Talk to him, explain to him that you would like for him to have goals, dreams...
Think on the future...wouldn't you like your kids to say .y dad is a lawyer, a teacher, a architect..a good career...
Remember communication is the key to a long lasting relationship..
2007-05-24 13:10:03
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answer #1
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answered by Lali 3
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Maybe the real question is whether or not he is happy and fulfilled being less ambitious than you are. If he is happy the way he is, and he treats you well, and supports you in your endeavors, is it really so bad? However, if his lack of ambition makes him seem boring to you, that's a bigger problem. If you are driven to intellectual pursuits, like medicine, you won't suffer a boring boyfriend for long...
A few different ways of looking at it: Perhaps he has a different reason for being here - you both are pretty young, and he may not have discovered that thing that will eventually motivate him.
You might also think about why ambition is so important to you - what's behind that? If you focus on answering the question in yourself, you might learn something that will help you deal with him more peacefully. Ambition is great, don't get me wrong, but it's still good to know where your attitudes about it come from, and what you are really trying to achieve.
In the end, we can't change other people, we can only change ourselves in relation to them. That's why I suggest investigating what ambition means to you - once you are clear about it in yourself, I think you'll know just what to do with regard to your boyfriend.
Good luck!
2007-05-24 13:42:21
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answer #2
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answered by Grob 2
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Hey, you may have the 'best relationship' around and not even know it ... because as a doctor, you won't be able to take as much 'time off' when you have your kids ... but your 'very unambitious boyfriend' would be a really good 'stay at home dad' for those kids you both want to have! Since you will be making 'lots of money' I'd just let him have his 'culinary career' and tell him that when the kids are 'born' he's going to be the one who gets to 'stay at home' with them!
2007-05-24 13:50:05
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answer #3
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answered by Kris L 7
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Ambition and motivation are things that are found, not inhertied or learned. Just because he is complacent now, does not mean he will always be that way. The world is filled with bad husbands and fathers; question you have to answer is that what is more important to you a happy wife and kids or a glamourous career and an inflated W2?
Some people are "Live to work" people, and others are "Work to Live". Nothing wrong with either. What matters is how he treats you, and how he would treat your family.
Best to be patient and supportative. But not coddling. Hope that helps. Good luck.
2007-05-24 13:08:23
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answer #4
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answered by Tim 2
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Ever heard of opposites attract, no? o well worth a try. If he is content with lazyness then perhaps there is something that will fire him up again. Often people who are lazy arnt exactly unmotervated, they are just content with where they are at or too afraid to take a step forward.
If this is who he is and doesnt want to go forward then you need to think. Can you love him for him?
2007-05-24 13:12:35
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answer #5
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answered by ChAtMaN 4
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You sound like you're trying not to listen to your heart. He still has sex with her and guess what it works out well because you're not around to yell at him. That child is very confused because he/she sees there father every two weeks. You know that mommy and daddy are together in front of the child. Why would you marry this man? He's going to marry you and continue to cheat right in front of your face. He's not playing house because he already has a family in one town and you in another. He's living two separate lives and it's working out because you will never run into her because she is out of town. They planned that my dear. She knows all about you and she is fine with the fact that he goes back home to you. He pays her bills and takes care of his child and gets to be intimate with her every two weeks. Why would you allow a man to treat you in such a manner? Here's a question why are you allowing him to go to her house on his own? Why does he have to drive out of town to see his child? Why can't he pick his child up and drive back to the house so you could bond with the child since it is only 1 yrs old. Don't marry him he's playing you. This guy does not use protection with her hence she had a baby with him. You're letting this man play with your life.
2016-04-01 06:44:19
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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Rule # 3 of relationships: He is not going to change. Write this one off, find someone who shares your values. If you are going to med school, you need a sail, not an anchor.
John, I have loved you in the past, and I appreciate a lot of things about you, but I've given it a lot of thought, and we are just not compatible. We connected too young, and I have matured more than you have. Give us six months apart, and we'll have coffee together. We'll see where we are at that point.
2007-05-24 13:11:15
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answer #7
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answered by Daniel H 3
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I take it that your boyfriend is working, correct? Why does he have to have the same ambitions and goals as you do? As long as he is working means he is not lazy. He supports your ambitions which is cool. Why can't you love him as he is? We are all different aren't we? So I don't see what you have to deal with really. Deal with the fact that you are two different people who love one another. Isn't that enough for you?
2007-05-24 13:12:17
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answer #8
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answered by Anonymous
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Sorry to tell you girlfriend, but you need to spend less time with him, more and more. I am pretty sure there are several other guys that would like to take his place.
Also him being unambitious will drag you down even though that may not be what he's trying to do.
Get around more ambitious people please. They will heat you up even more.
Honey there are three kinds of people in this world.
Those that make things happen
Those that watch things happen
and Those that say " what the hell just happened!!!"
2007-05-24 13:10:38
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answer #9
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answered by Anonymous
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odd enough if you had someone more like you I think it would be a bore, what I think you need to condition him for is a wife, in the traditional sense, obviously once you become a Dr. your career will come first...let hubby stay home and take care of the children, you said culinary..let him do the cooking too...see your not in such a bad position after all..utilize the circumstances to the best of its potential.
2007-05-24 13:09:59
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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