I have been with my fiance for 5 years total, living together and engaged for 3. I have spoken to him about his issues, i've yelled, i've cried, and he won't change. I miss being alone, and independent. I don't want to see other people. He is not the same man I fell in love with, how can I break it off? I'm scared!
2007-05-24 10:55:05 · 25 answers · asked by Gracellyn G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You were foolish to even think he would change, men don't change and you can't change them. Something for you to learn so you don't make the same mistake next time.
Just pack your bags and tell him it's over. It's just that simple, he doesn't want to be let down easy he just wants the truth. No need to explain why, he really does want to know even if he asks.
You need to do what is best for you, I'm sure you are a wonderful person just not ready to get married. Live life and travel, grow as a person. Then you will be ready to find the right guy. Remember, he is what he is and isn't going to change. You either need to be able to live with it or move on.
Good luck.
2007-05-24 11:02:33 · answer #1 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same situation a year ago. You don't get time back so don't waste any more. You probably got temporary results from each yelling and crying session but they don't last. Nobody should change out of force. He is well aware of what you don't like. Only you can decide if you want to put up with it or pack up your stuff.
2007-05-24 11:13:49 · answer #2 · answered by Just woke up 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What you need to realize is you never go into any relationship with someone with plans on changing them. Certain things yes but like you he will be who he is and you love him for that.
How much did you change? Do you think he likes everything that you do.....I doubt it. But when you truly love someone you accept things for what they are. You can't change him so now your not in love? Sounds dangerously close to shallow. But like your fiance you will be who you are and that probably won't change either. Best advice don't be scared be honest to both yourself and him and give him back his ring and tell him you don't want to marry. When you do I advise you have a plan in place to live either with family or a friend. But learn life's lesson and when you meet someone else go into the relationship with your heart and know that you love that person for who they are not the person you want to change them into..........
2007-05-24 11:09:20 · answer #3 · answered by miester44 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
although in case you do take her to small claims court docket, and although in case you do win, that does no longer advise you'll ever see that funds inevitably. The court docket purely decides even if the money is owed to you, they do no longer actual do something to implement the charge. you'll nevertheless ought to employ a third party afterwards to garnish her wages or harass her for the money, and those agencies take rather a lot 50% of the money for themselves. PLUS they gained't even take the case if this is lower than $2000. the only upside (for you) is in case you probably did win your case adversarial to her, that debt would then take position on her credit document and she or he will be able of by no ability be able of purchase a vehicle, or a house, or take out a private loan of any style back.
2016-10-18 10:14:44 · answer #4 · answered by haberstroh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell exactly what you just said. You can't live your life unhappy because you don't want to hurt him. 3 years is a long time to be engaged without setting a date, so I would take that as a sign that he is not super serious to get married anyway.
2007-05-24 11:04:41 · answer #5 · answered by jlentz0530 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you actually leave be prepared for him to start listening and wanting a second chance.
Take him for a walk and tell him, "I need x, y and z to be happy in a relationship, since it's not happening here, I need to know if you will go to counseling with me or if I should just move out?"
Good luck to you.
2007-05-24 10:59:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When he's at work pack your stuff and leave... If you have fallen out of love then it's time to go. People only change if they want to and sometimes it takes something big to wake up the other person...
2007-05-24 10:59:30 · answer #7 · answered by Flying w/ scissors 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Fear holds us all back from being happy. Just tell him that you want your freedom & make sure you have a place to go & no matter what he says ,cries let him know that you need some time to yourself that your just not ready to get married yet. TO THY OWN SELF BE TRUE .Set your boundries & stick to them. Hugs to you,
Star
2007-05-24 11:09:53 · answer #8 · answered by texasstar1974 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just tell him that ur not in love with him anymore.it will hurt him but u have to do whats best for u now and in the long run.u can't change him,he has to change on his own and it sounds like its not happening.so if i were in ur place,u sure will break it off now.the sooner the better.good luck
2007-05-24 11:06:01 · answer #9 · answered by leen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man, I'm in the same situation. I'm scared crapless. It makes me wanna puke. Especially since I moved to her town. My gf is not bad, it's just that I don't think she is the right one for me to marry the more i get to know her.
Let me know how your situation goes.
2007-05-24 11:02:51 · answer #10 · answered by 46&2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋