I am 8 weeks pregnant and found out this week that it's identical twins. Every since i told my boyfriend, he has been insistent that he is not ready to be a father and has behaved as if he got a death sentence. He took it to a whole other level yesterday by telling me that if has been his plan to leave the country in the next 2-3 years...news to me, and we've been together for 4 years.
I don't feel like trying to be compassionate for him and the stress and anxiety he's experiencing; frankly, cry me a river, Nancy. Who's gonna be the one screaming "take it out, take it out!" in a few months?
anyway...
Should i cut my losses and be done with this situation (and him) by terminating the pregnancy and save myself from this messed up situation, or should i carry the babies to term? How am I supposed to be able to support two kids all by myself??? And who really feels like fighting with him in child support court?
2007-05-24 04:48:17 · 21 answers · asked by Lucky Penny 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Trust your gut... You should do exactly what it is telling you to do.
Have you considered adpotion? It would give you the 9 months to see how things turn out.
2007-05-24 04:54:13 · answer #1 · answered by ltlrthquakes 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
So the only way to cut your losses and be done with your boyfriend is to terminate your pregnancy? I'm sorry, but that doesn't make sense to me.
You're going to have an abortion to get out of fighting for child support? Again....doesn't make sense.
I am a supporter for abortion..for the right reasons. To leave your boyfriend or save you time in court are not right reasons.
It is very legitimate to be concerned with how you will support two children. That (to me) seems to be the only dilemma. You need to look seriously at your life, and determine if you can provide a life for these children. If not, consider adoption. It seems like you were fully prepared to have these miracles until your boyfriend started whining.
2007-05-24 12:01:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is plenty of help out there for single parents so it can be done also it took 2 to get you that way so he needs to step up and be a man. I would go see a lawyer now about getting child support taken care of that way once the babies are born you have that financial support. If you can finacially I would hit garage sales now to buy your cribs, bassinets, hi-chairs, playpen, walkers etc. This will help a lot sure the stuff probably won't match but when you think of how much you will save it is worth. The decision though is ultimately up to you (i personally am against abortion if you and your bf didn't want kids you should have used protection) do what you feel is right but there is plenty of help out there just go to your local public aid office you can get wic, foodstamps, daycare help, cash assistance pretty much everything that you need.
2007-05-24 11:59:52 · answer #3 · answered by mdoud01 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep the babies. you think now how am i going to support 2 babies on my own. Well sure it may not be easy and at times you may feel burnt out but I beleive you can do it. My older sister who is a mother of four is now taking care of them by herself because her boyfreind (father of all four kids) ended up going to prison for abuse. She has no family where she lives either but she's doing it and she's also getting financial help from the state. Don't give up because in asshole boyfriend doesn't want to grow up because of babies on the way which he helped create. Good Luck and I hope you make the right decision.
2007-05-24 11:58:27 · answer #4 · answered by Ashley. 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Carry the babies to full term. You've got about 7 months to decide if you want to keep them. If you don't, then put them up for adoption. There are lots of loving people out there who want a baby but can't have one. After a few months of carrying the babies you might decide you want to keep them after all. As far as your boyfriend is concerned, tell him you are having the babies and if he doesn't want to be a father then he can hit the road.
2007-05-24 11:58:22 · answer #5 · answered by angela 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let me give you some good advice. i was 3 months i just got rid of mine May 8. 2007..And i wish i didnt but im longer than you. If he dont wanna take the responbilities that all him. If he can spread open you legs then he can deal with the fact that your gonna have his baby. Do what your heart is telling you.. Hes just be selfish cause you might want it but thats a living person in you. He dont want it cause hes not ready. Thats his fault and he has to deal with that. And i hope you do what your heart tells you and i hope you make the right decision because i wish i kept mine but im just to young. And girl im just being real with you.but if you want more advice hit me up ..
2007-05-24 12:09:41 · answer #6 · answered by <3RomanticChick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to bugger off. Even if you keep the kids yourself, get him to sign off his parental rights on them. Don't want him coming back later and wanting them in his life. It sounds like he's not man enough to take the consequences of his actions.
If you aren't able to care for the kids then you should consider adoption. They never asked to be concieved and they deserve a chance.
If you decide in haste now to terminate, that will be something you can never change and may come to regret it later.
Before you make any final decision you should go talk to a counselor or trusted minister.
Good luck
2007-05-24 11:58:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Precious babies are a gift from God please help them and grow with them they deserve to live and they are now even very much a baby so heres my story----I saw what happens when they do a abortion after years of tears
by experience i went through abortion 2x and i can tell you it stays with you the rest of your life i went through it the 1st time i just turned 5 months pg and the same reason you are going through but did that make him leave no he came back and wanted me to have his baby but i got away from him and then my 2nd time was my husband and I were going through a divorce and i thought the same thing I cant do this alone will I be a good mom how I can I give this child what he/she so deserves in this lifetime but let me tell you you do your best and you never know he/she may be a world leader come live with us ill help you lol take care and God bless please keep them
2007-05-24 12:07:12 · answer #8 · answered by DIANA 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont terminate your pregnancy please! There are two little lifes in your tummy. You CAN do it alone or definately consider adoption. Your bf is a loser and you shouldnt punish the unborn babies for it. Youll be fine! YOu seem like a strong girl. You were blessed with those 2 little babies for a reason!
2007-05-24 11:57:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
AHHHHHHH!!!!! NO, just let him go if he wants to... You are not only carrying one baby, but TWO! You are so blessed, don't let someone ruin that for you. Please don't terminate them, don't do that. There are so many agencies that will help you, especially with two babies at once. Make the right decision... Play the hand that you were dealt. It is a blessing to be able to have babies in the first place.
2007-05-24 11:53:38 · answer #10 · answered by ♫Mama of One♫ 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Don't get an abortion just because your sorry excuse for a boyfriend is an buttockall orifice. You can choose adoption if you are unable to raise your kids. But if you are able sue his a$$ for child support. Oh one more thing, drop him like a bad habit! Good luck!
http://www.bethany.org/
http://www.care-net.org/
http://www.abortionfacts.com/help/cpc_li...
http://www.cicpc.org/index.php
2007-05-24 12:15:23 · answer #11 · answered by padget2002 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋