Married to my best friend......everything is great except for our sex?

Question

I am truly lucky man because I married to my best friend. My wife and I have been married for just under two years and I love her so much. Unfortunately our sex life is just not there, it never has been. I did marry a virgin. So I am her only experience. Me, I well I have been around the block a couple of times. Sex used to be so great. Now it seems like a chore. I get little pleasure out of it. I miss the fire, the passion, the explosiveness, and the sound of climatic screams. There are days I shamefully lust for other women. I wish I had never experienced the joys of sex. I need suggestions. Please!

Answer 1

how about taking her away for a weekend in a 5-star hotel or something.

nothing gets a woman in the mood faster than an expensive hotel room and room service.

Answer 2

Maybe, you need to find the passion in ur relationship. Ur making this worse then it has to be. I mean u married a virgin that should be something special to u. Take her out or better yet what u should do is get her a lingerie to wear and make a romantic dinner at home with a lil'wine and what not and just let it go from there. Don't get her a toy or any pornos.But maybe u guys should expermint sexual things like fore-play and kamu-sutra you know different sexual positions that u both will enjoy. So that way the both of u learn and teach each other. So that way ur love will grow mutually. Me and my fiance went and bought a poster from Spencers I don't know if in ur city u have one but the poster is called"The Periodic Table of Sex" it shows u different sexual positions and let me tell u when the both of u learn together it makes it all the better. Then as time progresses u will get better at it. Just be patient, and find that passion. Just please don't go cheat on her......that would be the worst mistake ever. Just like I said try new things that may not be new to u but if she's a virgin they will be to her. I wish u all the best in ur relationship.

Answer 3

>>I wish I had never experienced the joys of sex<<

Really?? LOL!!

MAN UP there, buddy.

What about >>"I miss the fire, the passion, the explosiveness, and the sound of climatic screams"?? Sounds like you wished you were right back THERE instead.

I think you would rather your wife DID experience the joys of sex instead of denying it to you UNLESS you married her first. Right?? Is it not infinitely better to be with a woman who KNOWS how to be pleased and provide pleasure in return?

Personally, I would rather have a girl who had 400 men in her life and knew that I was the HER FAVORITE, rather than a woman who had no clue.

Im sorry, I cannot respect a woman who withholds sex from the man she "says" she "loves" UNLESS he marries her first.... buys her a ring.... makes a vow to GOD and everyone... and must be prepared to sign 1/2 of his life and future (and 1/2 his fortune in case it doesn't work out) away in oder to legally make her his lover. Women CONTINUALLY get away with a making men jump through BIG hoops for sex and sexual affection, and the men let them get away with it????

More often than not, the trouble we men are expected to go through just to get some nookie, is just not worth it. Why do you think PORN and PROSTITUTION are so popular???

She put a price on her inexperienced p------ and you aggreed to pay it. Was it worth it? Thats something only you can decide. I find in interesting that she is not remotely interested in give you the "the fire, the passion, the explosiveness, and the sound of climatic screams" which you obviously dont want to live without.

Your "sex life is just not there" because you always allowed it to be like that. She didn't have to provide sex before so why should she now? You didn't make it a requirement for yourself to be content... and now look.

The fact is you married a virgin. And it was OK with you to do so. There's very little you can do to complain about it now except identify the root of the problem and fix it.

When will women learn ..... if they will please their man INSIDE the bedroom they are more likely to find a man who is prepared to please them OUTSIDE the bedroom.... which is EXACTLY WHY she married you in the first place!

MEN --> Dont let a woman get away with thinking she can withhold your most basic needs, desires and pleasures from you, but expect so many FROM YOU in return. That's called "putting a price on it".

And there's a word for that , you know.

Answer 4

First off LEAVE THE OTHER WOMEN ALONE! If you mess up on her you not only loose a spouse, you loose your best friend.
Now, with that out of the way, you can't undue the past, so you can't forget the joys of past relationships. If she is truly your best friend, I'm betting she wants your sex life together to be as good as it can be for both of you. Best friends want the best for each other. If she was a virgin, she had no experience in things sexual before you. You've got to teach her the joys of an intimate relationship. I'm not saying porn per se, but there are instructional books you can get to help the two of you progress together. First off start by sitting your best friend down, and telling her you need more. Not accusingly, or hurtfully. Just tell her you need to experiment more, and enlist her in the process. I'll bet she will be timid at first, but as you grow together, and experiment and find things you both like, you'll have all the fun you need, and help her to enjoy herself more too. It'll only increase the overall intimacy of your marriage, and therefore its health.

Answer 5

There are pros and cons to marrying your best friend. I've been there and done that. I noticed that when you're really great friends with someone for a long time, you tend to get used to their company. She may still hold you to the standards as she did when you guys were just friends. It's hard to explain, but I'll try anyway! *ahem, here I go* When I meet someone for the first time and they're in a relationship, I'll immediately cut off any chance of developing feelings for them. I'll become great friends, but I will suppress all intimate feelings. Boundaries are drawn. But, once that person is available to take it to the next level, it's a little awkward for me because I established all the "just friends" boundaries. It'll take time. If you love her, then talk to her about how you feel. She may just have difficulty opening up to you on such an intimate level. Perhaps you kind try roleplaying where she can dorn a sexy mask of some sort and let her inhibitions go wild. Hope it all works out.

Answer 6

Don't fret....it can be fixed....if she is willing.

Congrats on marrying your best friend...that's the most important thing.

I'm not sure what you mean by "it's never been there" do you mean attractiveness? Or just the flames of passion?

First of all....have you told your wife how you feel and what you would like for her to do or act? If you haven't please do so....she won't know until you tell her, and teach her. Don't be afraid of teaching her a few things. I think that if you told her in a nice way that your wanting to spice things up that she would be receptive. Tell her that you need some passion, screams, and shameless lust. Kind of make a game out of it...ya'll try something new every week, etc.

If you have tried to talk to her and that hasn't helped, how about a sex therapist?

Your wife needs to learn to let her sex kitten out...it's in there...
she either to bashful or afraid, or has some hang up about letting loose. Were her parents real uptight? Can you see them getting wild? ha-ha :O)

Upbringing, especially a very religious upbringing can screw up someone's sex life, it did mine until I went to therapy.

Hug her and tell her how much you love her. Let her know that you love being with her sexually and are ready to take it to a new level. Try not to say anything to put her down...keep it positive.

You gotta take a step...if you don't you may find yourself committing adultry someday if an attractive woman came on to you.....if your not happy at home....it's very easy to stray.

You may have to hurt her feelings a little bit....letting her know that you need for her to loosen up, teach her what you want. If she truly loves you she will listen and be willing to change things.

Good luck~

Answer 7

Well first off you are not abnormal at all. sometimes women grow a little sour on sex with their mates and the mates still want that wild fire they once had. It's only normal. But have you ever asked yourself if she may be thinking the same way about you? Maybe you need to. It does not matter if she was a virgin when you first got with her. Sex is a natural thing and it comes natural to two people in love. You need to make your lady feel like she is still the most prettiest girl in the world, you need to make her feel secure, you need to let her know that sex is not the most important thing for you at all and you want her to be happy first, After all this has been done then, and only then do you need to make your move on your wife so that once again you to, can hear her feel passion when you make love to her. So go for it! God Bless you and her also!

Answer 8

Wait a minute I am having hard time understanding why you married someone that the sex life wasn't that great from the get go- that has to be there or you won't be happy. You can't marry someone and change them If it wasn't there before then how would it be any different after marriage? Maybe you need to romance her and make her feel wanted, needed, loved in other ways too and it will lead to that- i ain't sure, that's the best I got

Answer 9

All the responses about sex toys seems a little odd. Virgins are not expected to have all this experience that they would be open to this type activity. My suggestion is to try to reconnect simply through holding and touching without the expectation of sex. Of course this has to be sincere without the thought of manipulation. This is an act of love and showing her you simply love her presence and her touch. Maybe then she will be a little more open to talk about how she feels if you let her know you love her and not just your pleasure through sex. Good luck. Love and marriage are not always easy or simple.

Answer 10

Have you tried adding to your sex life? Like dirty movies or toys or talking about fantasies . You could tell her one of yours and then have her tell you one of hers. Then one night agree to fulfill one of hers . If you are the only one then she may need to be shown other ways to enjoy sex and have fun. There is nothing wrong with wanting to add spice to your love making just make her feel wanted and let her know that you just want to make things better for her and show her a little excitement. If she does not know what you want then she can not do it. A night of dirty movies and candles and back rubs could end in a great night of sex. Tell her and show her what you want and maybe she will do the same.

Answer 11

Sounds like you need to find a way to awaken your wife's passion. Maybe you should try the whole royal treatment. Dinner, candlelight, soft music, the whole big romantic production. It's possible that since you've had more experience you're not following a path she expected and as a result she's not quite getting into it. Take it slow and try to find what she wants.

Good luck.