Alright marriage experts, answer this question?

Question

my wife left 2 weeks ago and I have barely talked
with her except regarding stuff she wants out of the
house. Problem is I see her all the time. She's staying
about 20 minutes away and every morning she's stopping
at the same darn convenient store I'm stopping at the exact
same time. I'm trying to avoid her. divorce is painful enough.
I've been avoiding that store because she's there every
morning. Seems like she wants to see me or maybe
she just doesn't want to break her routine. I have in order
not to see her. Think she wants to see me? It's like a game.
I finally broke down and emailed her to open up communication
but haven't heard anything. If she's not coming back, I wish she'd
stay away from my place. I don't know why she wants to even
get a glimpse of me. I'm going to be her soon to be ex. Husband
What do you think I should do? O one other thing she's dropping
her daughter off right next door in the morning so I see her when I
leave. It's a dumb game and divorce isn't a game. Now what?
I feel like a fool contacting her and then getting no response.
Maybe she's just trying to screw with me but I do know that she
did really love me a lot. She's real stubborn.

Answer 1

I think she is playing with you, and if you are smart, you would move to where you wouldn't have to see her so often. Or start by seeing another women, make it younger. That will get her jealous.

Answer 2

Try to ignore her or move. There isn't anything you can do about her being in the neighborhood. All you can control here is you. Don't contact her anymore, just try to forget about her. If she goes to the store at a certain time, go later or earlier or not at all. If she's dropping off "her" daughter (marriage makes the girl yours too you know) then don't open the door until you feel she's gone. Change your work schedule by a half hour if you can. She is very truly trying to torment you...and what's more is it's working. Don't let her get your goat. I'm not sure what happened with you two, and it doesn't matter, but the fact is, it's over. Get the divorce and try to move on. Good luck.

Answer 3

If you say you got an "order" not to see her indicates there was some type of reason she needed to get that order to keep you away from her. I would say, stop reading her going to that store as a sign that she wants to see you, she is doing it for convenience and at the same time to mess with your head. She most likely also feels mixed emotions regarding the breakup of the marriage, this is a normal process and does not mean anything. Don't feel like a fool because you emailed her, it is good you let her know how you are feeling. This way if you both do end up divorced, you can at least know that you tried for reconciliation. Best of luck to you!

Answer 4

ok here it is from my piont of view. she does love you but like you said shes stubborn. this is why she keeps coming around you. she gets to use the excuse of the store is her regular store anddrooping the daughter off at the neighbor next door. she's trying to torment you. dont let her. it sounds like you have the guts to end it or at least stay out of her way. so just stay out of her way and make her wonder what you're doing and where you are. dont have any contact with her that you dont have to. believe it or not , if she really doesn't want this relationship to be over then she'll come back. stubborness can only happen if you let it happen. think about it. act like you could care less about what shes doing or wheres shes at and it will drive her CRAZY that is if she doesn't really want the divorce. if this dont work then I hate to say that you are on the road to the big D. good luck. let me know how it works out! if she did want it over it seems that since she does live 20 minutes away that she would find a new store and a new schedule.

Answer 5

Has she always gone to the same store every morning? Has she always left her daughter with your neighbor? If it hurts so much, maybe you need to change your routine. Leave the house earlier so you don't see her at the neighbor's and go to a different convenience store. If she doesn't see you for a few days maybe she will be inclined to answer your e-mail and you can find out what is really going on with her.

You're right, this is not a game, but people seem to make a game out of it to hide the hurt sometimes.

Answer 6

It does sound like she might be trying to screw with you just a little bit. Either that or she's just keeping an eye on you to make sure you're not having anyone else over.

I know these games that females can play b/c I've played them myself and none of them really make too much sense. When we tell a guy that we want to leave him or get a divorce, 95% of the time it's just to see if he'll chase us and how hard he'll try to stop us. When you don't do that, it seems to us like a slap in the face.

It doesn't sound like you two should get a divorce just yet. Maybe stick around a while longer and see what else happens.

Answer 7

It is very possible that she IS playing a game with you - but another entirely plausible scenario is that she simply does not give a damn one way or another. What for you is a big deal (seeing her in the store or dropping off her daughter), to her is just a minor thing not worth worrying about or changing her routine over. If you don't want to see her, you need to just avoid the places she frequents, at least for a little while, until the dust settles. I'm willing to bet that what you perceive as her desire to see you is in fact simply her indifference. She really doesn't care whether she sees you or not. I know deep down you probably want to think that there's still "something there" - but there might not be.

Answer 8

I think the worst thing that you can do right now is second guess and read interpretations into her actions. Two weeks isn't a long time, and you are a long way off from moving on with your life...but you don't need to be obsessing about her motives.

Go to a different store. Simple. And if you see eachother when she's dropping off her daughter, wave as you would to an acquaintance. (Believe me...nothing drives a woman more crazy that thinking a man has moved on...even if she was the one to leave....)

If you believe that she has left for good, and there is no chance of reconcilliation, your spending time trying to figure out her actions and intentions are just a waste of your precious time. Stop it now. Switch your focus elsewhere.

Answer 9

Ok, let's get something straight here, a conveinience store is public...you don't own it - so for you to call it "your" place is pretty silly. If it a local place that has the things she needs then she has every right to walk in there - with little to no regard for you.

Second, what is she supposed to do? Change her daughter's routine and try to find a whole new person to watch her just to make YOU feel better? Don't you think you are being just a TAD selfish?

There is no "game" here...she is just getting on with her life and doing what she needs to do to get through her day. She isn't ready to talk to you about anything...more than likely she just wants a clean break and that's it. She doesn't HAVE to talk to you about anything either...so stop trying to force it - all you do is look desperate.

Answer 10

When my husband and I were separated (we're back together now), I refused to change my habits. If he saw me, too bad, so sad. I wasn't doing anything to piss him off or play games, but I refused to let him intimidate me and force me to change my schedule. At that time, I grew a backbone, refused to speak to him unless it was through a lawyer and proceeded to get my life together, go out on dates, etc.

I had no idea that it was driving him crazy seeing me about town with other men. At the time, we had two checking accounts so I took one and he took the other. He was always struggling for money (though he made twice what I did) and I was beginning to build savings on barely anything. I lost a lot of weight, he gained it and got sick.

I had no idea that I was doing so much better than him. In the end, he won me back, but I'll never be taken for granted again. It's put a new spin on our marriage, and I was amazed at what was happening to him while I was thriving.

I look back on our split as one of the best things that ever happened to me, and much of this was because I *refused* to be intimidated by him, or change my schedule.

Could it be that your wife is doing what I did? That she doesn't want to shy away from you or her life? It doesn't mean she's trying to get you back, it just means that she's getting on with her life, without you in it. I suggest you do the same, babe. It's hard, but you'll feel better about it in the long run. Don't you be intimidated either!!!

Answer 11

i do divorces for a living and i can tell you that there is a typical pattern. first, if you have an order not to see her, dont. it could be that she is trying to get information on you to use against you or it could be that she is playing games. either way, i would focus more on getting your own things in order and make sure that you are going in the right direction. you cannot predict nor change someone elses behavior.

i would just do what you need to do to heal and move forward with your life, whichever way it goes.

good luck!