My wife wants me to get a girlfreind?

Question

She has said this before but this time she is really serious. She feels that I don't realize what I am missing by being with someone else being that things are not so good for us in the bedroom at the moment. I don't want to do this, I love her. I even jokingly said the only way I can see myself with another woman would to be in the same bed with you. She said okay. Does this sound like something that could lead to trouble?

We have gone to marriage councling, We have talked about divorce, She is not cheating nor does she want to, She feels guilty.

Wow B K! That was a stupid answer.

Answer 1

Yes, and no. This could be what you and your wife need. It does actually work for some couples. Some pay a "regular" escort service for the same women each time. Others that dont have all the money and professionalism about it call it an open marriage. Open marriage means you love your wife and she loves you its just that you may need to bring in new partners to the relationship for "new ideas" for your love life. Either way, if you are both honestly open to the idea of an additional party; then it can be a powerful experience for your marriage. Good luck.

Answer 2

Do NOT get a girlfriend! Even though she is saying that, she doesn't mean it. I believe that she feels bad about the reason you guys have been having bedroom problems. Instead of getting a girlfriend you should try to work this out together. I'm not exactly sure what kind of problems you guys are having but maybe you should spend some romantic time alone and work on your bedroom issues. You seem like you love her so talk to her and tell her how you feel. I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 3

Whoa!!! First it sounds to me like she's having an affair, are you sure she's not? Also, let me get this straight, she said okay to bringing another woman in bed with her? Is that what you're saying? That's a tough call, what happens if you did and they decide to kick you out of the room? I don't know, it sounds like it could lead to more troubles for you. But then whats life without troubles. Ask her what she expects you and your new girl friend to do if you do get one and ask her what is it that your she wants to happen from this?. Better get some counseling on that one.

Answer 4

This will definitely cause trouble! I don't know what your wife is thinking but you shouldn't do it. If your sex life isn't very good then you do something between the two of you to spice it up. If you need a third party to help you with that then you have a rocky marriage. You may want to try counseling again. And why is she feeling guilty?

Answer 5

Uh, yes. Either she's already messing around or she's thinking about it. She may also be looking for a way out of the relationship.

Make an appointment with a marriage counselor & talk this out through counseling. There is more to this than you think.

Answer 6

Sure it could lead to trouble
But it could lead to another lifestyle to, make sure it's what you both want.
talking is the only way to be sure if she don't tell you the truth than your marriage will end anyway in a matter of time.

Answer 7

Your wife is testing you. The marriage is over if you get a g/f. Try more marriage counseling, it hasn't worked yet. It takes time and effort from both of you.

Answer 8

bad idea. dont do it. it will destroy your marriage.
Sexless Marriages
Are you or your partner just not "in the mood" for sex on a regular basis? Sexless marriages are an undeniable epidemic, says Dr. Phil. And since sex and intimacy are a meaningful part of a relationship, loss of sexual desire can severely affect a marriage.

Is the lack of sexual desire a biological problem, one that is lifestyle generated, or is it a symptom of a bigger problem?

Try to identify the causes in order to understand yourself and your partner, and keep in mind these factors that could be impacting either of you:


Biological changes (in both men and women)

Depression

Children

Lack of energy, fatigue

Sleep deprivation

Lack of respect or trust in a relationship

Jealousy, resentment

Loss of self-esteem

Your Troubled Sex Life
If sex is declining in your relationship, Dr. Phil offers the following advice.


Sex is not the foundation of a healthy relationship; it is a natural extension of a relationship in which giving and receiving mutual support and comfort are common. If you want a good sexual relationship, it needs to be embedded in a good overall relationship.


Sex involves vulnerability. It is an act that can flow freely only with mental, emotional and physical trust. If you are having sexual frustrations, examine the relationship at large. Are you creating an environment of giving, receiving, trust and relaxation?


Sex should not be forced. It should be just one more way of expressing mutuality, support and caring. It can then be the springboard for more thoughts and appreciative behaviors that will bridge into the next, seemingly spontaneous, sexual interaction.


It is illogical for you to ignore your partner in the morning, bark at him/her during the day, argue in the evening, and then fall into his/her arms for a fanciful sexual adventure at night. Insensitivity, inattention and hostility make sexual intimacy unnatural. If you want a rhythmic pattern of sexual intimacy, then create a relational pattern that reflects the same intimate emotions.


If everything with your partner seems to be flowing consistently, problems with sexual relations may persist for different reasons. There are times when one or both partners become distracted and allow sexual interaction to slide down the priority scale. These couples have allowed a number of competing activities and circumstances to rob them of this very special, intimate exchange. You must consciously commit to putting sex back in your life.


When everything else is in place in a relationship, the sexual interaction is still crucial. The intimacy that comes from sexual interaction takes the relationship to a completely different level.

Answer 9

Either way your goose is cooked. Keep it clean, drag her to a counselor and when you get to the bottom of it don't touch.. I've a feeling you're dealing with a rattlesnake disguised as bacon.

Answer 10

Wow. There are some serious issues here. Have you tried talking to her about why she feels this way? Don't do it. Try to talk it out with her. This could be big trouble.