is it a womans purpose to have a child (if they can)? and if they don't are they selfish?

Answer 1

I am going to be extremely unpopular for saying this, but feck it.

I think people who DO have children are selfish. I think that creating a little version of yourself for your entertainment is extremely selfish. I think bringing a child into the world when it's as seriously smegged up as ours is is selfish.

I also think that letting your children grow up without discipline is selfish. Letting them run free to annoy those of us who don't care to be around children is selfish. And having three or four when you can't even afford one is the height of irresponsibility, in my opinion.

Ok, now have fun giving me the thumbs down. It doesn't change a thing.

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You seem to represent the minority opinion, KC. I'm not going to tell you to f**k off though, as I wouldn't want your kids exposed to that sort of language.

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KC, I'll explain this as simply as I can for you. I don't have a problem with children, I have a problem with parents who don't bother to take the time to RAISE their children.

I'm talking about people who can't wait to have a baby (for wotever reason), but then can't be bothered with being parents. Did I ever say that ALL parents and children were like this? No, I did not.

I had thought that this was clear from my original answer.

And for the record, I do not curse, drink, smoke or do any other such things in front of children, or even young adults for that matter.

As for you Christina, find the word ALL in my original answer. It isn't there is it? Don't preach to me about open-mindedness and small-mindedness if you are going to put words into my mouth. You yourself failed to consider the intended meaning of the answer.

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Then it would seem that our only disagreement, KC, would be whether or not such people are actally the minority.

The reason that my answer was generalized is because I believe that such people are not the minority.

Answer 2

Who knows what the purpose of woman (or man) is? It's the old question of the meaning of life isn't it?
The female of the species is designed to carry and give birth to the young, but I don't think there are any moral or legal rules to say a female has to have young!
As for being selfish, I think women who chose not to have babies are fighting against very strong biological urges, and as such must have thought very carefully about their decision.
It's not just a better lifestyle, or feeling that they will not be good parents that influence the decision. We live in a very violent world which is on the downslide at the moment, it is a brave or foolhardy decision to bring children into this world.
I have two children, and would not change my decision if given the chance again, they give me the most joy of anything in my life, they teach me, love me, play with me, let me escape from adulthood, and they are my purpose in life. I am privileged to watch their development and growing awareness of their world.
However, there is not a day goes by when I do not have worries about their future, and what awaits. News stories of child abuse and abduction leave me with nightmares, and there are agonies when it is time to allow the next step towards independence.

Answer 3

I definetly don't think it's being selfish. Look at all of the people out there in 3rd world countries who can't afford food or clothing for their kids. They are the selfish ones for bringing a child into a world like that. Don't have a kid if you can't take care of it, it's that easy. I'm only 20 and yes, I do want kids, but I know right now isn't the right time. I'm too young and I want to have enough money to support myself and my children. It's not a woman's purpose in life and it's most definely not selfish.

Answer 4

As a mother myself I can say that I feel blessed with my little girl. However, I can also say that being a mother is a very difficult role. It is not to be taken lightly and if someone is not ready for that commitment then it is best that they don't have a baby until they are ready. Our baby was (sort of) planned and I still found motherhood extremely hard in those first few weeks. I can't even begin to imagine how I would've coped if I wasn't ready to become a mother. The reality of motherhood really kicks in when they're about 2 weeks old and you're pacing the bedroom at 4am with your baby in your arms because they just won't stop crying. If women choose not to have children then this reality is a pretty harsh set of circumstances to throw them into if they're not ready for it. It's not selfishness at all, just honesty. Motherhood is a pretty full on experience and if you're not sure then I think it's best to steer clear of it until you are sure and you have the support of a loving partner. I've heard women say that they don't want children because they think they are too selfish and I respect this. You can't force motherhood onto people because that is just not fair on either the baby or the mother.

Answer 5

No, it's not a woman's purpose to have children. That is strictly a choice, but if you so choose. Make damn sure the choice you make in a father for that child is committed to fulfilling his purpose as a father and the two of you have the purpose of being the best parents you can possibly be. And if you don't have any children it is definitely not being selfish....

Answer 6

First off, there is nothing wrong with being selfish. It's your life, do with it as you will.
Second, these days having children is more a matter of personal choice. If not, then why claim this to be a 'free' society?
Finally, who cares what others think of you? They don't have to live with your choices, do they? Chose what you feel is best for you.

If you don't want to raise children, then don't. Neither my wife nor I have had children (we're both in our 60s) and our lives are quite fulfilling. Christians will point to the Bible and claim we are supposed to 'go out and populate the world'. But this is a message given to other people many hundreds or thousands of years ago. Surely, god didn't mean for us to overpopulate and kill the earth. Perhaps we should listen to a new message and bring human population under control before we eat all the other life forms on the earth. But, these days, if you claim to have heard god say anything, you're a candidate for the funny farm or a drug rehab program.

Answer 7

It is not for anyone else to suggest or define what anybody's purpose is. I think it is selfish for a woman to have children if she doesn't really want them, because the children will grow up suffering for it.

You and only you as an individual must find, decide and follow what you beleive your purpose to be, whether it's a mother, or a career or both or neither.

Answer 8

No not at all, it is selfish to have a child because you feel you should but not really want it, in the same way , is it mans purpose to sow his seed and are they selfish to not go out impregnating as many women as possible ?? Humans are no longer instinctive animals, society has changed and these things no longer figure in the modern world

Answer 9

being selfish or not is depend on the condition, if a woman ready to have a child, both physically and mentally, don't have marriage problem,etc..... but ignoring it while it's couple also want the child... yes i say it selfish.... imagine how many couples have difficulties in having a child and sometime taking adoption as a 'trigger' way to have their own child,etc..but.... if a woman planning to have a child and see it as a 'must do' thing without any plan to covering child life after birth,... i called it 'stupid' ........ so enjoy your life as a woman, fill your life with happiness,.. too worry with next step you will take is too much,... you will find that moment, a moment that you choose as a moment in having a child or not.. BTW, i have 3 sons,... and happy with it... each time i saw and play with them,..they make me releave all of my problem, especially office problem... so... the decision are yours... beside...if any of the people pointing out to any of the woman who want to have a child as a selfish person,.. it means they also pointing out their mother as a selfish 'mom'...

Answer 10

Biologically it is the womans role to have a child*, and if a woman decides not to have children she is being biologically selfish by depriving the gene pool of the next generation. All organisms exist to reproduce.

Fortunatley we are not stuck with biology to make our decisions for us, and can make choices based on other factors. Such as whether we feel we would make good parents or not, or whether this is a fit world to raise children. We can also choose to foster or adopt.

(*Its the mans biological role to reproduce and support his partner. So men who opt out of that are being biologically selfish as well.)

Answer 11

While in the past this may have been the mindset, with the onset of population booms and these things called equal rights, this is no longer the case. Not having a child makes her no more selfish than a man who decides not to help produce one. It's her body and she should have the right to choose whether or not to become pregnant.