Should I tell one of my best friends his wife is turning into a whore?

Question

I have a friend that I've known for 28 years, he married one of my best girl friends that I've known for 20 years. She has been sleeping with old boyfriends, her professors and strangers for the past 8 months. She has never told me about any of these affairs, but we have a mutual friend that has told me everything, her ex boyfriend also told me he's been seeing her. I am so disappointed in her, this has really hurt our friendship even though she doesn't know that I know. I want to tell her husband sooo bad because she's wrong, he's a good guy and I feel like my loyalty should be to him because I've known him longer. I know if he found out it would really hurt him but I think it's wrong not to say something.

Answer 1

Tread lightly, cause the situation is not an easy one. It can turn around and bite you in the butt. It's honorable that you want to protect your friend, but I think this is a situation where you should not get in the middle. You're friends to both parties involved, and one way or another, someone is going to get hurt, and you wouldn't want to be standing in the middle of all that drama. Why not be the passive friend, and just be there if either one needs to talk.

Of course this is JMHO.

Answer 2

This is one of those tough situation where if you did tell him, he wouldnt belive you and he would be mad at you. At least thats how a majority of situations like this have turned out for others. I still think the decent and honorable thing is to tell him. Or you could confront the girl and let her know that you know and tell her if she doesnt tell him, you will tell him. That way your putting the responsiblity on her.

If you do that, you may wish to take a tap recorder with you so that you can secretly tape the conversation, In a desperate attempt to save her onw butt, she may accuse you of being inappropriate toward her and tell her husband and he may belive her.

Love does crazy things to people.. and even though he's your friend he may be inclined to belive her over you because.. beliving that she's cheating is something he will not want to belive.

Goodluck dude

Answer 3

If she really was mad at you for calling her a whore she would be giving you the silent treatment mate. Sounds to me like she's gone classic damage control and reversed the situation. The 100's of texts back this up as she's desperate for you to apologise so she can stop worrying about what she did herself. She's essentially trying to paint you out as being the bad guy. Don't fall for it. Stand your ground and be a man, she'll either admit she was in the wrong in which case you immediately apologise. Or, she'll keep at it, in which case give her an ultimatum, she explains or you're leaving. Sorry to hear about it man, sometimes woman really do treat us like ****.

Answer 4

Yes, tell your friend for his own safety. If this girl has been sleeping with tons of people, then there's a chance that she has an STD that could be deadly. Any man would want to know if their wife is cheating on them, and since you've been friends for 28 years theres almost no chance he will be angry at you, he may even thank you.

Answer 5

I always say innocent till proven guilty! first did you see your friend out with these old boyfriends and ect? you heard stories from other people,some times people like to talk alot of smack.i understand that you feel for this person because of what is all going on,the thing is if you tell whats going on what somebody told you.this will make you look bad in his eyes, to come out so strongly about it .you can say people have been talking and you heard these terrible rumors about your friend cheating on him,there for the seed has been in planted in his head and he will take the action of finding out about this.your friendship will be saved that way with no hard feelings.everybody gets caught sooner or later.

Answer 6

Don't tell him, he would not believe you anyway. You would lose a good friend that way. Take it from someone who lost a good friend that way. If you really want to do something to help, talk to his wife. Tell her that the rumors are flying and that you do not want to see your friend hurt. Tell her that if she is unhappy in her marriage, she needs to talk to her husband, not sleep with other guys.

You can't make her do anything, but maybe it will make her realize that her husband is going to find out soon anyway.

Answer 7

Yes you should tell him, its the right thing to do. Hurting is the least of his worries. If it was you, wouldn't you want someone to tell you? I know I would! One suggestion would be to write down everthing you know so that when you talk to him you dont forget anything and its more real to him that way. Good Luck, Swequin

Answer 8

think of it this way, if the love of your life was cheating on you, would you wanna know, go through the hurt and then divorce? or never know and maybe never get hurt? i dont know what i'd want, i think i'd wanna know the truth myself. I hate the unfaithful so i'd honestly sit him down and tell him slowly. Bring your mutual friend as well for back up on info... and if he gets mad lol. good luck

Answer 9

be careful but i would talk to his wife. C if she will go and talk to your mate, her husband about this situation. Dont just dump her in it by telling him. But make her aware that you want to tell your mate /her husband what is going on. Maybe there is more to the story as well, maybe there are other issues which im sure there isif she is doing this to him

Answer 10

I really think you should tell him, because regurdless of what happens, he will eventually find out and he will ask you if you know anything about it and since you are good friends with his wife he will be upset. I think you are saving him by telling him the truth, cause i think it be worse if he doesn't know and is still with her and her cheaitng behind his back.