We've been together for five years and most of them not happy one's. BTW, we're not married but have a child together. Recently, at work, I've met somebody that i really do like. He's also in a relationship with three kids. He want's for us to be together (he's seperated). I don't know what to do. I know that I'm not happy now with who i'm with.
2007-05-24 03:02:23 · 19 answers · asked by ajewell 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like you need to get your priorities in line. You might not want to leave one relationship to go into another. Stand on your own as an individual, that will help you to understand what you truly want in a relationship.
Becoming a strong independent woman, would be for your child's sake.
2007-05-24 03:08:28 · answer #1 · answered by Stefphe 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The big mistakes that we all do married or not is to stay in a relationship for the sake of our kids. I think that is wrong because the kid doesn't have anything to do with what's going on with the problem of a couple. If two people that don't love each other anymore and they stay for the sake of the kid, it will make it more worst because this kid can see and feel the intense of his/her parents. This are not a good role model for the kid,why not do the right thing, and I think you already know what you wanted.
But don't get attach to this man who's also having a problem,not because his separated,it doesn't mean that he have the rights to plan for both of your future, let him be legally divorce so that way no one will call you names because of his family,........be smart this time..
2007-05-24 03:20:25 · answer #2 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why invite someone who already has issues into your problems that you are dealing with. If your marriage is that bad, get a divorce before dragging your child and this other mans children into something that probably won't last. This guy is getting a divorce for a reason, regardless of who filed. This guy is probably telling you everything you want to hear so he can get some every now and again. He is separated, not divorced, so he still has ties to his wife. Who knows this man could be lying. Can never tell these days...avoid this guy until you work on the issues in your house. Try counseling first don't give up what you got and can fix for someone who you don't know who might have bigger problems.
2007-05-24 03:11:08 · answer #3 · answered by Lil_MissVal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO... don't stay just because of your kids. Here are my reasons... My mother tried to do that when I was a kid & my brothers & I knew, we could tell. Kids pick up on those things & know a lot more then they communicate. Now I'm grown & have three children of my own there was a point when I asked my self the same thing. But because of experience I knew that if I stayed they could tell I wasn't happy & in turn it would put more stress on them. So we split it's been 8 years & the girls are happy, both him & I have moved on & it's all worked out. As far as once a cheater always a cheater people CAN change BUT the trust is gone & that is the hardest thing to get back... If you love him and want to try to work things out go for it. BUT DON'T do it ONLY for the KIDS!!!
2016-05-21 11:17:57 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would be jumping from the frying pan into the fire.
If you are not happy, then leave your current relationship and spend some time getting over it and addressing the needs of your child before you get into another one. Then learn from your mistakes and make a better choice of a partner.
The man at work is off limits, he is a married man. Separated is not divorced, and please look at this situation with open eyes and get those blinders off. He hasn't even left his last wife and three kids and he wants to already be with a woman in another relationship? What kind of man is that? Do you really need a man who doesn't belong to you alone? And what kind of morals does he have that he would be fooling around with someone in a committed relationship(you haven't ended yours, married or not). Do you really need that kind of snake in the grass? Don't you want better for yourself and what kind of message does that send to your child?
Fix your current relationship or get out of it and don't look back at someone else's garbage.
2007-05-24 03:11:00 · answer #5 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not happy in the relationship then you need to get out becuase it will only affect the child if there is negativity always there. However if you do leave DO NOT jump into another relationship right away it will make you look like a ____, Be friends with the other guy and take your time. You need to follow your heart but you need to do it with smarts and just not rush into things. Think of your child first.
2007-05-24 03:08:28 · answer #6 · answered by superthunda 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're really flirting with disaster right now. There are too many things going on to deal with them all at once.
Let's take these things one at a time:
You're not happy with your current partner. Determine why this is, and precisely what you want to do about it. Then speak with a lawyer to determine your rights, your partner's rights (as the other parent) and your baby's rights.
If you determine that you would be better off on your own, then leave. But bear in mind that Partner - as the other parent - will have rights and parenting responsibilities too - so he will be a part of your life until Baby is at least 18 - and probably forever - like it or not.
Notice I haven't addressed NewGuy. No matter how much you desire this guy - cool it. There are reasons why workplace romances are usually discouraged. Besides, all you'll be getting from him is a man who cheats on his partner. Of course, all he'll get from you is a woman who cheats on her partner.
Bottom line - take one situation at a time. Yes, you can have it all - just not all at once.
2007-05-24 03:19:06 · answer #7 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all what you need to do is establish paternity with your current boy-friend. You need solid proof that he is the father of your child. Then you need to see an attorney (go to legal aid if you can not afford one) and start getting all your ducks in a row so that you have custody of this child and so that this man will be financially responsible for the child. You will need to set up child support and visitation.
I do not recommend jumping into a relationship with this second guy for two reasons:
1. Never get involved with someone from work. Once the relationship sours, someone loses their job. Period.
2. Take some time off from men to pull yourself together for the sake of your child. Learn to stand on your own two feet and your child will grow up seeing what a strong, independent woman you are.
Good luck to you.
2007-05-24 03:18:42 · answer #8 · answered by Marianimal 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't believe in staying in a relationship because of children - they are very sensitive and it is much more damaging for them to be exposed to a loveless relationship. Having said that, I don't think you should leave one relationship and jump straight into another one, particularly with three other children being in the mix. That would make your child even more confused. Have some counselling to make your decision. If your relationship is not worth saving, then leave it - but don't jump into antoher one. Tell your friend that you need some time alone first - and stay friends. If he cares for you, he will wait.
2007-05-24 03:08:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you both are in relationships already? You must like drama. You arent married, have one kid, the new man has 3, he is in a relationship. I only see bad things to come from starting a new relationship together. If you are not happy with your man leave him and live alone and date someone else who is single without so many damn kids!
2007-05-24 03:11:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋