Was I wrong in what I did ?

Question

Yesterday I stopped to help a woman, about 25 years old, not very attractive, who had a flat tire and a flat spare tire. I immediately got out of my truck and grabbed my tank of compressed air. I walked up to her and asked if she needed some air for her spare. She said yes, and then I noticed she had a bumper sticker that said "women who seek only to be equal to men lack ambition". I asked her if it was her car and she said yes. I replied that I came prepared, why didn't she ? Aren't you ambitious enough ? I turned around and left. She gave me the finger as I drove off. I ignored it.

I kinda felt bad later, like I should have helped her even if she is sexist, but I really just couldn't go through with being the man performing the man's role for a woman who refuses hers !

I sincerely hope she gives it some thought, but probably not. She likely will just hate men more because I held her accountable for her actions.

Beril, obviously she took it seriously enough to put it on her car. People mean what they say in bumper stickers. Her bumper sticker speaks volumes about what she thinks. Do you think she just grabbed the first one she saw and put it on her car ? People don't do that. I have had only one bumper sticker on my car, when I was a teen I had one that said "If you get any closer I'll fart", that is a silly bumper sticker. This would qualify as "who takes those seriously", not hers.

By my "manhood" are you saying that I should have "rescued" her ? Isn't that a sexist implication ? You asked what her role is ? I say it is to not be a b*tchy princess female !

Those of you making note of the statement "not very attractive" are completely missing the point. She was "not very attractive" before I decided to stop, but I still stopped didn't I ? That is the point. I made note of the fact that she was not very attractive to help understand where she is coming from. Most feminists are "not very attractive".

Baba Yaga (gaymalkin) go back to your Celine Dion marathon !

Also keep in mind, this was the middle of the day, and clear weather, and it was next to a pretty busy roadway. I was the only person who had stopped in the time it took her to get her spare tire out.

I knew that she was not stranded.

BUT, I was the one to stop. Many passed her before and after me, probably most of them were women.

Also, how many women stop to help men ? ? ? Or is that sexist ? ? ?

Oh, and yes, most feminists are unattractive, it really is just redundant to say so.

Stormsinger, you said: "Why should it be a man's job to stop and help? Why should it be a woman's job to be helpless?"

and

"I always pick up female hitchhikers because I worry about them, alone out there."

You contradict yourself. You say why should it be a woman's job to be helpless YET you see them as needing your help more than men ? ? ? Seems like you should listen to your own advice.

Oh, and I am carefull, I keep a 45 auto pistol on the left side of the drivers side for quick access and to prevent a possible hostile from taking it from me.

Also you said you carry in your car fix a flat. Just a word of advice from someone who has LOTS of experience with cars and tires especially. Don't use that stuff. It doesn't work very well and makes a mess inside the tire that the GUY at the tire repair shop has to deal with. Use tire plugs if you have to, use the strips that look like beef jerky not the rubber plugs, they leak, until you can get it repaired properly.

Answer 1

I haven't read anyone elses answers yet, but when I started reading your story, I thought it was a really nice, chivalrous thing to do. I can understand though why you'd be offended at this womans bumper sticker though.
I would be offended as well if the situation was reversed and a guy who had a bumper sticker putting down women on his car needed help of some sort, I think I'd give him a bit of a cheeky mouthful as well, but would've helped him out anyway, but I guess that's just up to the person.
Call me a meanie. But, ladies, if we want to be treated well by the opposite sex and get respect, then we need to lift our game and not act in such an arrogant manner. Sometimes the feminist message is taken too literally by a few women.
If there were bumper stickers promoting how men are better than women, there'd be an uproar.
If we want equality, we have to treat men equally as well, not better than them.

Answer 2

I'm a late-comer with my answer, so I don't know if you'll get to it, but I had a related experience a few years ago. It was after ten at night, raining and I was on my way home from a friends house. I noticed along the way that I had a flat tire. Now, I was 20 years old and had been on my own for three years, so I was used to taking care of things myself. I was raised by a single dad who taught me how to change a tire, my oil, basic things like that. So, I got out of my car, got the jack, blah, blah, blah. I didn't think to call someone else to do it. I didn't have AAA at the time and it was raining cats and dogs, so I just wanted to be safely on the road again. I was just sliding the spare on when two men approached and asked if I needed help. I was almost done so I politely said no. They called me a mean name and walked off! Now I've thought often about that situation and it really hurt my feelings at the time. I was just changing a tire in the rain and wanted to go home to my bed. What did I do wrong?

I think sometimes we read into the actions of others without stopping to think. Sometimes an act is just an act- I didn't change my own tire as a statement against men. I was a 20 year old kid! But those guys were mad at me. For what it's worth, since you went into this area, I was a pretty girl and have always been told I was feminine and attractive, I can't see where it has affected my life one way or another. I still got called a mean name.

Sometimes a tire is just a tire and a dumb bumper sticker is adumb bumper sticker. Nothing more. I'm sorry that person offended you.

Answer 3

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Answer 4

Why should it be a man's job to stop and help? Why should it be a woman's job to be helpless? You did wrong. You should've helped her because she was a PERSON; not because she was female. Leaving her stranded shows that you're not really very caring at all.

I've helped many people stranded on the side of the road (both male and female). I always pick up female hitchhikers because I worry about them, alone out there.

I carry in my car the following:

-A first aid kit
-Fix-a-flat
-A tire jack
-Jumper cables

AND I know how to use all of them properly.

I've had several friends give me a call when they have flat tires, because they know that I am prepared and know what I'm doing.

Answer 5

if you did it because of the sticker, it definitely shows how you reacted, you have made your point and she will include you among the others, however, don't see any reason for you to feel bad about it, after all what you did, you thought it right, and what are doing now is after thought, that is way it is always better not to take any action without a little bit of thinking. the best you would have done is to ask her after helping her out, but you make a wrong decision, it could also be a possibility that she isn't the one who stick the sticker on her car. The best for you next time is to assist without paying attention to such things.

Answer 6

You were wrong in leaving her there. I don't say that because she was a woman and you were a man. But she was a person in need of assistance and it would have been the right thing to do. Regardless of her bumper sticker and her thoughts about equality (or lack of) between men and women, we was willing to accept your help. That's sometimes not an easy thing to do. I can say this. Over the years, I've stopped to help many people stranded on the side of the road, both men and women. I will stop if I know it's safe for me. This day and age, you have to be so careful.

I have never considered myself a feminist, but rather, a humanist. Neither men nor women are better than the other. We each have stronger characteristics that are meant to compliment each other, not to put each other down because of.

Answer 7

The way I see it you started out right, the intentions were all there, until you saw her bumper sticker; some bell rang in your mind, understandably so and her giving you the finger as you were driving away spoke volumes of just exactly where she stood; had you mentioned she had a hurt look on her face I would be speaking differently; however you did not. A person's actions dictates what lies in their soul, as well as the eyes are the window to a person's soul. If this women and others like her are going to hate men it is not because of you or any other man; it is done because it enables their role as the victim; that's the card they've been using all of this time, sad part is everyone always feels sorry for the victim, even when they are faking it and or are very clearly in the wrong. Pretty hefty the victim card.

Answer 8

Right on brother you did the right thing. I had an argument with my sister who wanted to be a fire "woman", and complained that the test was to physical.. Living in NYC at the time and knowing that all those fire "men" look so delicious, I said. In case of a fire do you want to be saved or thrown off the ladder. Then she realized that only men have the strength to be real fire fighters.

And Yes I would always accept help from a man when my car in in distress.

Answer 9

Misogyny is a mental disease. In your first sentence, you pointed out that she was "not very attractive". Why would that make any difference? I'm a nurse and I should give CPR only to the good looking guys? Wait. Are you saying that I should only save the lives of guys if they agree with my beliefs? That's sick. Your "mommy issues" got in the way of whatever good character you might have displayed in helping another human being, regardless of his or her beliefs. If you feel like you "taught her a lesson" of some perverted sort, you are wrong. You were vicious in your own way and you poured nothing good into the bucket of humanity with this one. Every good action that we do makes this a better world. Every vicious, petty act sours the brew. You only made men look bad. And, her bumper sticker in no way put men down. It was only an inspiration for women to believe that they can someday get paid as much for the same work as a man. What's wrong with that? What's wrong with that is not a woman aspiring for equality, but that she has to live in a world where men lack the decency and guts to pay a woman right.

Answer 10

I guess it's not "wrong," per se... you may have stood up for what you believe in, if you really think that a woman's role is just to always seek help from men. But then I would say you are wrong to believe that men and women are expected to perform different roles, and that we should just accept the roles that society has defined according to each gender.

And your argument implies that in order to be ambitious, you have to be prepared? Does that really make any sense? The bumper sticker was probably just a cheeky way of saying that although women have been oppressed throughout history - by men like yourself and by women alike - we should still strive for greatness, and perform great deeds like so many men have accomplished. It's not that being ambitious doesn't require help from other people from time to time. Helping those in need is just the humane thing to do.

I hope you give that some thought.