The girl was kicked out of her parents house, my guess, is for her poor attitude.I'm a little old fashioned and I think this girl needs some structure and rules in order to ever have a chance of getting back on track.I realize that she must be willing to work towards that change and it won't happen overnight.So back to my question, what are reasonable rules and expectations for a 16 year old? I appreciate those who will take the time to answer.
2007-05-25 03:29:10 · 8 answers · asked by gussie 7 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Kiki, you are correct there are issues with her parents.She has not been living with her mother and stepfather for about a year.She was staying in another town with the parent's of one of her friends.She has been kicked out of public school and is in alternative school.My friend took in this girl when she got a phone call from the police. I don't know here this will all end but I have concerns this girl will be more than she can handle.She has children of her own.
2007-05-25 05:12:24 · update #1
Just to clarify , my friend has children ,not the girl.
2007-05-25 05:13:22 · update #2
I've been working with troubled teens for the past eight years, and you are right, children of all ages need rules and guidelines. They won't admit this but they actually want them.
Actual rules will be hard to give you because each situation is different. The one to start with is a curfew. Most parents find this one hardest to control but at 16 the curfew should be like 10 on a school night and 11 on the weekends. But they should not be allowed to go out every evening. They should also tell you where, when, and who they will be with. They all have phones and they should not be allowed to not answer when you call to check on them.
They will complain about invasion of privacy but they will appreciate that you care to know what they are up too. Also, no closing themselves up in their room. If they are in their room the door should be open and no computer in the room. Put their computer in a public space like the living room or dining room where you can see what they are doing.
If you pay for the phone and web access you have the right to check their messages and monitor their online chat and myspace pages.
Require homework. They will say "I don't have any" Ask the teacher to make sure they have some. You do it with them. Don't set them to homework if you don't want to help.
Finally, limit TV viewing. A lot of the time they watch TV because they are bored. Let them choose a book or magazine and have them read something, anything. It will serve them enormously in the real world and for the rest of their lives.
The biggest thing is to show them that YOU are interested in them. A lot of adolescent misbehavior is just attention getting behavior. Pay attention and the problems go away.
2007-05-25 03:43:57 · answer #1 · answered by rescueman91 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
She needs to have a curfew, needs to have chores, rules in general not mouthing back, you know the basic rules a child at that age should....and I think her curfew should be 12 or 11:30, I remember when i was 16 my mom let me out till 12 and i actually came home a little bit early, but then i started to get into trouble and ended up pregnant at 16, I was a lucky girl though my man stuck around and now we are married with a 6 year old little boy!!! A child does need structure, although my mom was sick with cancer and couldnt do much....just help her understand that you are her friend but you are also and authority figure!! Good LUCK!!
2007-05-25 10:47:45 · answer #2 · answered by Girl K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to know the rules at home with her parents and know that she's under their responsibilities so whatever happens to her its basically their falt..I am 20 yrs old..I have had some problems with my parents too..and the way we found to resolve the matter was to one understand the other and try to work with another but not till the point were it gets ridiculous...let her know that she might think she knows everything and can do everything just because shes 16 but once she grows older she'll realize that she wasnt nothing...an immature girl..oh and most important!! that her parents are the only ones who truly LOVE her and will do anything to help.!
2007-05-25 10:37:19 · answer #3 · answered by leo87 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She shouldn't definetly have a job but I wouldn't make her pay rent or anything just so she can have some responsibility in her life also I would give her a curfew probably with an attitude like that and only 16 10 on weekdays and midnight on weekends she won't like it but its for her safty. If she comes home late she doesn't get to go out the next night or if they see fit the next 5 nights
Good Luck!
Sarah
2007-05-25 10:33:52 · answer #4 · answered by Saerah 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She definitly needs responsibilities.
At home she should have to help around the house and help cook meals occasionally.
She needs to have a curfew and no drugs, alcohol, smoking.
She needs to go to school and have a good attendance record and show signs of improvement. If she isn't prepared to go to school then she must get a full time job.
She must show respect to those in the house and no swearing or bad manners.
And there must be immediate consiquences!
Good luck! x
2007-05-25 16:45:45 · answer #5 · answered by ★☆✿❀ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Chores: wash laundry, dishes, sweep, vaccuume, mow the lawn- necessary skill for the real world and chores are humbling, she is 16 now so she needs to learn now time management and home management
Homework: is completed before friend time, however she can participate in sports or extra curricular activities after school. Atleast one activity/sport is recomended.
She should be out no later than 10pm on a school night and in bed by 11pm. She should be out no later than 11pm on a weekend night.
You must meet all of her friends before letting her go out with them.
Enforce appropriate attire at all times. Check her belongings often for signs of drug use or other unacceptable behavior.
2007-05-25 10:40:18 · answer #6 · answered by marishka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first there seem to be issues with the family as well as with her. I say try to get her some couseling. first thing is that she should attend school everyday no excuses. then she should have chores, a curfew, and demand the she shows you respect and she keeps good grades
2007-05-25 10:48:46 · answer #7 · answered by kiki28_1978 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A curfew, first of all, but also, let her know that you want to be aware of who she is with and what they'll be doing. I know she'll resist, but you're gonna have to start somewhere.
2007-05-25 10:34:10 · answer #8 · answered by Rebecca 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋