my boyfriend of half year, have made such a decision that we are going on dates for few times stop having sex with each other for few days before jump back to the old routine (four nights together), the reason he wants to do this is that we had lots of fights over the last few months, and we almost break up. but we still love each other, but he doesnt like me dont trust him sometimes, a bit obsessive, insecure,jealous?? i never thought i have these issues with guys..(excuse me the english sense of humour--if a guy tells you he loves you sometimes, how that helps you secure?) we got together pretty quickly. and having great sex. maybe due to the fights, we seems have less fun together apart from bedroom from his view... i feel his decision making me feeling emotional distanced... i dont understand why he makes such decision, he says he wants to find the old happy me and old happy him together, grow closer...but i feel this makes me sad and hurt..is it a good idea to do this?
2007-05-24 04:09:03 · 9 answers · asked by sabella 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think in a way your boyfriend might be right... I've actually suggested to my husband a couple times when we do argue a lot to spend some time together but not have sex for a couple days... I think that when 2 people are sexually involved there are a lot of emotions and maybe taking a little break in the sexual aspect will make you both get to know each other better and try to solve some issues that will not get resolved by just having sex... a relationship can't revolve around sex.. I don't know about you but when my hubby and I were dating, and we weren't sexually involved we didn't argue as much... after we started getting more serious somehow we had arguments for little things that maybe I wouldn't have taken into consideration before... we are more vulnerable when we are sexually involved with someone and are more prone to getting hurt... therefore I think you should definetely just go on dates with your man and do stuff that doesn't involve sex so often.. sex is very important in a relationship but maybe at this point in your relationship it is just getting too overwhelming for both of you with the whole arguing and the trust issues... once you have a solid relationship, and both learn to trust each other the sex will be amazing...
2007-05-24 04:20:34 · answer #1 · answered by always_latina1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if he is the only one happy with this decision. If you don't like the way things are going you either need to decide if you are going to put up with it and see if it does help things to change for the better or if you would rather break up entirely and find another relationship. Great sex DOES NOT make for a great relationship, there has to be a lot of other things which the couple enjoy doing together and for each other. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-05-24 11:14:19 · answer #2 · answered by tersey562 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're having trouble after just 6 months this is not good! Ask yourself why you don't trust him. Has he behaved in a way that's caused you to suspect cheating, or is it that you love him so much you're just scared of him hurting you? there has to be trust. If you think he may have cheated on you, but there's no way of knowing, then ask yourself if you knew for sure he had, would you continue the relationship? You have to sort out these trust issues, and work on your self esteem. This current situation sounds like you want a relationship, and he just wants sex (typical guy) cut him off! Have some self respect, be a little 'hard to get' this will either drive him carzy and bring him back to you, or you'll both go seperate ways, either way you won't be so confused, and wasting your time! Hope this helps. Get out there with some friends. You need some girl power ;))
2007-05-24 12:00:39 · answer #3 · answered by highmileage 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate to tell you this. A sex-based relationship for a guy only means free rides to satisfy his hormones. If he is young (early 20s), that's what he wants in his brain all the time if he has nothing else to do (such as going to college). To tell you "I love you" is a small thing to say to have free lunch because you can't hold him for it.
You are 95% emotional and less than 5% logical so you play right into his hands.
2007-05-24 11:25:47 · answer #4 · answered by Sir Richard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesnt neccesarily means he has found someone else. Maybe he is just trying to take away all the drama and let you try to work thru your issues to figure out if you are happy with him or if its a 'just sex' situation. I would suggest taking the break from him and seeking qualified help to get through your insecurities before trying to pursue ANY relationship. Good luck
2007-05-24 11:14:55 · answer #5 · answered by cat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't find happiness from someone else!!!!!!!! You both need to soul search and maybe ya'll have great sex but it takes more than that for a life long relationship...
~Angel~
2007-05-24 11:14:01 · answer #6 · answered by ~Angel~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay if you're in it for him - love him enough to give him the space he needs to find you again... its not a bad thing to go without sex for a while...
If you're in it for the sex.. well, then that proves his point and you should step away.
2007-05-24 11:22:46 · answer #7 · answered by Sugar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He made the decision because he already has someone else he wants to date to see if she's better than you. While you are on this "break" and dating others, if he likes her better, he will never come back to you.
2007-05-24 11:11:48 · answer #8 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i don't think so. Sounds like all you have in common is the "great sex" and as any other part of a relationship goes, you don't have one.....I would leave the relationship.
2007-05-24 11:14:00 · answer #9 · answered by Kelly773 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋