no one wants me to have this baby?

Question

i am 8 weeks pregnant. i am very excited to be having a baby. but no one wants me to have it! i am 18 and my parents are telling me that it will be a burden on them, and my boyfriend wants me to have an abortion. how do i keep my head up and stay content with the decision i have made?

for those who have or may ask--
yes, i do have a job. yes, i do have health insurance.
although i am living at home now, i am currently saving for [1] a more reliable car [2] an appartment
all other savings are for the baby

also, i am not looking at my parents for financial support or to take care of this baby. i know that it is my responsibility and i'm content with that! i want my parents and my boyfriend to be there for me emotionally. thats it :]

Answer 1

Things always work out!!

I was in a very similar situation when I was 20. I was single, pregnant, and had just dumped my boyfriend. My parents and siblings didn't want me to have my son, but my best friend had died from a legal abortion two years earlier so that was out of the question for me. My mother had adoption agency's call me to try and make me give him up. My oldest sister told me he would hate his life because I wouldn't be able to support him well on my own.

Skip to his birthday. He was born by emergency c section. As I was waking up from the surgery, my mom was standing over my bed crying. She told me he was perfect... had 10 fingers and toes. That he was the most beautiful child she had ever seen.
Before we left the hospital my mother had bought us a baby bed, stroller, car seat, a years worth of food for him, etc... (she went overboard lol )

8 weeks later I met my future husband and 9 months later we were married.

Last week my baby that everyone thought would hate me for the rest of his life graduated from high school, turned 18, and was accepted to a very exclusive college.

And to think no one wanted me to have him.

Answer 2

I am going to be absolutely honest with you. You are 18, do you have a job? health insurance? Place to live and raise this child? Or are you going to live at home with mommy and daddy and let them support this baby? It sounds like to me when your mom Say's it will be a "BURDEN" on them they know exactly what is going to happen. This baby is for life. Being up all night crying, diapers then cost of clothes and food and insurance and cribs and I could go on forever, it sounds like to me that your parent are the ones who will be having the baby not you! That is very unfair to do this to them, they have already raised you why should they get stuck starting all over again. If you cannot do this on your own with your boyfriend then personally I dont think that you need to be having a baby. I see everyday how this has an effect on MY mom. My sister was 18, lives at home no job, basically the same situation. Everyday my mom want to cry because it is way to much for her financially, mentally and physically. Please think real hard about this, you have 2 options adoption and abortion. Maybe everyone is telling you NO for a reason. You will not be the only ones life this effect. Good luck.

Answer 3

By being self-supportng. If you can support yourself and this baby with no help from anyone, then it is YOUR decision to make. If it is going to be a burden on your parents or your boyfriend, then that's different. While it is true that it is your body, if you can't support a baby, you've got no business having one. It smacks of immaturity and irrresponsibility when girls get pregnant, decide to keep the baby, but are expecting someone else to foot the bill and take care of them.

Can you pay your hospital bill? Can you afford an apartment? Can you afford your baby's first year medical care when he/she will be needing all their innoculations and will be most likely to get sick? Do you have a job? Do you have any skills so you can support yourself and a baby?

Just getting pregnant doesn't make a woman a mother. A MOTHER is someone who is mature, responsible and able to CARE for a child - not just an incubator for a fetus to develop into a child!

Answer 4

You can be content in knowing that the baby you are carrying is going to love you so much as you love him or her. If you are having a hard time, maybe you can go to a church and talk with someone. Perhaps not bringing up the topic with your parents or boyfriend may be good. Your boyfriend isn't experiencing the same things you are, and doesn't have the same feelings you have. I hope you can stay strong, and I think your parents may have a different feeling once they see this baby, a part of their daughter and a part of their family.

Answer 5

IF you absolutely feel you can't deal, give the baby up for adoption there are many loving parents who want to adobt, and won't see the baby as a burden.
IF you want the baby keep it, they guy just doesn't want to pay child support, obviously he cares nothing about you or the kid, dump him, and move on.
As far as your parents go, it is not the ideal choice for them, but too bad so sad, it happens they should be supportive.
You can get welfare, move into housing or section 8, get a job, finish school and move on. They will miss out on the wonders of grandparenthood, it is not the kids fault, and they need to move beyond that and be the adults they are suppose to be. Now is the time to guide you and be supportive of you, the parenting is done, now comes the fun part, grandparenting....

Answer 6

Do not listen to everyone else. This is your body and 100% your decision, especially being 18. What you need to do is go to your local family service office and ask for housing info, daycare info, and any kind of assistance just incase you are gonna have to do this on your own. I know you probably love your boyfriend, but for him to ask this of you is just mind boggling, he helped this and now it's so easy for him to say just get rid of it...that's crazy and you don't need to be around that negativity right now...i would tell him that you're keeping the baby and he cannot do anything about it and see where he's willing to stand then. If he bails out and your parents do (which i think over sometime and you convincing them you want this baby, they will be more supportive and come around)...but if they were to bail out also, you need to have backup...do you work? save your money right now, find low income housing in your area and apply. There's so much you can do...just look into all your options, even adoption if you had to.

Answer 7

The thing is, when you are young and pregnant, its not a good thing, Your parents want you to do more for yourself and your boyfriend does not want any children. Hence that is why no one wants you to have it. If a man does not want to have children, then there should not be any sex at all, but remember, this is your baby, your choice and not anyone elses, abortion is not good, my best advice to you is to get some help, if you can, get a job and move out, since you are acting grown then you will need to live and be grown. At least you are not 15 or 14 with child. You will just have to learn to be independent, talk to your parents, as much as they complain, they will be there for you. There are other options like adoption. There is so much help for you out there, you just have to go and find it. Believe me things will change for the better and you will have a beautiful baby!

Answer 8

Your parents consider their grandchild a burden on them? Well in that case go get some welfare, then look for a job you can do while pregnant, but don't let other people influence you as to whether to have an abortion. It is your decision and yours alone as will the after effects.

Look really all your parents are saying is that they don't want to support the child so get welfare -you can get it if you still live at home as long as you follow thier rules.


As for your boyfriend -tell him to straighten up and fly right or you will replace him with a real man who lives up to his responsibilities.

Answer 9

You are the only person that matters when making this decision. You are the mother. You have final say. If you want this baby and are prepaired to accept this responsibility of rasing a child than keep your baby.

Parents always wish something better for us but they are your parents and will come to their senses soon. As for the boyfriend he just wants as little responsibility as possible. A child means he has to pay child support for 18 years. An abortion is the cheapest alternative but not the only option.

Remember that it is your body, your choice.

Good Luck.

Answer 10

God Bless you for having the strength to make this decision! It will not be easy, but there is nothing you cannot overcome. Choosing to love a child is never a wrong decision. Keep your focus on bringing a beautiful, healthy child into this world. As for your parents, I can see how this would be a shock. We always want the best for our kids and having them become pregnant at 18 is a little scary. Nevertheless, You are an adult and I hope they will respect your decision when they are able to see that you are being strong, mature, and responsible by choosing life for this child. There are many resources out there to help you. Congratulations momma to be!

Answer 11

first of all, you sound so happy to be having a baby. check out your options like if there are any program's or places you can stay and help you though the pregnancy., and after. Don't make a mistake you will regret later on in your life, start finding out your options, and of course he wants you to have an abortion, he does not give a damn about you, or the baby,your body &state of mind , dump him, but have a DNA test done and make sure he pays for it. If you decide to keep the baby may I be the first to say congrats, and I sincerely hope everything works out for you. If you were my daughter, I would be doing everything to help you, you & their future grandchild should be looked upon as a blessing, not a burden. Think about yourself sweetie and you will do fine.