Several weeks ago, my girlfriend and I broke up after almost two years together. Since I've moved back, she's called to stay in contact with me, but the calls were always about her and what she was doing. Then, a week ago, she went into the hospital (she's had prior health issues). At first, I was concerned and wanted to fly out there, but she said it'd be weird me being out there just to take care of her. I started distancing myself from her and guess what? Her attitude changed. I backed away and she called me several times to ensure I wasn't mad. Suddenly, she wanted to know what was going on in my life, how i was, etc.. We've talked alot since then, just like old times. And she even told me that she realized she can't live without me. I still love her and think maybe we can get back together, but I know she doesn't want that - she wants me in her life as her friend. But, I can't just be her friend. What do I do? What do I tell her? It's too hard for me just be friends with her.
2007-05-24 06:20:45 · 15 answers · asked by Trust Me 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
IF you can't just be her friend, you have to end it. Otherwise she will (even if she doesn't necessarily mean to) use the fact that you still love her to manipulate you.
2007-05-24 06:27:37 · answer #1 · answered by LB 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow this is kind of a tough situation. OK first off do you love her or are you still IN love with her? There is a big difference. If you are still in love with her then you should say so because life is too short to not take the chance. If you just love her because you care about her kind of thing....the best thing you can possibly do is just be there for her as a friend but don't fall into the trap of using each other as a "crutch". It can be unhealthy and it is really unhealthy for you if you still want to be with her and she is just using you. OK I don't know if that made a lot of sense (it did in my head!). You seem like a nice guy. Just don't let her step all over you ok? Good luck!
2016-05-17 04:37:01 · answer #2 · answered by theo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why can't you just be friends with her? Successful relationships are based on friendship and if you can't be friends, how will you make it as partners? You might still have those feelings for her, but what about just being there to be her friend for now. Be the friend she needs. Help her through this time. Then, afterward, you will both know if you need more.
Don't push her. If she has other issues, including her health, to deal with, she probably really doesn't want a relationship too. If you're there for her and let her have the time she needs to get better, but are there for her every step of the way, she'll see how wonderful you are. That will give you the foundation you both need to build a strong and meaningful relationship. Good luck!~
2007-05-24 06:34:57 · answer #3 · answered by Shannon H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's a very selfish, weak but sneaky woman. She really does not give a damn about you, she just can't bare not having someone to talk about all of her silly *** problems with.
I never give wome this option, I look at it like this. Women have all the pussay, they can have their pick of the liiter for the most part, so if they drop me to go find another guy, then guess what, you've dropped all of me not 1/2 of me. You don't get me nor my friendship, that's the way it is, that's what I have as me and she does not get to claim that as her own.
Move on and tell her to do the same.
Her's one last thing. If you listen to these women here on this site, they will have you crawling back to this woman with your balls in your hand and feeling like 1/2 a man. You better recognize.
2007-05-24 06:41:16 · answer #4 · answered by bettercockster1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I take it that you used to live much closer to GF than you do now - and that you don't see each other in person a whole lot.
I also see that despite health issues, she is also a "Scarlett O'Hara" who only wants what she can't have - and when she finally gets what she wants - then she no longer wants it. (See Gone With The Wind)
She's too immature for a seroius relationship - especially a long distance one (they are hard to maintain). Back off and find a girl close by who appreciates a nice guy like you.
2007-05-24 06:34:45 · answer #5 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have to take a deep breath and tell her the truth, all or nothing. She has to make the decision and that's it, no turning around and changing her mind.....It sounds like you really love her, I wish you the best but it sounds to me that she only wants you when you push her away and when you reach for her she ignores you. Think about that, and go find a girl that will love you more than anything else in the world!
2007-05-24 06:29:31 · answer #6 · answered by juggalizzle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a situation such as yours, a women will just say she wants to be friends because she needs for you to want her, miss her, need her. She does not want to be the one to admit it so she says she just wants to be friends to see your reaction. I know this game confuses most guys but it is commonly done. Even if you say to her that you want more than friendship, she will test to see how bad you want more than friendship. These feelings of insecurity come from the rejection she felt from the break up. If you love her then ask her if she is willing to at least talk about a possibility of a reconciliation. If she continues to refuse, then continue to do as you are doing, and that is distancing yourself. She needs to see that this game playing will not work. She either has to swallow her pride and also admit that she wants you or not. I do hope it all works out for the best.
2007-05-24 06:37:13 · answer #7 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am actually best friends with my ex, however, it took a while to get to this point. Definitely take some time off! Let her know that you can't be in that type ofuation right now. Maybe down the road you can do it. Good luck!
2007-05-24 06:40:20 · answer #8 · answered by twest_dgo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well just start out being friends again it is a start. I would just be there for her and she will come around again. I think she does have deep feelings for you but she is scared and protecting herself. I would just take it slow and show her in actions how much you really do care for her. She sill wants you but does not want to get hurt. I would take her out on dates and give her a lot of hugs and let her approach you with intimacey on her own time. Let her know how important she is to you and letting her know that things will be better. Just remember that actions speak louder than words. She will see in time that you do really care and things will be alright sweetie.
2007-05-24 06:36:32 · answer #9 · answered by Lindsey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, if you think it's too hard being friend with her, then you need to get away. This is the only solution. If you can't have her as your girlfriend, then you need some time alone to move on. I know it's going to be hard, but that will make things easier for both of you.
2007-05-24 06:28:29 · answer #10 · answered by true love 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell her what you just told us, that it is too hard for you to just be her friend that you need more...if she doesn't want more, then there is not much you can do about it...she needs to either get back with you or you need to cut all ties with her and try to move on...as long as you are talking with her, it will be hard to move on
2007-05-24 06:31:48 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋