Why is it that some men....I won't say all because I know not all men do this.......but why do they do things behind the're wives back and then deny it to their face.....my husband does this to me all the time and then jumps down my throat and yells at me and says that I AM crazy and insecure and that what I say is crap and a lot of bull and that I am accusing him of alterior motives......even when I don't......like the other day I asked him if he had anything he wanted to tell me because he has been distant and he jumped down my throat accusing me of accusing him of having alterior motives for things he's doing instead of answering my questions and putting my mind at ease....he called me insecure and made me feel like the bad guy...but I am not crazy....he is doing things behind my back like calling a female friend that I don't know and suspect he is cheating on me with (see my other questions)......why would he do that if there wasn't anything going on and he had nothing to hide??
2007-05-24 08:35:00 · 17 answers · asked by Sinking Slowly 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've learned this before in the past. When a guy is guilty of something they usually feel some (no matter how small) form of guilt and try to turn it all on you so they don't feel so guilty. If you have your suspicions they are probably right.
2007-05-24 08:44:24 · answer #1 · answered by linda m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you whiney, self serving, insecure, low esteem women gave half of the effort you expend in sneaking around, testing and being Dick Tracey trying to find something and focused it on managing the marriage making plans, setting goals and doing things do you have any idea how many fewer divorces and cheating escapades there would be in this world. It is enough to stagger the imagination. The femal gender is the only one that I have seen that will look for something and through her actions make it so and blame the man. Are all women psychotic like that. I personally am looking for that woman that wants to grow a fortune with me and relax as we live off of the vastness of what we have accomplished together as we, us and our, not me and my and I.
2007-05-24 15:53:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know someone who has this prob. In human psychology this is a form of defense mechanism. This is very common in Men, and a widespread problem. It als a form of mental abuse. Living too long with this can wreck you. You gotta sitdown and seriously put to end this behavior. There is a possibility he is messing elsewhere, but then it could also be that he just is not used to being questioned. In either case this should stop. A grown man should be able to answer your question be it of any kind in a respectable way, not like a 10 year old.
2007-05-24 15:47:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
By deflecting your question to him it puts you on the defensive because he feels more in control and you will back down. You are not crazy so dont let him tell you so. Sounds like hes doing something he shouldnt. Let him no that you deserve respect and your sick of his tirads toward you when you ask a simple question. If he cant treat you the way you should respect and honor then maybe the relationship needs a closer look to see if you to are meant for each other. good luck
2007-05-24 16:03:10 · answer #4 · answered by GA 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say he is doing it because he is guilty and if he can blame you then he is not to blame for the things he is doing. He wants to convince himself that it is all your fault so he doesn't have to feel guilty for cheating when it is all him and nothing you did. This is a typical male action when they are cheating. You don't trust him etc. of corse you don't he gave you reason not to, but it's still your fault. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but this is the exact same way my husband was acting when he was cheating.
2007-05-25 00:24:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not just men. My ex-wife did the same types of things to me. That is how people who have low character and morals behave. It's not a male female issue.
What you need to do is go to radio shack and buy a telephone recording device which is inexpensive and easy to use and your husband won't be able to lie to you and turn things around on you. Just play the tape.
2007-05-24 15:43:16 · answer #6 · answered by Ronin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He may just be avoiding conflict by not telling you things that he thinks will upset you, but that aren't really bad. If he is talking to a female friend, and they are just friends, he shouldn't have to tell you every single time he talks to her. If he thinks you are worried for nothing and thinks you are being irrational, then he may be just avoiding the subject. No if he and this girl have a romantic past, then it is inappropriate for him to be talking to her without telling you, but it still doesn't mean that he is definitely cheating.
2007-05-24 15:46:03 · answer #7 · answered by writenimage 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who gives a crap why he is doing it! He is emotionally abusing you and you don't need to deal with it!
I sounds to me like he is guilty of something and being a idiot to you is his way of getting the attention off of himself!!
Or.....you are extremely insecure and always questioning him and he is getting sick of it!!
Only you know the truth!
2007-05-24 15:55:51 · answer #8 · answered by Kailey 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most likely he is guilty of doing something bad behind your back.
2007-05-24 15:42:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This guy sounds horrible - start making your way out of this relationship, unless you want this to go on forever!
2007-05-24 15:47:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋