I have been married for 5 years. The first few we fought really bad, for that last year or so I thought it had been smooth sailing. But my husband blows up over nothing at all. Everytime something doesn't go his way he calls me names and says he hates me and that the only reason we're still together is for the kids. That I'm annoying and just like my mother. That I'm stupid and make him mad on purpose. I love him with all of my heart and I can't understand why he hates me. He says he would leave me and the kids and be selfish if it would make him happy. I love him and I can't live on my own (financially) and that also plays a part. We have no one to fall back on. It would be me and the kids and I just can not afford it! I always say sorry even if I'm not wrong just to make it go away but it takes forever for him to forgive and it go back to normal... I'm so upset it's depressing me beyone belief!
2007-05-25 03:35:30 · 10 answers · asked by Jamie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all you can do it on your own. That is what child support is for. Dont tell yourself you can't, because then you will believe it. It sounds to me like he is a bit of an emotional abuser. Dont let him bring you down, because when you are down he won't bring you back up. I would suggest kicking him to the curb, and see how things go from there. Who knows maybe if he realizes you are serious and not going to put up with his desrespect he will realize how much he does care for you. He doesnt hate you, although he may say it, he doesnt. Remember if you dont respect yourself no one will.
2007-05-25 03:43:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is NOT a good situation for either you or your children to be in! Firstly, why should HE forgive YOU, if you are not in the wrong? He is simply showing his mastery over you, and making you march to his little drum. If you were to leave him, you would not be totally penniless, he would have to pay for the upkeep of the children at least. I don't know the laws governing alimony where you live, but rest assured you will not be without money to live. Life would probably be a bit of a battle after leaving him, but is there no possibility of you getting a job, even if it is part time? Surely there are also other avenues, such as temporary shelters, open to your until you are able to get yourself settled? Staying in a relationship where you are constantly put down like this really is not the way to live, and I would urge you to sit him down, and have a really serious conversation with him, and tell him that if he does not change his attitude, he is welcome to leave. You deserve much better than this, and so do your children. They see what happens between the two of you, and believe me, it affects children negatively when hey see one of their parents continually browbeating the other.
2007-05-25 10:52:25 · answer #2 · answered by sparrow 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are in a bad situation babe. This hubby of yours is blaming you for everything that goes wrong in his life. If he starts in on you with his foul disrespectful mouth, its your fault. If there is not enough money for something he wants to buy, its your fault. If he has a bad day at work, its because of you. There will always be reasons why he is upset, and its always because of you. He is not a man. He is a poor example of a human being. This guy needs to clean up his act and look at his own reflection in the mirror. Therapy will bring his childhood into the picture and show how his parents treated him. And of course, this will be the reason why he is like he is. There will be no changing him. He has a nasty temper that will lead into physically abusing you and the kids, if it hasn't already happened. You need help, and fast. No one wants to go to a shelter. My suggestion is to talk to your local church first. They may be able to set you up with housing and money. If not the first church, find another. This is quicker then the state helping you. Best of wishes babe. Let me know how this works if you decide. My heart is with you and your children.
2007-05-25 14:31:26 · answer #3 · answered by HOPE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been there. I know it is hard. You can't stay with him and you can't leave. There is no clear cut answer to this. You can get help from people in your area (associations and domestic harmony type things). If he does these things to you in front of the children you need to leave. Life would be bad for a little while. You would have to get a job, daycare and eventually child support to make it. But that bad time would last a little while, and it would eventually be best for your children. The life you are leading now may pass. Every relationship has its hard times. Times when you think you can not take it, sometimes it is best to just stick it out. I think though....that when abuse is present....there may not be better times ahead. If you need to talk you can email me :)
2007-05-25 10:43:17 · answer #4 · answered by deet deet 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are crazy to put up with this. Lots of woman are able to support their children on their own. He has to pay chid support and your State will help with different programs. You are showing your children how to be a door mat and that is going to be thier life when they grow up. You are also changing who they would have been by making them live in a house where argueing is always going on. LEAVE!!!
2007-05-25 10:43:44 · answer #5 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like he's a child himself. My first husband was like this. He would create drama just to make me feel bad and everything was my fault. Sometimes I felt like I had to apologize for breathing. You are stronger than you think. Your children see this behavior and how he treats you. My advice, find some sort of shelter or something. Get out of this situation for you and your children. I understand you love him, but love yourself more. Good Luck.
2007-05-25 10:42:54 · answer #6 · answered by lesmodee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honey, start saving up, find another job, get a low income apartment, even government will help, if you guys divorce, the mother mostly always gets custody, and he will have to pay child support which will help you alot. dont put up with this. you cant be with someone that doesnt love you anymore, he's probably being like this because he has some one else!
2007-05-25 10:42:05 · answer #7 · answered by KINGs girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like to me your husband (if that's what you want to call him) has someone else on his mind. Kind of makes you think he's guilty of something from the way he acts towards you, or should I say reacts.
2007-05-25 14:51:42 · answer #8 · answered by Rgal 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go now! I did it!
You will manage....your kids will adjust. You deserve better, and you will regain your pride and self-esteem!
Stop making excuses and go and look for a better and happier life for you and your babies!
2007-05-25 11:20:38 · answer #9 · answered by Chatterbox 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to counseling with or without him. Find out how to regain your self esteem.
2007-05-25 10:40:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋