Ok so I live in a city where I know noone. My husband, daughter and I just moved to San Jose due to his job and we have no family or friends here yet. I'm 38 weeks pregnant and I'm scheduled to have a c-section on Wednesday because my baby is breech. Now for the problem, who's going to watch my 2 year old daughter? We don't know anyone and I've never left her a day in her life let alone 4 days to recover from a c-section. Why 4 days here in California, I have no idea. Where we used to live it was just 2 days for a c-section and now all of a sudden it's 4 DAYS!!!! I'm stressing out BIG TIME and I'm not sure what to do. The only way we can possibly have someone watch her is if the c-section is done before Monday but should I bring it up to my doctor? What do I do? I'm freaking out and it's literally hurting my stomach. What do you think?
2007-05-24 09:49:24 · 23 answers · asked by I smile because of them ♥ 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
My husband will be off but I wouldn't want to be alone during the delivery. I've never had any type of surgery and I delivered my daughter natural and I'm really scared to have to be alone!
2007-05-24 09:58:17 · update #1
Oh and he can take care of her at night after the operation but it still bugs me since she's really attached to me and I feel like she's going to hate me afterwards. I don't want her to think that I completely just abandoned her and don't love her anymore!! I'm just so stressed I can't even think!!! My mom is coming the week after the baby because I was supposed to be induced then but now since he's breech plans have changed and they can't change their tickets.
2007-05-24 10:01:04 · update #2
All I'm worried about it the actual birth. After I have the baby I expect him to stay with her at night. That's not a problem. The problem is during the delivery.
2007-05-24 10:04:51 · update #3
I don't think I can add to these answers, these all seem very good. I'm in a similar situation, but fortunately in the last few month met through mutual friends and made very good friends with a Doula who's going to help us out.
Thinking about flying out an available family member, and talking to your doctor are two very good ideas. The latter I would do immediately. But my main reason for writing is to reiterate the calming down advice. Easier said than done, I know, but its probably one of the Best things you can do in your situation, and freaking out won't present a solution. Breathe deep, and best of luck to all 4 of you.
2007-05-24 10:04:40 · answer #1 · answered by ladylou 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talking to your doctor wouldn't be a bad idea for the fact that maybe your doc knows an alternative for you. What about your husband...i mean i know you want him there for the birth of course but the days after he can stay home with your daughter and bring her to you with him to visit, then you just have to find someone for the day of your c-section, he probably wants to stay with you, but in your situation he may not be able to. Have him ask some employees he works with or something, call around and see if you can't pay someone...i know that's hard to do not knowing people, but you gotta figure this out...no offense but this should've already been planned. Call the hospital you're delivering at, maybe they have a daycare setting they can put her in while you're in labor. Good luck.
2007-05-24 09:57:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I will assume for some reason your husband can't do it - I would bring it up to your doctor that you have a time frame issue and see what he says. Other than scheduling it early or having your husband watch her you can check with local day cares or call a family member/friend to see if someone will make a special trip. At the risk of sounding rude (and please don't feel that I am trying to be) why can't your husband stay with her and if not shouldn't it be time to let the birds out of the nest?
2007-05-24 09:56:51 · answer #3 · answered by ppnj4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have your husband watch her. My husband was in Iraq for my second c-section. I had my mom drive the 700 miles up here and watch my 3 year old. She had to leave the day after I got out of the hospital. I managed to recover with a newborn and a 3 year old..... it was hard, but possible. Good luck !
2007-05-24 10:12:07 · answer #4 · answered by w8n4myhrtniraq 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your husband not going to be off from work to help you? If you want to talk to your doctor about having it done a couple of days early, I don't think it will be that big of a deal. You have already come to term, which is 37 weeks, so they may be able to do that for you. Plus, hospitals are not prisons, they can't keep you there. I'm sure if you are feeling better sooner, they will allow you to go home. Good luck.
2007-05-24 09:57:57 · answer #5 · answered by Mommy to 3 beautiful babies! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to calm down. Do you have any family at all? if so could someone come and stay at your house for a few days? or your husband will have to stay at home with her, i know thats not very ideal as your having another baby but needs must. Even if the hospital does it on a weekend your still gonna need to be in for 4 days.hope it all goes well
2007-05-24 09:56:09 · answer #6 · answered by Paula M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband may have to stay with her at night if you can't get a family member to come for a short trip but during the day you can call a nanny agency to watch the child in your home.
2007-05-24 09:55:05 · answer #7 · answered by chipmunk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to relax, is not good that you get stress like this. I understand your situation, being myself ina new country and no family, its harder think who will take her of son if I can't.But, leave this to your husband, is time that he takes some father responsability, even if this makes him to be absent from work a few days.
Other options is pay a friend an relative tha airplane to go and stay with your daughter.
Also, can look for some nannies online.
2007-05-24 09:59:11 · answer #8 · answered by California 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have your husband stay at home with her. he doesnt have to be with you every second of your recovery. by the way it takes alot longer than 4 days to recover i had one four years ago it took me several weeks to get back to normal. stop stressing everything will be fine. if she goes to day care send here there or have dad stay out of the or with her while the baby is born. or have someone come up in either family not sure you have a tough situation or have hubby see if someone he works with can keep her for a few hours or knows someone who keeps their kids that wouldnt mind
2007-05-24 09:56:37 · answer #9 · answered by kleighs mommy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there any possible way that a family member or friend could fly out and stay with your daughter? Do y'all attend church? If so, perhaps they can help. Aside from that, your husband will have to stay home with her. Not many options, sorry. Best of luck.
2007-05-24 09:56:30 · answer #10 · answered by duckygrl21 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋