My brother keeps throwing things at me, bad mouth me and denies it when I get on him about it. His reply, "I didn't even do anything. Iwas walking by." Then he tells me to shut up. His constant abuse is defended by his mommy by telling me to ignore him. Friends say the same thing, saying by ignoring it he'll get tired of it when there's no reaction and then he'll stop. stop. BS!!!! He keeps doing it because it's being allowed. I tried to ingnore it, but it just goes on and one. How can I get my point across that such behavior shouldn't be tolerated? I, personally think part of it is fear. They're afraid to say anything 'cause the abuse I get will happen to them.
You'll put a stop to a child when one's out of line, so why put up with it from older kids and adults?
2007-05-24 13:04:11 · 7 answers · asked by Heyjay 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I do stand up for myself and they resent it. I can't get him to talk about it. He's a compulsive lier and refuses to be the same room with me. If he's in another part of the house and sees me, he storms off. When I take a stand, my mom tells me to knock it off. We're both adults, so the police won't do anything. They feel other crimes are more important.. I haven't moved out because of my learning disorder ( read some of my other questions and you'll know a little more abou it). He stays here because mommy takes care of him. He's always has his way. When I was in college, the counselor was more concerned with class work, which I fail dramatically at it.
Both my other brother tolerate it and won't stand up to him. I take a stand and get nowhere with it. His friends tell him he lies about me and they tell him to grow up. That's the only truth he'll tell, that people tell him to grow up. But he won't.
2007-05-24 14:37:18 · update #1
They don't believe they don't need therapy, but I would strongly suggest it, but it's wasted on them.
2007-05-24 16:01:25 · update #2
Oops, meant to say they don't believe they do need therapy.
2007-05-24 16:08:31 · update #3
It is true that people that bothers you, is because they are looking for attention, and if you don´t give it to them, they get tired.
But in this case, is different ´couse you live with him, and yes sounds like they are afraid of him,
I don´t know, try to catch him on tape, but if they are afraid of him, that won´t solve much, the truth is he need help, theraphy or something like that
Hope this hepls
2007-05-24 13:14:56 · answer #1 · answered by gone 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Abuse should never be from adults untless they are mentally disabled and cant help it. As far as older kids I would supprise him with a nerf gun, or supprise him by not getting mad the next time he attacks you and pick him up and tickle him until he stops or have a bucket of water balloons to throw at him. Do something fun. I think he only wants attention. You getting angry is attention, good or bad doesnt really matter. I think you're friends and family are right to say "iggy" him but you seem super annoyed so try something safe but fun and maybe the next time he attacks you it'll be playful and not as rough. If that doesnt work then have a sit down and tell him how you feel when he throws things and does stuff to get on your neves. And dont tell him how you feel when your angry cause he'll just laugh or do it more for amusement and attention. Do it when you're both eating breakfast or watching a good movie and a commerial comes on. basically be in a fair mood. People seem to cooperate more when they're in a pretty good mood. GL hun.
2007-05-24 20:13:23 · answer #2 · answered by mistista07 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignoring him won't help a thing... Thats the only answer a parent will give you when they don't want to get involved. If you are in school you could go to your school counselor and tell on him.. Start telling on him to other adults that will listen so they can advise you.. He is verbally abusing you and its a crime.. It happened to me growing up.. Adults would tell me sticks and stones will break my bones but words can never hurt me... How untrue. I would have rather been hit with a stone because words and verbal abuse are worse. He needs to stop even if you go to the police or 40 years later you will be writing this same message to someone else because the scars are so deep it never goes away.
2007-05-24 20:10:57 · answer #3 · answered by Lea 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
From what I can tell, they don't want to take responsibilities for their own actions, so take their problems out on you. Since they're in denial, they're not going to change their ways. I'm fortunate I don't have that problem with my family, but I do feel for you. All I can think of is to ask a friend if you can move in and be a roommate and they'll have your company. Your brothers and mom probably think your not moving out is an a poor excuse.
2007-05-24 23:15:54 · answer #4 · answered by Bob Maynard 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They say to ignore it because it's the easiest way to deal with it, for them. What I do is "eye for an eye" if he throws something at you, throw it back. Or find something that irritates the heck out of him and needle him with it. A taste of his own medicine, if you will. You need to stand up for yourself and let him know that you aren't going to stand by and put up with HIS bs anymore. Most often I usually tell others that two wrongs don't make a right, but in your case, two wrongs may get him to leave you alone. Good Luck!
2007-05-24 21:23:27 · answer #5 · answered by foodieNY 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think in the situation you're in as his sister, it would be quite customary to throw something back at him. Brothers and sisters mess around with each other all the time, it's part of being family members.
2007-05-24 20:43:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the next time he throws something at you, torments you, or hits you call the police and file charges against him. You or he may be removed from your home and put into foster care. Unfortunately that is a gamble. But if you can't rely on the adults in your life to protect you, you must protect yourself.
2007-05-24 20:22:38 · answer #7 · answered by NONAME 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋