25 05:55:47 · answer #6 · answered by Becca 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think cheating is a rotten thing to do, but she's not cheating on you and it's not your marriage, so it's better to just stay out of it. I know from experience that family won't change, you just have to be the sane rock in the middle of the crazy stream and let the drama just flow past you! Better just work on your own life and have positive relationships where possible.
Jealous about the house much? You've got your own, so why worry about it? Surely you don't want her to be homeless because she's not living her life the way you THINK you would live it in her place.
2007-05-25 06:12:46 · answer #7 · answered by Ming 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. It sounds as if you really dont like the person that your sister is. After all, she seems a bit spoiled--especially since your parents will give her their home, and especially since she cheats on her husband. My guess is that she is probably also attractive, since her husband is so willing to forgive her, but she keeps on sleeping with different guys. Well, maybe your sister is a bit of a pain in the asss---but for your own sake, I would encourage you to try to Forgive her, and not think about her infidelities at all--and just leave that part of her life between her and God. I'll tell you why: many of us normal, hardworking people have crazy family members. I'm a Teacher, dont drink, or smoke, but I have family members on drugs, who commit adultery, etc. The bottom line is that as long as our family members are not actively hurting us in a direct manner--we must learn to overlook their personal flaws, forgive them, and move on with being happy in our own lives.
In other words, yes your sister is a spoiled, selfish jerk--but you cant sit around all day being mad at her for what she does in her personal life. She is still an adult, and she has the right to make those choices. So, just realize her infidelities have Nothing to do with your life--nothing. I'm telling you, there is no doubt that your sister will eventually pay for her mistakes. She is either going to end up with a nasty STD (since condoms do not protect you from herpes, genital warts, and HPV/cervical cancer); OR, her husband will leave her, and she'll marry a man who will Cheat On Her. Remember, what goes around, comes around. So, dont worry about your bratty little sister. Leave her life alone, stay out of her personal business, and keep your relationship focuses on what bonds you: your parents, children, helping each other, etc..In the meantime, learn to focus on your own life, your own happiness, and doing what makes you happy...
As far as your parents giving the house to your sister--fine, so be it. You are sucessful and thats good enough. Just remember that when it comes to children, parents usually give most of their affection and help to the weaker one--not the strong one. You are the strong one. Peace.
2007-05-25 06:07:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First,only God can truly forgive and besides why is your sister asking you for forgiveness when in all reality its none of your business what she did. This should only involve her and her husband as it was their marital vows she broke. You may not agree with what she did or why and may never talk to her again because ofyour moral beliefs but then thats your choice and she must learn to honor your decision. You were right in telling your parents about the house as you dont need it so leave it to her as a gift but dont tell you theyre doing it so in case you leave your sister out in the cold. Thats just plain wrong. Your sisiter chose her actions and must now learn to deal with the consequences of it from anyone. Youve done nothing wrong here that I can see. Good luck
2007-05-25 06:05:21 · answer #9 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She's needing *your* forgiveness? You're joking, right?
What has your parents house got to do with your attitude towards your sister? Sounds like you're jealous of the fact she'll get a house, and are using her choices as a rationalisation. It's not as though she made any vows to you, so unless it was your hubby she cheated with, what on earth did she do to you that she should be forgiven for? Maybe you should instead seek her forgiveness for being such a judgemental opinionated A** about stuff she's done that is none of your business.
2007-05-25 05:57:49 · answer #10 · answered by Ian S 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If even God is all-forgiving and All-loving, who are you not to forgive? She is your sister---your ONLY sister!
Even her husband (the very person whom she cheated on!) has forgiven her. Why not you, man? Don't be hard on yourself!
What you think is "my money", "My house" , my my my .........all that can be snatched away by Him in a second!
Have a liberal attitude. You will sleep well, and enjoy peace at last! Isn't THAT what we all want?
2007-05-25 20:43:54 · answer #11 · answered by thegentle Indian 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋