My violent ex husband raped me 20+ times when I left him, I got pregnant now five kids. How can I get over it?

Question

Whoever wrote I enjoyed it or made it up has some issues. Anyone who has ever been in an abusive relationship knows that the last thing you want to do is admit your being abused & it's very embarrassing to say your husband raped u because of the fine line. Once I came to that conclusion it was 2 late, it had already happened 2 many times. I did allow it because I didn't respect myself & because I loved him + I stayed but now I can see that it was rape everytime I said no. I am wiser now but it's too bad I got pregnant but he will have to live with what he did for the rest of life. r baby will be a constant reminder 2 him.And someone said call the police yeah right (men cops)they have trouble believing rape victims as it is, especially a wife. Most people think a wife should have sex whenever her husband wants it( just lay there right) Wrong It took for me to get pregnant from a rape for me to wake up & leave this man who couldv'e killed me, my kids saw him hit me and rape me.

Answer 1

you are not a woman in the US are you
talking about it is the best way to get the help you may need
you need to remember that the kids had nothing to do with this
I feel sorry for you and would never wish this on anybody
talk to anybody that will listen and that will help a lot

Answer 2

Okay first of all about all of the people who said terrible things to you they are idiots who obviously know nothingabout abusive relationships and obviuosly do not realize the rape doesnt always mean a big violent battle...it could simpley be you saying no but the guy continueing. I am very sorry that you went through this and glad you got out. remember he will not change so never go back. You should get counseling and maybe join a support group. also if your children seen any form of abuse I would suggest gettig counseling for them to. If you dont help them to understand it is wrong then they too could grow up to be in abusive relationships and I am sure you would never want that. Also just look at your children and realize that you got 5 wonderful things out of a bad situation. I know just loving my kids makes alot of my problems go away!

Answer 3

Forgiveness.................thats where the healing is...Look we are all sinners if you believe Christ died for us on the cross,,if you believe that , then you know without that work done on the cross WE ourselves, wouldnt be able to forgive ourselves for the bad stuff we've done...the point is as much as it hurts to admit this your ex-husband is forgiven by God because of Christ,,but you see King David was a liar, an adulterer and a murderer yet the Word saie "he was a man after God's own heart",, a Murderer!....just like every day this is forgiveness and grace for you , it is for your ex also....you cannot NOT forgive him because God has forgiven him,,if you dont forgive him for all the hurt and pain basically what you are saying is your higher than God,,but your not so you must forgive him,,we are supposed to report it to the Lord when someone hurts us and he will punish them,,,holding onto unforgiveness and shame and anger will not hurt him at all he wont even FEEL your unforgiveness, or anger,,its only affecting you,,,
when you "let go and let God" is when you'll get over it,,The Lord will bless you with joy , peace, when you create room in your heart for it,,,HE cant give it to you if Anger , Unforgiveness, Shame, whatever else you have is taking all the space in your heart.......you should really look up Joyce Meyer on the web,,,,www.joycemeyer.org ,she's a victim of abuse and God helped her get over it and now shes helping women World wide! she'll change your life,,look into her please,,will be praying for you!

Answer 4

You need serious help. How could you subject other women to similiar incidents? Even worse, how could you subject your children to such deeds? If you didn't care about yourself, think about your children. Too many women don't report rape because of the shame and lack of respect from the community. If your kids seen it happen, they can vouch for you. It's easier said than done. Get counseling immediately. You can not start over or move on with your life with this still on your mind. Good luck to you. Happy Healing.

Answer 5

sometimes scars dont go away and you always remember the bad things. you might not get over it all and im sorry for what happened to you. i think you should take that *** whole to jail. but dont take this offensively. i think to try to move on you should forget what happened and look at your beautiful kids and you could move to a new place and never let him find where you are. i hope you have the best of luck and i think you should tell the police. im only 12 and in 7th grade so im not that sure of rape but i watch court TV alot and so this all the advice i can give you. good luck in life gurly!

Answer 6

Why have you let this man stay free to have the opportunity to rape other women? If this is true then you should have reported him long ago. Having been a victim of rape myself it is not very nice to joke about it. The first thing you need to do is report him, then seek counselling.

Answer 7

You need to call a rape crisis line, they can help you, send in prayer requests for emotional healing and look up on the net for free prayerlines to call. You need to get some kind of federal assistance. The best states for that are either Connecticut or Minnesota. Join a good church that can help you and your family. God Bless.

Answer 8

Sometimes Raped Victims, do not want to press charges, because they as you say Loved him or you felt you had to abide having sex with him, because you felt you had to be submissive,or your duty to let him have his way with you. Maybe deep down, you felt that, what was the use of fighting him, he was going to get his way with you so, you let him. My guess is that you felt you had to stay with him because of your kids, and what were you going to do, if your ex left you, how were you going to take care of your kids, with their necessities. Above all else you as their Mother, had to think of the welfare of your kids. Now, that you have had some time to get your thoughts together,and some nerve, you want to make your ex. pay for what he did to you, you have every right to press charges and to take him to Court, and I hope you will feel vindicated once you have won the case. Good Luck to you, and I hope you will be able to feel better, once this is behind you.

Answer 9

That is a sad situation. I would stay away from him, but him in jail. Make sure you get counseling for you and your babies. I know people have all kinds of advice, belief and disbelief but you need to take care of you and your babies start with the healing process through church and counseling. Good luck to you!

Answer 10

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