Hello, I'm 14 years old, I have been dating my BF since October of last year, and all along the line he purchased gifts for me and all sorts of stuff. He even gave me a $200 ring for Christmas.
I feel like i'm stealing from him. I feel like I have nothing to offer, he's been contributing to the relation but I haven't. Should I show my appreciation with s.e.x?
2007-05-25 00:35:48 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
BTW: My BF is 16.
2007-05-25 00:36:13 · update #1
BTW: My BF is 16.
2007-05-25 00:36:31 · update #2
It's not only gifts, i get picked to go to the mall movies and fancy resteraunts, he pays for them all.
2007-05-25 00:51:43 · update #3
PICKED UP, sorry
2007-05-25 00:52:04 · update #4
ITS ILLEGAL FOR 2 MINORS TO HAVE SEX?
2007-05-25 01:18:04 · update #5
Noooo, dont do it just because you feel bad, because then you will regret it your whole life, give him other things or show him how much you love him, but if you feel like having s e x then its up to you, but you shoudnt do it just because you feel bad, anyway I think you too young.
2007-05-25 00:41:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
I Think. You Are Too Small To Think On This Now.
Dear, In This Age, Every One Will Fall In Love ( Infactuation). And No Surprise You Are In The Situation Now.
I Think Your Boy Friend Is Also Not Matured Enough.
Coming To Your Point.
See Dont Feel That You HAve Not Given Him Any Thing. "You Have Given Him The Whole Hearted Love Of Yours". Which Is Worth More Than 1000 Million Dollars. If Yous Is True Love. Your Man Will Not Expect Anything From You Other Than The True Heart From You.
If You Really Want To Give Him A Present. Give Him The Confident That You Will Not Go Away From Him Ever. So Give Your Confident, Promise, Love To Him.
Finally i Would Like To Add Up Some Thing In This.
As A Friend Am Telling You This. Dont Take Interests Or Steps To Fall Inside A Deep Well.(Hope You Will Understand What I Mean).
All The Very Best For Your Bright Feature.
2007-05-25 01:16:10 · answer #2 · answered by Manikandan Selvam 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No Luv. If he is giving you gifts & such, it should be just because he wants to. Not because he is expecting something for them. You have no reason to feel guilty.
Guilt is one of the worse reasons to have sex. Personally, you are too young to even have a boyfriend, but definitely should not be having sex.
And at 14 & 16, trust me, you are not going to enjoy it. You'll end up going from guilt to remorse. Don't do it sweetheart. You need to realize, he is not going to be your boyfriend forever. As you go through school & hopefully college, you will meet other guys. Guys that will be so much different from him and will interest you. So don't go giving it up just because he spends money. So what.
The fact that you asked this question is proof you don't want to do it. So Don't. And if this becaomes an issue with him, then that would be proof that it definitely is not worth it.
Stay Smart. Focus on being the best you that you can possibly be.
Don't put yourself at risk of pregnancy & disease Luv.
Be strong. Seriously. You're a young woman & there are things in life that you want to achieve. Don't let stupid sex get in the way.
2007-05-25 04:31:22 · answer #3 · answered by Emmy13 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That shows your easy nothing more. You are too young to make such an adult situation. What if you got pregnant? Or an STD? Just because he buys you stuff doesn't mean you need to give him sex. A 200.00 ring is nothing. WAIT and Let him buy you the 6000.00 ENGAGEMENT ring, then make love to him if you chose.
BTW at 14 im 99.9% sure this is not the boy you will marry and grow old with..... wait for Mr right. and mature first.
Who cares if he pays for everything , that's called dating. Its the guys place to pay. Your only 14. You dont trade your body for gifts ever... that's called prostitution.....
Im sorry but no 16 yr old or older boy should be having sex with a girl under 16..................
2007-05-25 00:44:46 · answer #4 · answered by tammer 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No. I dated my husband for 7 years before we actually, Finally, got married. We waited 6 and a half years before having sex. We began dating when I was 15 and he was 16. Yeah it was hard, but we had priorities and we agreed on them. We decided we wanted to try and wait till we got married, not just b/c of religion but b/c we wanted to go to college and finish and not end up with a baby. You first need to make sure your boyfriend is on the same game plan for life before you start giving away big parts of your life. We didn't make it to the wedding as you could tell by the dates. But, by that time we had been engaged for a year and a half and new we were getting married. We did end up having a pregnancy scare about 2 months before the wedding. 1. You need to be ready for all the consequences as well as emotionally prepared. After 7 months you guys are not fully connected and in love. Wait until you guys are connected and you are sure his path involves keeping you. Older guys sometimes are confused themselves. They claim love, you have sex, he gets bored and leaves b/c he's had it all. Also, who says he hasn't had sex w/ someone else. He may have an STD and not know it. You have sex 1 time w/ or w/out a condom and you could get an STD. A life long STD. I know people who made 1 slip up and now deal forever w/ STDs they cant get rid of. I know it is hard, but stop and think first.
2007-05-25 02:57:22 · answer #5 · answered by spongebobrogers 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that sex should be used as compensation for gifts and meals. And you should NOT feel obligated to have sex with him simply because he spends money on you...for many, MANY reasons.
You are young and some will say that you should wait until you're married to have sex. And my hat goes off to those who can wait. But realistically, most people don't. You should wait to have sex until its for the RIGHT reasons - not because you feel that the only way to "pay him back" for all the money he has spent on you. Relationships should not have a monetary value placed on them. You should wait until you are in love with the other person before you give yourself to them physically. And one cannot place a dollar amount on your virginity.
You should also wait until you are old enough and ready to accept the responsibility that comes along with having sex. That means buying birth control and dealing the possibility of becoming pregnant if that birth control either fails, or you fail to use it. That means you need to be ready to deal with having to make a decision about a pregnancy, whether it is keeping it and being a mother and missing out on your entire adolescent life, having an abortion, or putting up for adoption. And when you're that young, there really isn't a "right" choice. They are ALL tough.
Sex isn't only about doing something that feels good. There are a lot of emotions, and there are a lot of consequences that all come part and parcel with having sex. There are STD's out there and you can't tell if someone has one by looking at them. Young girls' self-esteems have been RUINED by having sex for the wrong reasons...I'd hate to think of you becoming one of those girls...
If your boyfriend is pressuring you and trying to make you feel guilty because you HAVEN'T had sex with him, then that is another concern. I hope he isn't making you feel that "if you really cared about him, you'd have sex..." Honey, that ain't the way love goes. He spends money on your willingly and if he does it with only the hopes of getting some play, then he's not the guy for you. Trust me, this won't be the guy you marry. There will be others. If telling your boyfriend "Thank you for dinner..." isn't enough for him, then maybe its time to find someone who doesn't put expectations on you because he paid for your meal. Contrary to what a lot of young guys think, buying dinner and a movie doesn't entitle you to ANYTHING, except a thank you.
Good luck, Hon!
2007-05-25 02:03:36 · answer #6 · answered by ♥♥Mrs SSG B♥♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No there are other ways to show appreciation. You can make him things or pay for some stuff or just grace him with your presence but you don't ever give up your virginity to show appreciation to someone. Sex isn't something that can be used as a gift because unlike actual gifts, you can't take it back. it should be done if you are in love with that person and you are willing to accept the consequences of doing it to begin with because a lot of emotions are involved and once you do it with one person, it complicates stuff and its a very emotional action. Just know what you are doing before you do it and NO don't do it to show appreciation!
2007-05-25 01:38:14 · answer #7 · answered by mr_mrs_spooky 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO, NO, NO!!!! Sex is not a way to show someone you appreciate them. 14 is WAY too young to be having sex. If you don't have money to treat him sometimes then show him your appreciation in other ways. Bake him his favorite cookies or cake or pie. Make him his favorite meal. Paint him a really nice picture. It sounds like he's a nice guy and I don't get the feeling that he is pressuring you for sex. Just enjoy the relationship and don't be in such a hurry to grow up. I promise you, the consequences from sex last much longer than any pleasure it brings. Good Luck.
2007-05-25 01:26:42 · answer #8 · answered by nimo22 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"I feel like I'm stealing from him. I feel like I have nothing to offer, he's been contributing to the relation but I haven't."
You are not stealing from him. There are five main ways to express your love to someone and gift giving is one of those ways and it sounds like that is one of the ways he uses to show appreciation and love for you. If that is the case he gives gifts to others that are close to him like a mom etc.
Love should be a free gift and it is not stealing to accept it. However, having sex with someone out of a feeling of obligation because it seems like they give more to the relationship than you is not a good reason and is not love.
You do add value to each relationship you are in and your value is worth much more than any dollar could buy. You are one of a kind and the things inside of you make you a priceless masterpiece. Please wait. You are worth it and he seems to think the same. There are other ways to say thank you. Look for other ways you can express your gratitude to him.
Some other ways to express love that will show great appreciation are:
2.Words of appreciation- saying things like "You are so sweet." words that build the other person up.
3.Acts of service-doing things like baking cookies for him or planning and preparing a picnic for him.
4. Quality Time-taking the time to really listen to what he is saying or doing his favorite activity with him and enjoying it.
These are much better ways to say thank you because they give to and build him up as a person and add lasting value to your relationship.
I have given you a website to check out that explains these things better : )
2007-05-25 02:30:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you shouldn't. Intercourse shouldn't be for appreciation. It should be for two grown people who love each other, respect each other, and are mature enough to deal with the consequences. Pregnancy and STD's are not something your ready to handle right now. Plus once you do this, there is no turning back. How do you know that this guy isn't buying this stuff in order to make you feel like you should? Wait until your older. you have plenty of time to be an adult.
2007-05-25 00:59:37 · answer #10 · answered by Daybreak 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you like him don't send him to jail(its a bit illegal for your age to intercurse with a 16 years old), so avoid this situation until you get legall and until you want to do this ,not to do it as a reward for what he has done to you.The first time is only onces in your life time so ... wait a while (at least until legal age) and think about this, it will be the first time so it has to be perfect and you need to be in control of when ,where and why. Better wait and think about this step.
2007-05-25 01:16:42 · answer #11 · answered by protheus c 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋