VIOLENCE? Does anything deserve a violent reaction?

Question

You don't have to read all of this to answer
I have to admit lately I have become pretty rude, but he hit me before. When I say nothing anyone could ever do deserves violence or intimidation, he just gets madder. I have hit him back, but not every time.
Honestly, what kind of things deserve a violent reaction?
Asking the same question 3 times because "I don't care" isn't an answer to me, so I get screamed at for asking the same question? Then it escalates from there, and I get intimidated, screamed and cussed at then pushed, to fall and hit my head on the dresser before the ground. and my stuff thrown around, and threatened?
Couples know how to push eachother's buttons, but does button pushing or being a *#@!% warrant violence, threats or intimidation?
I know I should leave, long story, I owe $6000 that is partly his debt too, and not only will he not pay a cent of it if I leave, he keeps EVERYTHING the 'debt' paid for and I have to pay half rent until lease is up.

Answer 1

No one deserves to be hit - especially by someone who supposedly loves you.

First. Call a lawyer to see what your rights are and how to protect them.

Next time he becomes violent for any reason - no matter what - go to the police and file charges. File an order of protection against him. Make them stick.

He'll plead. He'll cry. He'll say he's sorry. He'll threaten. He'll curse. He'll do anything to try to getyou to drop the charges. Don't drop the charges.

If you have to, go to a battered womens shelter. Follow their rules (which will include staying away from BF).

Tell the landlord/management co. about his violent behavior. Leases were made to be broken and maybe this can be a way of getting your name off the lease - especially with an order of protection out against him.

OK so you owe $6000 that he won't pay. Well, money can be replaced. So can stuff. BUT Your life is something more valuable. Call your creditors and see how you can arrange payments to be more affordable.

And who says HE gets to keep everything? Ever hear of UHaul and a Storage Unit?

Answer 2

Okay no matter how bad the debt is I wouldn't live like that.You deserve so much better.And don't say you can't do it on your own cause I believe you can.I hate hearing about women getting beat and I have told some that if a man ever beat me then I sure wouldn't be with them no matter what my situation is.

I had a friend a while back that got really badly hurt from an abusive man and I wouldn't want to hear of another woman getting hurt. But if your at a point in your life where you just really can't get out tell him to quit hitting you and if he refuses to quit then the next time he hits you,you pick up all your stuff or just a couple of outfits and leave right then and don't look back.There has to be a family member you can stay with just until you get on your feet and if not stay with a friend.And good luck.

Even just pushing is like hitting so leave him.

Answer 3

It doesn't matter what you say, no one has the right to hit or disrespect in any manner or situation. Once someone has hit you chances of them doing it again is great. You don't have to put up with this from him or any man. No, you don't have to pay half his debt or part of the lease. Get you a lawyer and let the judge settle this. He has to pay half his debt and you will find you a new place to live. If he told you all this, then he really has you fooled. If not married and you can prove he made the debt try getting it back through small claims court or other means. Don't allow anyone to treat you like a dog off the street. Your much better then that.

Answer 4

95% of the time, there is no reason for a man to hit a woman. Sometimes he may have to defend himself but in most cases it is unacceptable!

Who the hell cares about half of a $6000 dollar debt? Most people make that in a week or two. Just move out and move on!

Answer 5

Violence is never a reasonable reaction unless it is to defend yourself or another against physical attack or harm. All that "button-pushing" etc talk is just you trying to talk yourself out of doing what you know you need to. Get help from a battered womans hotline, the police, a friend, a church ( even if its not yours), anyone. Get help, reach out and grab someone to help pull you out of there.

Answer 6

I have not experienced any violence toward me and my wife. I remember one time I was working as a trainer at a Balley's and a client came in for her first work out...I had a picture of my now wife in my office, she made the comment . "Is that your girl" I said "yes", she then said, "with all the good sisters out there you are with a white woman". How could you do the sisters like that? I looked at her and said "who I date is my business, I am not interested in any color I am interested in a good person". "My girl has been good to me, if she were black, green, red, or yellow I would still be with her". I then asked her to leave my office and find someone else to work her out...It pissed me off and I will not have anyone disrespect my wife ( girl at the time) because she is white. I also remember once I took my wife to my home town down south, I was showing her one of the neighborhoods in which I grew up. Well there were some black women walking, and we were in a convertible, with the top down. One of the women yelled out you need to take that white woman out of your car. I stopped the car and said "and put who in it.. you"? Yea right, you are no where near her level so I suggest you just keep walking and try not to get the dust on your feet. I used to get most of my stares, and comments from black people...once we got married they stopped, or I have not noticed them. What piss me off is when people make remarks about interracial dating some of them are the first to want to be with the kids of interracial couples.

Answer 7

First off - leave before the violence turns abusive or deadly. "Everything" is nothing if you are threatened.
Secondly - if you know the buttons you are pushing make him mad - find another way of approaching him.

I still say - get out

Answer 8

If six grand is worth you getting ur a$$ kicked stay in there. If not leave. The rent if he wants to stay he can pay the rent other then that pay to get out of it, go to your landlord and see how they can work that out explain whats happening. And if he"ll attack u fro asking a question come now its not worth it. Love urself first.
Good Luck.

Answer 9

I'm sorry but you need to get out and you need to start to take pic of the abuse if their are bruises and bumps it needs to be recorded so if something in the future ever happened you were protected. do not take this call the cops watch the movie ENOUGH together and tell him that will be the two of you if he doesn't stop hitting or what ever he does to you take a stand no one should ever be treated like this no one!! please respect yourself enough to get out for your safety

Answer 10

Your survival is worth more than $6000. Go to the landlord, have your name taken off the lease and get OUT OF THERE. Noone deserves to be hit. EVER. EVER EVER. EVER.