My wife and I have been seperated for 9 months. The first 7 we were very cordial, hanging out, doing the married people things. We have 2 kids that have never understood (3&7). She always wanted to come home and I wanted her home but we could never talk about it. It always had to be a yes or no answer right on the spot. Finally 2 months ago I agreed to go to counseling and try and make it work. She asked me on a date but I had to work early and couldnt go out. That night she went home with another man and ever since that she has been very angry and verbally insulting towards me. 2 weeks after they met she had him hanging around the kids who still dont understand exactly what is going on. She has been lying to me about the kids and her "relationship." She has filed for divorce and I decided to go along with her proposal. Now that I have that is not good enough either. She tells me she has feelings for me and still cares a great deal for me but just cant be married.
2007-05-24 16:42:20 · 15 answers · asked by dstork40 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There should be no games in marriage, but sadly there often is. I would just worry about your children and less about saving what might not be worth saving at this point.
2007-05-24 16:48:15 · answer #1 · answered by Mama2Emma 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if you love her and can forgive her (and she you)you have to do a great deal of talking,weather its just you 2 or with a marriage counselor, i have been in the same situation and we didn't communicate we just did what we thought was right but walking completely around the issues that put us their to begin with,we were doomed from day 1, 2 months later we were sitting across the table with our attorneys fighting over issues that we should have dealt with while we were separated,if you really love each other you have to be able to talk to each other and clean all the slates before trying again,good luck to the both of you, you really have your work cut out for you,but if you do get all skeletons out of the closet you will have and long loving marriage, and someone you wont ever mistrust anymore
2007-05-25 00:03:22 · answer #2 · answered by robby h 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She wants the best of both worlds. To be with this guy and still have you kissing her booty and trying to get her back. She filed, has another man around your kids, LEAVE. Will you get over that if you do get back together? Best to cut off contact with her except about the kids.
2007-05-24 23:53:59 · answer #3 · answered by mimi s 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is just toying with you to see if you will run every time she says jump. Give her what she wants obviously she doesn't know herself. Whether you give her a divorce or not and she won't be satisfy she wants you to come to her and ry to stop her and work things out, but think about your kids and if shs is lying to you what do you think she may tell the kids about you two.
2007-05-24 23:55:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry to hear. I would still try to work it out!! You owe it to God, her, yourself, the kids. Have you tried praying for her and standing in the gap for her? I would do that.
Ask God to bring restoration in your marriage, show her the man she is losing. Try and find out her Love Lanuage and show it to her. (Gifts, Time, Touch, Service, words of confirmation). Everyone has one, some like all. Women are big on love to as you men are on respect, that should help.
Other than that, Pray, Pray, Pray. I hope this helped you some.
2007-05-24 23:58:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like she wants her cake and eat it too...
She wants that closeness with U and the kids as a family..
But she also wants to be single and enjoy that life..
Id say let her go it would be best for U and the kids in the long run... Best WISHES
2007-05-24 23:55:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Please, you sound like the mature on, dont let the children see hear or think you are fighting, leave them out of it. they arent pawns .
yes she is wrong to have the other man around the kids so soon,
However be honest, you cant share her either.
the anger she is exibiting is "displaced" she sounds as if she is angry at herself.
Go slow, but remember the kids.
2007-05-25 01:18:23 · answer #7 · answered by Ken W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry for you . There is probable no right or wrong answer for what you should do ,follow your heart. but you definitely need to sit down and try to explain this to your kids in a way not to hurt them maybe some counseling for them may be in order
2007-05-24 23:54:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Accept that it's over. She's with someone else. I think she should have better sense than to bring a new man around the kids so soon. Get a lawyer.
2007-05-24 23:50:59 · answer #9 · answered by mamabear 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
well I am not a counselor but in my years of marriage and parenthood I will never never put a job before my family or marriage it is just a job do plan on staying at your job till you retire pro bally not no one does that anymore meet with her and talk with her without her boy-toy around if it does not work out stay friends with her don't say bad things about her in-front of the kids their brains are like little magnets and they love to repeat things
2007-05-24 23:56:24 · answer #10 · answered by Fergie 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋