I CHEATED ON MY HUSBANd?

Question

i had sex with another man and now i think i might be pregnant!!! when and how do i tell my spouse? this is not a joke so please dont answer with any thing that would hurt me. thank you.

Answer 1

You have to tell him now.
Then at least you have the option of termination (depending on your beliefs in that area) and most importantly if he is a forgiving person.
You MUST do it NOW. In the long run it is best.

Answer 2

Before you go spilling the beans , find out if you are pregnant.
If you are, you need to decide whether you will keep the baby or abort it. The question is do you want to be married to him? Do you feel remorse? Is he a caring understanding guy? Because if he is maybe your marriage can survive this. If not be prepared for a rough time. I had a long term affair, that eventually lead to me wanting a divorce. It's not always greener on the other side. There's no easy or nice way to tell a spouse you messed around with someone else. If you love him and want to stay married to him, you may have to take some emotional backlash from him. It's only to be expected.
You should seek counseling, You have blown his trust in you and it will take time to regain it. People that have affairs, should have a plan for what if. But, they are usually too caught up in the moment. Would your affairee help you out if needed?
Good Luck!

Answer 3

This all depends on which choice you may live "happy" no matter what the outcome.
1. Are you willing to tell your spouse you a) cheated and b) you are expecting the other man's baby.
2. Are you willing to accept your husband's requests; a) divorce, b) give the baby up for adoption, c) have an abortion
3. Hopefully, the other man is willing and free to commit to you, and the baby.
4. The baby did not choose his/her parents. It should at least have the right to "live."
You made a mistake, which at the time you did not think clearly of the "consequences." You were married, and now the truth will hurt everyone involved.

You requested for no replies that would "hurt" you, but I'm sorry if you are not willing to hear the "truth." Because, the truth is, "cheating" is only being in "denial" of your own deep feelings.

If you care and love someone, you will not find the need to be in someone else's arms. If you are in love, you will always have your loved one's "best interest" in mind. Anything less, is not "love." Love is not just a four letter word you say, every now and then, love is what we are capable of doing and enduring, love never dies, even if our loved one ceases to exist.

JIL

Answer 4

Isn't it wonderful how many people here have
never made a mistake.... but then again I guess
that just shows the mentality of some perfect
adolescent idiots !
Look, you messed up and you know it....but,
it isn't the end of the world....but it might be
something you'll have to live with for the rest
of your life !!
I'm not here to make judgment on your
actions ( or on you ), but you first need to
know for sure whether you are or are not pg .
IF you're not, then may I suggest counselin
because obviously something is wrong in your
relationship.
IF you are....... then you'll have to talk to your
husband and pray that, after the hurt and anger,
he might forgive you and decide to take the child
as his own........ but you won't be trusted again
for a long time ( something you'll have to live
with ).
But, if your husband decides to leave you.... then
obviously you'll have to start think of your future
with a child as a single mother.
Best of luck !!!!

Answer 5

you broke your vows, you excepted another man into your body and i'm sure that your husbands heart is going to be broke when he finds out what you did .and all you can think of is for us not to say some thing mean about you so your feelings don't get hurt.i mean come on don't you think you deserve a little chastisment from someone cheating is not something that happens by accident it is something that is done on purpose with fore thought and the fact that you had unprotected sex with someone other than your husband. how much would it hurt your husband to go to the dr.and find out he has some fatale S.T.D. what if you ended up with aids how much would that hurt you.i'm sorry i have no sympathy for you and you should not come to somewhere like yahoo answers and think that you can find an easy quick way out there is none.if you want to make your marriage work(but you haven'tsaid that in your post have you) break it of with you stuff on the side and keep your mouth shut if your concience bothers good it should but your husband shouldn't have to pay the penalty for your indescretion its one thing to cheat ,a man might forgive that but then to find out that a child was concieved from that affair a little reminder every time he looks at the baby and if you have to clear your soul then there is realy only one way to tell him and that is to tell him that you cheated and that you might be prgnant and that the baby might not be his.

Answer 6

If you are then you need to tell him there is a chance your baby might not be his. What if he finds out down the road, it would break his heart. It's not fair to hold this information from him. You can't let him get attached to this child not knowing the truth. You can't let him love this child like it was his own even if there wasn't the slightest possibility he may find out. Anything could happen... what if this man you cheated with wants to know if he's the daddy, what if you and your hubby get in a fight and you blurt it all out, Lord forbid if your baby ever needed serious medical attention that only you or your husband could help. How do you think he would feel then... your the one who played, now it's time to pay the piper!!

Answer 7

Well alright you cheated. Couple things to consider. First do you have remorse for straying. Let's assume your gut is torn up over this event. Next it is not fair to lead a man to believe they are the father of a child that is not theirs. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Besides down the road the gods will get even if you should chose to deceive. So don't bother. Frankly I think honesty is the best policy and take you consequences sooner than later. The worst that can happen is your husband makes his own decision not to continue in his primary companionship relationship with you. That is for him and only him to decide. You have your own work to do. Like why would you do this in the first place. Once you have that identified that misguided purpose set out to be a better you in the future.

Answer 8

You need to tell your husband and brace yourself for a divorce. It's the best thing. The trust is gone. He will never ever trust you again. What made you cheat on your husband? Was the other guy really attractive? I guess there can be some good out of this. You will move on with your life, hopefully with the man who impregnated you, since you have feelings for that guy. And you have a new baby. Congrats.

Answer 9

No abortion as some has mentioned. Why compound the first mistake by making another? I think that you have to tell your husband ASAP. Men love to brag and who knows who and how many friends of the other man know about this? It is much better for your husband to hear it from you than somewhere else. tell him ,beg for forgiveness,promise to never ever do anything like this again and hope for the best.
Can't believe that you wanted us to not say anything that will hurt YOU. What do you think this is going to do to the man that you stood before men and God and promised to be his and only his???

Answer 10

You're right, this is no joke! You have to fess up to your husband and do it immediately. If you feel some shame in this and feel sorry for your husband, then you need to tell your husband that you have something terrible to say to him that you know will hurt him. Tell him that you feel that he deserves to know the truth that you have been unfaithful and now you fear you might be pregnant. When your husband speaks or vents his anger, you need to keep your mouth shut. The only decent thing to do at this point is be honest! Adding dishonesty to your already deceptive behavior will just make it worse.

Answer 11

You need to tell your spouse the truth as soon as possible and how you do it is for one face to face. You are sure in a predicament now. I don't feel bad for you since I feel that is the very worst thing that a woman can do to her husband. You will of course have consequences to pay. Just hope and pray that your husband is a very good and understanding man. I sure hope that you learn a valuable lesson from this. You sure do need God in your life I can tell you that much.