how can i stop my newborn baby from always wanting to lay on me?

Question

he always want me or hubby to hold him, so he can go to sleep, the minute we put him down he cries for a few seconds, sometimes longer. he wont sleep in his bassinnett or on the bed, just on us for some reason, why? is he spoiled? people say you cant spoil a baby, thats a load a crap, what do you think? no dumb answers

Answer 1

My daughter was the same way...still is in some aspects! REMEMBER- he will only be this small for a short amount of time...enjoy it!! I was struggling with the same predicament until she was about 2 months old and I just "gave in"...enjoying the warmth of her little body on my chest and the sweet smell of her head under my nose as we snuggled together to sleep. (a recliner is like heaven to a tired mom at times) I also gave in to the family bed since I am breastfeeding her...don't frown on it...there are many safe ways to sleep with baby in your bed..check out Dr Sears The Sleep Book. Learning how to do this has helped not only me and the baby, but also my husband since I am not as tired and not as grumpy. Just having me close to her when she sleeps especially until she was about 5 months old is all she needed. NOW (almost 8 months) she sleeps in her bed about 50% of the night- goes like this--9pm I nurse her till she is just about asleep, then I hold her until she is in a good deep sleep (when her hands are limp and do not fist up when touched--only takes about 15 minutes now), then I lay her on her belly (yes, some babies just NEED that) in her crib, she sleeps for about an hour after which she fusses a bit and I pat her back until she goes back to sleep, about 5 minutes. She will usually sleep until about 3am until she turns over and wants to nurse. I nurse for about 10minutes sitting at the end of our bed. Then at about 5:30am she will REALLY want to nurse so I bring her to bed (either between my husband and I OR me in the middle and her next to the side rail we bought from Safety First that is made for a Kingsize bed) and we finish the morning in bed either side nursing or sleeping cuddled together until my alarm at 7am.
I hope this helps and like I said at the top...your baby will only be this small for a short time....enjoy it while you can...soon he will be wriggling to get OFF your lap to go play!!!!

Answer 2

no, it's not spoiling him. It is possible to hold them so much when they are little that they will want to be held a lot later on. A baby could never get too much touch. By you saying "newborn" i'm assuming he's under 3 months. At this age, babies need A LOT of affection from their parents. They need to know they are loved, and not just shown attention when getting their diaper changed. One suggestion I have for you is kangaroo care. Hold him, either standing, sitting, or laying, with nothing on waist up, and hold him either naked or with only a diaper on against your chest/belly. Babies thrive off of their mothers touch. They are no longer in a safe lil cubby place (your womb) they are in a big world and need to know that someone is there to take care of them. Him wanting held a lot is normal, but make it a gradual thing to get him away from that. But the first 6 months, hold him a lot. Also try other things with him so he doesn't want held so much later on. Like lay him next to you in bed during the day when he's tired, and caress him. Play with his hair and rub his chest. This might be good enough to satisfy him. Other things I did, is when he needed a bath to not put him in the baby bath everytime. Sometimes, maybe a few times a week, get into the bathtub with him and hold him, and clean him that way. This gives him more touch and assurance.

Hope this helps!

Answer 3

No can't spoil a baby. A baby is biologically programed through millions of years of evolution to have the expectation of being held, close to a warm body, and stimulated whether awake, eating or sleeping. It is not normal nor natural for your baby NOT to be in your arms, or to sleep next to you or on you. They cannot reason and say to themselves "mom is here, and I am safe" if he cannot see you, touch you, smell you, or hear your heartbeat. Go with your instincts, and HOLD your newborn!! You will see, he will become an independant, happy, healthy, child if you fulfill his basic NEEDS now. It is only a short short time in his little life, but very very important in regards to his well-being for the rest of his life.

Answer 4

He's not spoiled, he's smart enough to insist on the best! I recommend that you get a sling and wear baby as much as possible. Wear him during daytime naps and while you do your housework. When you do lay him down, make sure he's swaddled tightly. You can spoil a baby by ignoring him and leaving him to sit by himself too long. You know, the same way you spoil a piece of fruit.

Answer 5

You can't spoil a baby...Baby's enjoy being close to someone and feeling their warmth. They are soothed by hearing a heartbeat. Babies need to be held. My son was the same way until he turned 4 months. Now the only time he wants to sleep on me is when he is overtired and fussy. Try getting a heartbeat/womb bear and put it near him. You can also try a piece of your clothing, just make sure he doesn't get wrapped up in it. This helped my son. This stage will be over too quickly then you will want him to be like that again. Yeah, its irritating at times, but it's worth it.

Answer 6

You CAN'T spoil a baby. A newborn cries to COMMUNICATE and NOT to manipulate. A newborn truely NEEDS to be held. Think of it this way.....

For the last 9 mos he knew where you were for every second. He could see/hear/feel/taste/smell you every second of every day. Now.....sometimes he can't sense you and that is SCAREY to him. Imagine waking up to find your leg is gone. That's kind of what it's like to him. He doesn't understand yet that the two of you are separate beings and that you still exhist when he can't sense you.

Be patient and try to enjoy this cuddle time because it won't last forever.

Answer 7

This is not a "dog" it is a wolf hybrid and the wolf is more dominant, obviously proof has been shown by the "dog" biting and nipping. Your mother is lucky the parents of the child her "dog" bit didn't sue her, if it had been my child I certainly would have. Your mother has a danger in her home (it is not the fault of the "dog") and she needs to find another home for the animal before your baby comes. Or you need to find another place. As far as you babysitting in your mother's home...hopefully CPS doesn't find out because what you are doing is endangering children (exposing them to a danger in the home), and if you are still there when your baby is born CPS could very well take your child from you and charge you with endangerment.

Answer 8

you are obviously frustrated, and tired. I understand! Newborns love the sound of your heartbeat. Have you tried swaddling him? He probably wants to sleep on your chest because that's what he's used to. Try feeding, changing, and swaddling him. When he is asleep, try laying him down for a bit. (Swaddled). You really can't "spoil" a newborn. All of their needs are very basic and it's our job as parents to respond to them. Try and get some sleep. Good luck.

Answer 9

Your baby has been held for 9 months and every instinct they are born with tells them if you put them down the wolves will eat them.

Sleeping alone, in a crib, in a separate room is a recent practice, largely only practiced in North America. In fact in some cultures placing a baby in a separate room for the night would be considered child neglect/endangerment.

I am sorry that you expect your baby to act like a baby doll, but millions of years of evolution have caused humans and all primates to require large amounts of direct contact to thrive and instincts that tell them not to allow mom to put them down.

Answer 10

You can't spoil a newborn.
If you start ignoring his cries all that will teach him is that you aren't reliable. He will learn that telling mummy what he needs don't matter, and that his parents aren't going to answer him.

Hug him. He's only going to be this little once. Do you want to look back on his babyhood and think 'I spent it listening to him cry while I ignored him' or 'I spent it cuddling my baby before he got too old to want me to cuddle him.'