Several months ago my husband decided to no longer drink, admitting he had a problem with alcohol. He can't drink one or two beers, he always in excess ALWAYS!! Anyway, within the last couple months he has started drinking again and last night when I got home from work he had been drinking for 4 hours, was drunk and hanging out on the internet (nothing seedy I knew what site he was on)...he then spent until 2 AM!! drinking and chatting on the net ignoring me the whole time. I even tried to explain to him that I was not comfortable being in an environment w/alcohol abuse (having grown up in it) and that there is a difference between one or two drinks to relax after a hard day and then there is drinking in excess everytime you drink...he says he understands and respect where I am coming from and then GOES OUT AND BUYS MORE BEER?!! WTF?!! Would you be angry? How do I make him understand why I am so upset and disappointed in him?
2007-05-25 03:51:32 · 11 answers · asked by Notagain 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let me also add that he doesnt drink daily (which I know is no excuse) but when he does drink it is always in excess.
2007-05-25 04:01:18 · update #1
You need support from a group such as Al Anon.....there will you will the help you are seeking.
Best of luck to you. Your husband is the ONLY one that can stop his drinking.........
2007-05-25 03:55:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know this sounds horrible but I am in the same boat!
I have been married for 11 years now and alcohol is a bad deterrent on our relationship. I also grew up with alcohol in my family and absolutely did not want my children to have that type of parents. And to know he was not an alcoholic when we married. We even used to have fun having a drink together but now he takes it too far.
I wish I had some words of wisdom-but I need help too.
2007-05-25 04:07:17 · answer #2 · answered by Kim 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not accept this from him.
he is obviously in need of rehab, and you should really try and get him some help... the only thing is if he really does not want to do it for himself, he won't do it...
you need to be protecting yourself from the pain and misery that will come with staying with an alcoholic. If he is unwilling to get help for his drinking you really should consider separating... either temporarily to tell him you will give him time to reconsider getting help, or permanent if you cannot see any efforts to change.
and by the way, an alcoholic has to stop drinking... he cannot have one or two "relaxation" drinks.
2007-05-25 09:51:02 · answer #3 · answered by Twizzle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make him understand until he is no longer drinking, then when he See's everything thru sober eyes he might well understand.
Something is triggering this off.
You say he does not drink everyday, so what happened for him to drink this time?
I think your hubby might need help and may be you can both work on this, but he has to help also.
2007-05-25 04:28:26 · answer #4 · answered by Lemonade 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What he's doing could be considered mental abuse in the right court. He should be in a rehab program and not just "pinky swearing" to lay off the booze. Lucky for you he sounds like a mellow drunk, just happy with his beer. But you never know what might set him off someday. Make him get some counseling.
2007-05-25 04:15:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree completely with the blonde avitar above me. Children of alcoholics almost always choose alcoholics for spouses. You need Al-anon to help break the cycle. You are both adults. You are in charge of you. He is in charge of himself. You cannot make him stop drinking or control the amount he drinks. He's out of control. You are too if you think you can control him. Get help. Call al-anon now. Get some healing. You won't regret it.
2007-05-25 04:00:49 · answer #6 · answered by jaicee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's an alcoholic. See about getting him into rehab. He probably needs to do an inpatient program for a while.
At the very least, you all need to do AA and maybe therapy.
Good luck! :)
2007-05-25 03:57:29 · answer #7 · answered by searching_please 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be worried about him. He obviously has a problem and/or is very unhappy. People have set backs, this is a struggle, you have to be supportive of him and struggle with him.
I would be disappointed, but I wouldn't be mad. I am sorry he isn't paying attention to you, but he is going through something more difficult than not getting attention from his spouse.
2007-05-25 03:57:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He already knows he has a problem. If he is NOT willing to change then you need to move on. You cannot change him unless he is ready to do it himself.
And I wouldnt confront when he is drinking because you will be wasting your time.
2007-05-25 03:59:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have every right to be mad but t he only way he will quit is when he wants to, you can try leaving him and tell him that you wont come back until he get help or tell him that you are going to leave if he doesnt get help, good luck
2007-05-25 04:00:04 · answer #10 · answered by ohmy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋