My husband sometimes works late on the weekends. The problem is.. Alot of the time, the kids are gone, im home alone and very bored and like to get together with my friend (female) and go out to the bar. Its nice to get out of the house and socialize. Im not getting into any trouble, i dont drink too much and I walk to the bar so im not drinking and driving. It really bothers my husband. He feels that if he is out working that I shouldnt be out having fun with the girls. I should be sitting home. I can understand that it bothers him and he is earning money for us and im out "drinking" but im not spending alot of money and im being good and not doing anything wrong. What do you think?
2007-05-25 03:52:03 · 18 answers · asked by sea_sher 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Alot of people are asking "does he go out with the guys".. No, that is the problem. he doesnt have any guy friends that live in the area. I try to encourage him to get out every now and then and do that but he "chooses" not to.
Its not like we live in a big city or that im hanging around singles bars. Its a very very small town and everyone knows everyone. Its the regular crowd singing karaoke and playing pool.
2007-05-25 04:08:27 · update #1
I think that it is only normal to want to go out and have a good time and if he is not around because he is working there should not be a problem with it. If he really trusts you than he should not have a problem with it either. If it is just once in a while there is no reason for him to be upset. If it became a every night kind of a deal than I could see where he would be upset. Does he ever go out with his guy friends? If he doesn't maybe that is why he has a problem with it and maybe he needs to take some time and do some thing fun with his friends and then he would not have a problem with it. You are doing nothing wrong and should not feel bad for going out and having a good time.
2007-05-25 04:02:55 · answer #1 · answered by butterfly_2blue 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
This is actually the reverse in my house. My husband works a lot too, but he has a lot of buddies and hobbies, I do not. So when he's working, I'm fine, because it's work. But when he's out with his buddies fishing, boating, riding his motorcycle, or drinking (which isn't often) then I feel bad because I literally have nothing to do. I have two friends, one with a boyfriend who she's like me, totally into her man so has little time for friends. And the other is single and the only thing we mostly do is go out to clubs or to dinner occasionally. I know I need to get some hobbies, my husband can't be my entire life. And I don't want to go to clubs anymore, I'm 36 and so past all that. While I know it's healthy for me and my husband to spend time apart, I think we should be best friends and do many activities together. He doesn't disagree, he just thinks I need to find some new friends and interests. He's right of course but until then, I hate when he's out without me I feel bad I have no close friends. It sounds as if your husband is the same. He works a lot, but he doesn't like that you go out out of sheer boredom. He knows in his heart he shouldn't feel that way, but he does and he can't help it. I would suggest you continue to urge him to make some new friends. Tell him that your going out has nothing to do with him, you are just bored at home alone. Good luck.
2007-05-25 04:18:15 · answer #2 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
We all need our girl friends. I agree!!!! And its fun to go out drinking with them thats for sure. A marriage needs trust, but i would have to say that if my hubby was out drinking in a bar on the weekend nights while i am working i wouldn't like it either. Why don't you take it to her house or have her over for some drinks? Its safer and your busy. Think how you would feel if he did that while you worked. He is out busting his butt while your downing them in a bar, think of what a great guy you have that wants to support you enough to work late on weekends, you could be stuck with that loser thats sitting next to you in the bar.
2007-05-25 04:09:47 · answer #3 · answered by Maria 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is the money that bothers your husband. It is hanging out at a bar. Single people hang out at bars... guy's constantly hit on bar girls. What if after work he spent some time at a singles bar to just wind down before comming home. Cute girls hitting on him make him feel young. (Even if your completely trustworthy.... why put yourself in the path of temptation.)
Maybe you might think about spending your free time at the library instead, how about volunteering to catalogue books. Any Charities, or local Church , elementary schools often need parents or retired people to help as teacher assistants you can volunteer to do something constructive... instead of destructive (to your marriage).
2007-05-25 04:02:18 · answer #4 · answered by Darren 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Try having your friends over to your house. Don't go somewhere that is a hivve of people looking for an easy score.
You shouldn't go out to bars without your husband, but as far as socializing, there is nothing wrong with that.
2007-05-25 04:01:11 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Enamorada♥ 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I don't see why you should have to sit home alone. There's nothing wrong with you having some 'you' time once in a while. I wouldn't make a habit of hanging out in a bar, though. Maybe he feels like you're having fun, while he's stuck working. Does it bother him because you're in a bar or would it bother him no matter where you were.....like at a coffee house or movies?
2007-05-25 03:57:32 · answer #6 · answered by sassysusie 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Nothing good happens at a bar... That's were good girls go bad no matter how innocent it start off before you know it your name and # is posted on the wall above the urinal...
2007-05-25 04:08:18 · answer #7 · answered by bluemist 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he totally ignores your need for a social life, that's one thing. But if otherwise he takes you places when he can, then you have a problem that may be hard to solve. If he perceives it is wrong for you to go out with the girls, there's not much hope to change his mind, even if you are being totally innocent.
2007-05-25 04:08:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
what a bonehead. there is nothing wrong with having a girl's night out. it keeps us sane. outside of a beer at the bar, it's really no different than spending money on haircuts, manicures and pedicures or clothes. my husband wants me to get out of the house now and then. he knows i need a release and everyone needs there girlfriends.
2007-05-25 04:02:27 · answer #9 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
"He feels that if he is out working that I shouldnt be out having fun with the girls." Anyone one would feel this way.
Maybe you're bored, but this isn't the kind of 'fun' that your husband is going to be comfortable w/ you having while he has to work. Really, that sucks for him!
2007-05-25 04:00:12 · answer #10 · answered by Ann 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋