If I tell my husband something is hurting my feelings, he acts like I am ridiculous and says "wow, your in a bad mood today or where did that come from out of the blue..." and walks away as if he is dismissing my feelings - that makes it worse.
Am I being a big baby to think that it is normal for him to respond like - "oh, i'm sorry, I didn't know that was hurting your feelings", or since he didn't realize, make me feel like it is important to him that I don't have hurt feelings?
2007-05-24 04:41:30 · 21 answers · asked by sugar 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is making light of your feelings...now that would hurt. Don't allow him to dismiss your feelings like that. Tell him, these are YOUR feelings, they are not imaginary, and you need help dealing with them. Tell him you expect him to support you more. Follow him around if you have to to get your point across. Make him acknowledge your hurt feelings because his obvious lack of concern is just adding to your hurt feelings. So he is piling hurt on top of hurt. If it goes on like this then the hurt you are feeling will just get on top of you, and one day you may just explode. Confront this problem before it totally consumes you. Make your husband listen.
2007-05-24 04:49:21 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your husband sounds like a really insensitive and arrogant cad who needs some social training on how to treat people (because I'm guessing that if he treats YOU that badly, he's even worse with people on the street). So he may need some serious sensitivity training.
You on the other hand should probably just try to develop a thicker skin for your own self-preservation.
It might help that the next time he says something shallow or hurtful, that you just snap back immediately with telling him to go to hell. When he feels the backlash of his actions, it might force him to take a step back and take a look at what he's doing. But be prepared for a few fights.
I think that you two might benefit from some counseling.
2007-05-24 04:53:06 · answer #2 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your husband sounds like an extremely insensitive and smug cad who needs some social guidance on the thank you to handle people (by way of fact i'm guessing that if he treats YOU that badly, he's even worse with people on the line). So he could choose some severe sensitivity guidance. You on the different hand ought to in all risk in basic terms attempt to enhance a thicker pores and skin to your own self-maintenance. it may help that the subsequent time he says something shallow or hurtful, which you in basic terms snap back at present day with telling him to flow to hell. while he feels the backlash of his strikes, it may stress him to take a step back and take a seem at what he's doing. yet be arranged for some fights. i think of which you 2 could earnings from some counseling.
2016-10-05 23:22:48 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i just had our 2nd child in 2 years and have been very tired and emotional on top of everything else. my husband has become frustrated with it, and he definitely acts like he doesn't care sometimes. it makes me cry and him just meaner. it really makes me sad that he is so insensitive but i don't know what to do. it just makes me feel he doesn't appreciate what i've gone thru mentally and physically. i've had and Breast fed these 2 kids, while taking care of my older one the whole time. i'm back in school but taking online classes so even when i study its rarely alone without distraction. i work full time but am on maternity leave right now so i do the bulk of the night time care. my older son (17 months) has hand, foot & mouth virus and will not eat, drink, or take his medicine. i haven't slept for more than 2 hours at a time for 6 weeks and didn't sleep well my whole pregnancy, so i've basically been out of it for a year or more!
you're not being a baby. do what i do, try to keep a stiff lip and tell him you need to see that he respects your feelings. this is HIS problem, not yours (or mine) stay strong and demand respect!
2007-05-24 04:52:31 · answer #4 · answered by itsme 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you are acting like a big baby. I have been married for all most 10 years and I know exactly where you are coming from. my feelings have been ignored lots of times. but after time and a lot of fights and arguments he has gotten to where he tries to understand and comfort me when my feelings are hurt. It has taken a lot of talking to each other and letting all of our feelings out. I am not a counselor, ( if you are in a stable marriage) when your husband hurts your feelings let him know right then. if he doesn't comfort you, then keep reminding him that he hurt you. Then the next time he wants something from you remind him that he hurt your feelings. after a while of this he should come around. good luck on the man problem, we all have them!!
2007-05-24 04:59:08 · answer #5 · answered by blondie 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Lots of men are not comfortable with emotions ( except mayb anger ). He may not REALLY want to hurt your feelings, but has no idea what else to do and doesnt even know how to be "softer". Sit him down, and tell him exactly how you feel when he does that. He will prolly do more of the same dismissive stuff out of habit but THEN tell him that you know its hard to deal with the emotions of women and tell him some simple things he can say to make you feel better when youre having a hard day ( maybe even right them down and put them on the fridge). good luck.
2007-05-24 04:51:31 · answer #6 · answered by undone 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you're not being a baby. a husband or wife should always be aware of their partners feelings. sometimes things get said or done accidentaly or b/c of the heat of the moment. that's human nature and we all make mistakes but, we also need to be big enough and compassionate enough to apologize and at least try to understand the other person. my husband is pretty good about it. if he see's that i'm hurting, wether he caused it or not, he apologizes or gives me a hug and kiss to let me know he is sorry.
2007-05-24 04:58:50 · answer #7 · answered by racer 51 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it, but that seems to just be how men are. I am with a great guy, but if I get upset about something I am always ridiculous or wrong. Men aren't empathetic. Even the ones you think are. They have trouble reversing the roles and putting themselves in our shoes. Women are more sensitive. Period. I just read a book about the women's brain, absolutely fascinating, from childhood women pick up on body language and facial expressions a lot more than men. Its just something to keep in mind, sometimes you will just have to spell it out for him. I keep wishing the same thing, that when I need a hug my bf will instinctively know and just give me one, but slowly I am learning it probably won't happen, unless its a catastrophic event and obvious that he needs to comfort me!
2007-05-24 04:47:30 · answer #8 · answered by Lost and Confused 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Girl I'm in the same boat! My husband acts the same exact way towards me. Unfortuntely that's just the way he is and I can't change that but it doesn't make me feel any better. And no you're not being a big baby at all. If your husband is anything like mine then telling him how that makes you feel won't work. You either accept him the way he is or you leave.
2007-05-24 04:46:19 · answer #9 · answered by #1 Lucy Fan 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are going to have to teach him how to communicate with you. You need to sit down with him when neither of you are upset, and have a calm discussion, where you explain to him that you feel your relationship can stand some improvement, and that you feel that he is not hearing you when you talk to him.
And when he dismisses your feelings and walks away, that is hurtful to you and what you need him to do instead is acknowledge what you said, and validate your feelings.
And you have to agree to not escalate these things into arguments. Walking away is an avoidance technique - he doesn't want to "get into it" with you at that moment.
2007-05-24 04:57:57 · answer #10 · answered by voxwoman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋