I'm a military wife and love the benefits, but my husband's a liar, cheater and a dog? Stay or go?

Question

I'm a 28 mother of three who has been married to a 23 year old asshole for 1 year. He enlisted to provide a better life for me and my three children none of which are his. He is a good father to them and they love him. He even wants to adopt my oldest since her dad isn't around. But he put the D in dog. He has cheated from the start and lied about all of it. He had sex with his ex the day before our wedding and a week after 'I do'. Continued to sex her every chance he got. He got STD's from her and try to accuse me of cheating and giving it to him. Has two children out of wedlock that he failed to mention until 6 months after we were married.He even tried to take an allotment out of his check while he's in a Iraq and put it into her account.This man has put me through hell and I have never cheated not even once. Even though I'm a 9 and he is a 5 and I get hit on all the time. I want a divorce, but I do love the military benefits. I don't have to work, he pays the bills? Stay or go?

Answer 1

EWW! OH GIRL NOW COME ON ..YOU KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION YOU ARE ASKING!! ARE U CRAZY? DID HE BOP U UPSIDE THE HEAD AND MAKE U NOT THINK??/ DAMN LEAVE HIS SORRY ASSS...FIND U A REAL MAN THAT WILL TAKE CARE OF U AND LOVE U...THIS MAN CAN HAVE HIS OL DOG WAYS WITH HIS EX AND OTHERS AND SPREAD HIS NASTY OL' DISEASE ELSEWHERE! START PACKIN' THEM BAGS...FOR HIS ASSS AND THROW EM OUT THE FRONT PORCH NOW GIRL!! OR DO A ANGELA BASSETT AND PUT HIS NASTY STUFF IN HIS CAR AND FIRE THAT SUCKER UP...DOUSE IT GIRL WITH GASOLINE AND MATCHES>>!! OR THROW SOME HOT GREASE ON HIS SORRY OL' ASSS

Answer 2

Tell me, if a stranger cheated you in some way, lied to you, kicked you around, beat you up, beat your dog up, would you fall in love with him? You see, I can't find any good reason for loving him other than that is the only justification you can come up for staying in an abusive relationship. Even a dog won't put up with that kind of treatment forever, and will either rip the guy a new azzhole or run away. If I were in your shoes, I would tell him to take his diamond ring and put it where the sun don't shine. Anyone can buy a diamond ring. Heck, you can buy yourself a diamond ring if you want one that bad. You really need to re-think how you define love.

Answer 3

Two options, stay or go;
If you stay, it concerns me how your children love him, indicates you are teaching them by staying that it is ok for a man to cheat and disrespect women. You will continue to get the military benefits but the price will be your self respect. I can understand the responsibility you feel by having to raise 3 children, but your first responsibility is to set an example for them, so far you have not done such a good job in this area.
If you go, your children benefit from learning it is not good to remain in a marriage where a person is being mistreated and disrespected. You will struggle financial but the price for this is getting your self respect back. Consult a divorce attorney and get advice on what your rights would be. I do hope you do what you know is the right thing to do.

Answer 4

Never stay with a man for the money. Financial benefits aren't a good reason to be with someone. Especially not someone who treats you the way this guy does. Do you want your kids to grow up thinking his behavior is ok? If you have a little boy, he'll think he can treat women that way, and the girls will think it's ok to be cheated on and lied to, because mommy was.

Leave now, file for divorce. You'll have to get a job and provide for the family, but you've most likely already had to do that before, and know what you have to do again. Have some respect for yourself and your family.

Answer 5

That's sick, and I'm sure Mrs."I'm a 9" you've done atleast some doggin around yourself.You give military wives a bad name, you need to take a long hard look at yourself, i don't care how hot you "think" you are, but you sound self-absorbed if you're just staying with someone for benefits, that's really sad. Get a life, get a job (a job with benefits that you have to EARN!), and if you have to ask strangers their opinions on your marriage, then why the hell are you together still in the first place? I pray you seperate, get a job, and your kids don't have to pay.

Answer 6

Being a military wife myself I find what you say about the only reason to sat with him are the benefits offensive!!! I have been married to my husband for 6 years (all of which he has been active duty) and if any of these had happen to me I'd be long gone. You need to look at your relationship and if it's worth staying in not the military way of life.... which by the way has many more downs than ups!!!

Answer 7

One question, and one suggestion:

Why is your self esteem so low, that you are even still there? Get some counseling, and get out. Marriage is respect, admiration, passion and trust. He's betrayed your trust, giving passion to someone else, and the respect and admiration are in the toilet, hon. You don't have a marriage, you are the jerk in reserve. So, why are you still there.

Don't have any more children by anyone...

In your place, I'd live under a bridge, go back to school, and/or live in a woman's shelter before I'd put up with that.... education is the key outa poverty and dependency..... get out sweetie, and go back to school.

Answer 8

If you like the benefits so much find another military man that will treat you better. Try an older guy, he would have been in longer and getting more money. lol

Answer 9

GO GO GO as fast as you can. If you value yourself then go, which is worth more to you benefits or a responsible trustworthy father figure for your kids and a husband you can trust? There are way better men out there and I am sure you will find a much better guy and who knows maybe he will have better benefits! :)

Answer 10

Think long term. It's a go. You deserve so much better than that, and I'm sure you can find another man who can support you financially and also treats you right.