I love her, I do, but my longest-known friend is dating another guy that may take advantage of her beautiful, loyal, faithful kindness. I have witnessed the last 4 relationships and they seem to be getting worse. She has met the one next from the one prior and the circumstances around the next one just seem to be defeating her. She's a college grad, great career, bought first car and house, has a dog, a great life. She desperately wants to share it with someone but all of these icky guys are getting to her. She doesn't think that she's worth their effort to improve. I want to shake her!!!!!! She's beautiful and smart and funny and talented and outgoing and had let herself be morphed into this person that tries to "save" someone. She isn't just their significant, she's their caretaker. She tries to help get them on a path of encouragement and fortuitiveness and then lets them use her as she's trying to define love through this unhealthy path. If I wasn't a married woman...
2007-05-24 03:46:38 · 12 answers · asked by Alle Leigh 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Maybe, you should suggest to your friend that she needs to leave men alone until she can learn to love herself, first. She appears to have self esteem issues too. If you can't love yourself then how can you expect someone to love you like you deserve to be loved. It is not so bad being alone for some time. You don't have to leave one bad relationship just to get into another bad relationship. Does she realize that these men are using her? Maybe she should look for a different type of man. A man is established like her.
2007-05-25 20:01:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
regrettably there is not any longer something you're able to do, wanting telling her mothers and dads or telling the boyfriend (i'm particular he's not waiting to have a baby and would not prefer one). She is in an irrational ideas-set and theres no talking her out of it. i've got been in comparable circumstances and that i comprehend the helplessness you're feeling. At 17, various women prefer to get pregnant and picture it will be romantic and beautiful. the only ingredient you're able to do is to attempt to be sympathetic yet rational. Say issues like "i know how plenty you prefer this yet i'm apprehensive approximately you and your destiny." You and that i know she isn't waiting. a baby desires a reliable environment and a persevering with grant of money. i think of someplace I examine that a baby expenses approximately $10,000 interior the 1st 300 and sixty 5 days. i'd wager something she would not have that variety of money, nor will she be waiting again up with it with out help. And no person else could could help her egocentric determination. in case you have the middle to stand her wrath, it relatively is precisely what you may say. She is being egocentric and not questioning with reference to the impression a being pregnant could have on those round her. somebody will could help her until she's prepared to artwork around the clock to feed herself and her toddler. I doubt she is. the toddler might finally end up being paid for via taxpayer's money with the aid of medicaid and foodstamps. Her boyfriend who's clearly no longer mature sufficient to handle a courting, no longer to show a baby, would be caught paying baby help for 18 years. He may well be a bad boyfriend yet it relatively is thoroughly unfair. to no longer point out the toddler.
2016-12-18 03:17:26 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry i disagree with most of these people's answers!! I've been that person. Definitly regardless of what she decides be there for her if and when she falls. Encourage her to not just date one guy. Let her know theres plenty of guys in the city or the next. You can let her know you dont like him but don't nag her to make her not want to talk about him with you. Alot of us will have quite a few rotten apples before getting the ripe juicy one!!!
2007-05-24 03:55:50 · answer #3 · answered by mnmama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People learn by living their own life and making the own mistakes. You cannot get involve on her decision on dating the person she wants to date. Trust me, after a while she will get it, but the more you tell her that she is with the wrong person, the more she will want to be with them. There is nothing you can do in this case. Let her be, she will learn her lesson iventually.
2007-05-24 03:57:57 · answer #4 · answered by true love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cantell her your Opinion but thats all it is your thoughts. She will do whatever she wants no matter what anyone says and tell her it's what you see on the outside but you can't tell her what is best for her one day she will figure it out. If it takes getting burned a few times thats her decision not yours!!!
2007-05-24 03:59:20 · answer #5 · answered by zeethevampyre 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep trying to get through to her and be there for her when she falls....again! Try finding a guy to set her up with. Try and get her to go out with someone she wouldn't normally go out with. I know it's hard to see someone you care about put themselves through this over and over, she's lucky to have such a good friend!
2007-05-24 03:53:23 · answer #6 · answered by wish I were 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing you can do. It's like teaching pigs to sing. You can't do it and they just get mad at you. She won't listen. Just be at the ready with the Kleenex and a shoulder to cry on.
2007-05-24 03:54:03 · answer #7 · answered by WiseSage 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is not going to listen to you, anyway, and will do what she wants. It's easier for her to focus on helping others then it is for her to focus on herself or to be alone.
Love her as is.
2007-05-24 03:49:44 · answer #8 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sometimes it is hard or it is easy but you will have to tell or it would get worse.
2007-05-24 03:50:44 · answer #9 · answered by lilpooh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is a rescuer, that is her script, and she will probably run it her whole life. Yep, it makes you crazy!
2007-05-24 03:51:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋