We've been friends for 12 years and her 7 yr old son is so "bad" because she lets him be. He eats whatever he wants (peanut butter cups for breakfast) and is terribly skinny. Her house is nasty. Not messy, NASTY. I know I can do it annonymously but I will also have to be there for her when she cries about it. I've told her what I think but things don't change. Should I just cut her off all together and let the child suffer? Either way, I can't be in her life and witness this any longer. Please help!
2007-05-24 19:57:48 · 28 answers · asked by Nika 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I have helped her clean too many times! I've offered her son some of my soul food. When he says no, she won't make him! I offer advice on so many different levels! She has an excuse for everything.
2007-05-24 21:00:38 · update #1
I understand this is your best friend, but really think about it. What kind of friend are you being by not making your girlfriend be a responsible mother? By not making her be a good mother to her son. More importantly by you not making that phone call you're allowing her to hurt a child. How are you gonna feel if something bad happens to this little boy, when you could have made an annonymous call and prevented it. Bottom line, you shouldn't feel guilty. Your friend can cry on your shoulder all she wants to, and you can just lie, lie, lie. Personally I see nothing wrong with that. I wouldn't be friends with someone who did this to their child especially if I have already addressed the problem to them. You will be doing this child a huge favor, to ignore it is contributing to the abuse.
Your heart is in the right place. Make that phone call. It may actually be a wake up call for your girlfriend and make her clean up her nasty ***!
2007-05-24 20:08:10 · answer #1 · answered by glittereyedg 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe reporting her is alittle hard at this time with out trying alittle intervention first, try when you make your good food, bring the kid some . Try annonymously sending her a letter, stating that you are aware of how she is not taking good care of her son and the NASTY conditon she and her son live in, and if things do not change that a report will be made to Child protective services. I'm quite sure you being her friend, she'll come to you with this, and this will be your oppertunity to discuss the situation with her and then lets hope she'll see the light.
2007-05-24 20:14:54 · answer #2 · answered by buttercup 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you do, you will need to consider that you may destroy these children forever. Child Protective Services does not protect children. They are a corrupt $20 billion per year industry that will put these children in serious danger in a hopelessly broken foster care system that is many times worse than where they are now. I would agree with you if the system operated as they should but they do not. For all the facts to back up what I'm telling you, please visit the site below.
2016-05-17 09:38:37 · answer #3 · answered by lourdes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend can choose to have a nasty house or a clean house or what to eat for breakfast but a chil depends on their parents and if the parent doesnt do anything to help the child then that child would be best getting help from someone who cares. And if saving this child from that kind of life is to turn on a friend then so be it. Dont look at it as betraying a friend but as saving a child from living a life of filth when there is someone out there that will help.
2007-05-24 20:38:01 · answer #4 · answered by Teej 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow girl you are in a tough position. It's sad that she wouldn't take her best friends advice and straighten up her life a bit but some people need a more harsh warning. If child services finds that she really is neglectful she could potentially have her son taken away and that could rest on you for a long time because no one wants that to happen. But, maybe the best thing would be a sort of intervention. Does she have any other friends or family who could talk to her. Walkin away is definitely not the right thing to do, she needs people like you in her life to help her out and make her see what she's doing wrong but just get others to support your cause. Good luck!!
2007-05-24 20:02:24 · answer #5 · answered by citygurl8503 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
As a friend, try counseling her and letting her know her lifestyle is not good for her child.
I know this maybe too much for most people but try helping her clean up a bit and give her tips on nutrition. Don't come off as if you're telling her how to raise her kid, cause i'm sure she'll hate that. Be kind and friendly in this process of change for the better.
In the end if she doesn't change, report the biitch.
Kids come first, they're our future.
2007-05-24 20:56:39 · answer #6 · answered by HaLF_BaKeD123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
any time any one makes a report to child services its antonyms no child deserves to live in a nasty home and peanut butter cups for breakfast is terrible but not considered abuse in any way and as for him being skinny some kids are just that way but making the report that hes living in a messy home if child services sees that he is unhealthy he will be removed imediately do the best for the child not the mother she has a choice in how she is living the boy does not
2007-05-24 20:09:02 · answer #7 · answered by mommyofanangel06 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
since you're emotional about it, tell someone else to make the report for you so that you don't feel as guilty. Which ever way you choose that child needs to get the heck out of that nasty environment immediately. And depending on your relationship with your Friend, you might want to end it. Having you around wont help her clean up her act. She needs someone other then you to tell her how disgusting her lifestyle is. She obviously doesn't take your words of advice seriously since she knows the kind of Friend that you are. You're too kind to her and it needs to stop if she isn't changing anything around there!!!!!!!!
Good luck
2007-05-24 20:11:16 · answer #8 · answered by bEiNg DiScIpLiNeD 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow! I can't even imagine how you feel being in the situation you are in but if I were this is what I would do:
In your situation I would first talk to the girl about it nicely and encourage her to pay attention to the child's habits. Direct her toward being a better mother through leading by example. If you are concerned, take the initiative to teach the child mannors and good eating habbits yourself while you are in front of your friend. If she still fails to take your advice I would contact cps. If you dont, who knows where the childs may end up. Contacting them and explaing the situation clearly may not cause the child to be taken away from her, but teach her to tend to her child.
2007-05-24 20:11:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
the peanut butter for breakfast isnt a good enough reason to call about(poor mothering skills yes), as for as the nasty house you only really know how bad it is bcause if its not terrible theyll probably come and check it out and tell her to clean up for her kids sake b4 leaving. if u feel like ur gonna be guilty for doing it u probably need to distance yourself from her. alot of parents dont like ppl criticizing them about their kids or life.
2007-05-24 20:22:07 · answer #10 · answered by Dee M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋