I am very afraid about taking my wife back, she left me because I would not bend down towards her 3 kids( from past relationships she had with three different guys)and moved to another state and had affair. She said she was not going to tell me about it, but she felt guilty of doing. She said that I was better then the person she done it with. Because he did not give a chance to get, off. In addition, she asked God if he changed her thinking towards me about making love and gives her the desire to open up and please me more. However, its take affair to open yours eyes about your husband loving. She had past sexual problem when she was young she been abused. I deal with that during our marriage. I took a lot from her. Now she had affair now she realized how much I really love her and been patient with her throughout this ordeal. should I or shouldn't I?
2007-05-25 03:33:22 · 7 answers · asked by blkngd 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Heck no this woman is a wack job! Stay as far away as you can....
2007-05-25 03:38:37 · answer #1 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course in the end you will do whatever it is you want to do (isn't that what we all do? :-), but I'm sorry, I don't think you should take her back. From an objective point of view, it appears that she has at least a couple of serious problems that neither you, nor her new 'epiphany' about how much you really love her and have been patient will be able to solve enough to be able to change her dysfunctional behavior. Those kinds of things take a lot of personal HARD WORK psychologically to overcome. 'Sudden realizations after poor behavior' aren't going to fix what is going on with her.
The mere fact that this woman has 3 children from 3 different men AND cheated on YOU with ANOTHER man tells me this will come to no good for YOU. That kind of behavior also says loud and clear that not only did she not value you like she should have, but she also doesn't value herself that much either, don't you agree? A person has to be able to love themselves before they can truly love somebody else.
I would say she needs to get professional counseling, work on her issues and AFTER she makes substantial progress on them MAYBE there could be a relationship for the two of you. MAYBE. If you take her back now I would be extremely dubious that it would work out happily for either of you. Especially in the long term, I'd give it VERY poor odds of success.
I would try very hard to take my feelings out of it and look at the situation (and her) rationally and very objectively. Then, what do you see? What I see as a stranger is that it 'dont' look good'.
I hope that she will find the inner strength to deal with her personal issues, and that you both find true love and happiness, whether it be with, or without, each other.
2007-05-25 04:00:56 · answer #2 · answered by Me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Steps
1. Be in control of the situation. If you're going to express your feelings you don't want any unwelcome distractions rearing their ugly heads.
2. Say it somewhere you are comfortable, sometime when you are comfortable, with some one you are comfortable with.
3. Breathe. Some people get so nervous they don't breathe. Take in a deep breathe, swallow your nerves and say "I love you."
4. In the aftermath. Wait. Make sure you keep looking in the eyes. It will be easy to see the reaction.
Tips
* Maintain the following:
* sincerity
* gaze
* intentions
* dreamy expression
* If you can't say it directly, try telling your intended that you have said it to a friend: "I told my friend Susan that I am in love with you".
Warnings
* If the love is not requited, you need to be understanding and caring towards the feelings of the object of your desire. At least your friend now knows how you feel. It is not good to bottle your feelings up inside.
* Resist the temptation to get emotional and cry like a little baby!
2007-05-25 03:44:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it's very normal for an estranged spouse to come back after they've had their fun and hit rock bottom. What you must rationalize is whether this was a one time fling or if it is a cycle that is just going to go on forever. No point is taking that kind of abuse over and over.
2007-05-25 03:40:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sexually abused people have issues. She needs treatment for her sex addiction.
2007-05-25 03:44:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would get over her. Sorry she sounds hopeless. She cheated on you.
2007-05-25 03:39:59 · answer #6 · answered by 354gr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No G*d**n way are you insane RUN , RUN as fast as you can .She is worthless
2007-05-25 04:45:16 · answer #7 · answered by angrywm14 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋