I was a only child have aways been a loner.Crowds bother me .And I crave to be alone.Is this normal?

Question

Do other only children feel this way as they grow up.Or would I have been this way if I was not a only child .Just my personalaty

Answer 1

I'm an only child and you might as well be describing me. :)

Thanks, I thought there was something wrong with me, but I guess it's from growing up the way we did.

Thanks!

Answer 2

I don't know about normal or not, but I have a one child that has two older sisters. Older as in 20 and 17 years difference. So...she is and has been the only one at home and the older sisters aren't real close to mine. So I consider her an only child. She has growing up that way.

She is shy, loves to spend time alone. I do believe that crowds bother her a bit as well. She has a few good friends but not hoards...

I don't see anything abnormal about mine....so...I don't think you are abnormal either.

I hope you aren't having people bother because of it. That I have wondered about mine too.

You are normal!

Answer 3

Is it normal? Yes. In the sense that it is typically human. We all need solitude at times. Is it the lowest common denominator that we all share? Perhaps not. I must assume, although I would prefer to ask you, that you are asking the question because you have had doubts as to whether you want to make the effort to socialize. Trust your feelings in this way. When you crave solitude, meet those needs. When you have doubts, it may be because you also have a complimentary need for others. Friends provide validation, empathy, laughter, interaction, connection, and so on. We humans tend to be happiest when a wide variety of our needs are being satisfied. I like people the most when we are working together on commonly chosen goals.

Answer 4

I'm the same way, only I did not grow up an only child. I was pretty much abandoned by my parents, then one of them got killed and the other went nuts. Me and my sister were placed in an orphanage, I learned during a family discussion as to what the family wanted to do with us was to get rid of us. Except for my little sis, she went to one of our aunts. I was deathly ill as a child and spent a Lot of time in hospitals, with minimal care or attention. I have grown up to be a "dissociative personality" I like the child explanation better, Reactive Attachment Disorder -- which is: Neglect of a Child's basic needs. One who did not have physical safety, enough food, or touching in their early years. The child is not taught how to develop emotional bonds, because of parental Isolation, usually the child is placed in orphanages or other instutions. Hospitals, because of not receiving the most basic needs of touching, love, safety, food, the child grows up unable to develop emotional bonds. We resist social interaction, seek isolation, and physical contact actually makes us hurt.

Answer 5

I have 2 younger siblings, and I have always craved alone time. I think it just depends on how we are "wired". I've heard stories of people who grew up in large families - some
turned out to be loners, simply because they needed to 'get away'; others ended up loving being a part of large crowds.

And , PS - there's nothing wrong with being a loner!!

Answer 6

I had a friend that was very similar to you, but she had a sister and a brother. I don't think that the only child thing has much to do with it. Some people are just natural loners, it's not really a problem unless you have difficulty interacting with people. I'm kind of that way myself.

Answer 7

If this truly effects your ability to be social and makes you uncomfortable and nervous (to the point where you become anxious, jittery, and sweaty) then you could possibly have a social disorder. Talk to someone (counselor or therapist) if it's that severe. If not, then you're prob just shy and you should work on ways to come out of your shell. Eventually, if you do this gradually, you won;t be afraid to be around people and to approach people. Befriend an out-going person, this should help.

Answer 8

It not only has to do with you being an only child, but also your personality. I am the same way. I would rather watch people doing there thing than participate in what they are doing. It all takes awhile to explain, but I suggest you find a good book about personalities. ex. Why You Act The Way You Do.

Answer 9

I'm an only child and the exact same way. You're not alone. If you don't grow upwith other people you become very independant and realize that you don't need others. Nothing wrong with that.

Answer 10

you're probably fine. I think there should be a balance of having company and being alone, and for each person, the weight of each will differ. If your desire to be alone becomes extreme, or is affecting your career/personal life, then you might want to seek counseling.

I am an only child and relish my alone time. In fact, I consider it a sign of health.

Answer 11

Your parents gave you all the attention you wanted then. Now without all that specific attention you get the kind that is insufficient, therefore you'd rather be alone. Nothing wrong with that. I'm the same way 'cept for messing with this place.