I am completely in love w my boyfriend,believe he is my soulmate. We have been dating for 1 year 2 months. I am turning 33 this year and he just turned 30. I've been living on my own 10 years and am ready to take the next step. He just moved out of his parents 2-3 years ago and bought studio co-op. The place is definetly too small for me and my cat. He likes his studio and will not sell it untill Oct 2008 due to tax. Might be a way of renting it? His parents visit 4 times a year and stay at his place. In January he casually was asking if I want to live together sometime and I said yes. Then 2 weeks later when I asked he "backed out" saying he looked at his finances and also that he did not mean it anytime soon!? I got upset and this has been causing insecurities and fights since February. "he needs several months of not mentioning it and no arguments to consider it" I don't know what this means time wise. I need to sign my lease by 7/15 for 9/1 renewal 1 year. What do I do?? Say? Act?
2007-05-25 04:03:35 · 6 answers · asked by losing my mind 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is not ready for you to move in with him, plain and simple. Sign your lease or you will be homeless.
2007-05-25 04:09:13 · answer #1 · answered by Schwinn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, this isn't the place to get an answer. You have the answer within you. If you are truly upset about this, you should move on and cut him loose.
But all of the information I am sure isn't here. The reality is a year isn't a whole lot of time, and there has to be more to this on his end. The discussion is now at the point where you are asking a question a good month and a half ahead. So if the lease is for just a year, why don't you sign it and let things be what they are. A year from now, if he has the same feelings, then you are well on your way to knowing where you stand... but after a year of dating, your relationship is a bit on the new side... So is the real issue that you are in your 30's and wanting something to set a goal on, or is this really love..
Love can wait, and love can deal with time.. Energy and agony can't.
2007-05-25 04:12:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go.
Sign your lease.
He is trying to get out gracefully, let him.
You may feel that you are soul mates but he may not at this point.
If it is meant to be then it will later down the road but not right now.
He sounds as though he is not quite ready to make the commitment that you are ready to make.
Get your own space and if he wants to spend time with you then he will come to you and he will not feel that you are clinging to him.
The problem with insecurity is that it makes the insecure person reach for the other person, the other person feels smothered they back up, one reaches, the other backs up and so on, and so on, and so on. Break that cycle.
Be secure in who you are and what you want in your own life with our without him. That way when he does come to you it will be a secure woman that is ready to love and be loved without insecurities on either party.
2007-05-25 04:16:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Renew your lease and find a guy who won't leave you hanging around for years with no commitment....
2007-05-25 04:08:25 · answer #4 · answered by kitkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, you still have a month and a half, wait till then and see how you both feel.
2007-05-25 04:18:37 · answer #5 · answered by kat70359 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I only know one thing....when am man TRULY wants to be with you, nothing else matters, not even money......heck, they are even willing to spend money they do not even have on an expensive ring.......
2007-05-25 04:07:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋