which according to u is..........?

Question

the sickest joke uve ever heard

Answer 1

trust me i dont think u wana know

Answer 2

two prisoners escaped from a jail in the dessert and have been walking and walking for days without food or water...

in the distance they see a crashed Italian airplane, suddenly they pick up their strength to go and see if there is any food or water there, but they only found the pilot dead, no food or no water...

so they decide to cut his belly and see what he ate and that's their last chance for food. so they've cut his belly, and see the dead pilot had eaten cheese pasta. while one of the men was saying a prayer to God that he saved them from dying without food, the other man quickly scoops all the stomach contain of the dead and eats it all without giving to his friend.
"The second guy was disappointed, but he told his mate:
Did you see the hair in the pasta? I thought this was disgusting..."
The first guy gets sick and trows up the pasta in his hands, then the second guy says:

"Thank you for warming up my meal"...and eats it all quickly
~~~

Is that sick enough?

Answer 3

the one where the guy offers the tramp £10 if he drinks the contents of a spit bucket and the tramp starts drinking it. After a few seconds the guy says enough, but the tramp keeps drinking till it's all gone.

The guy says why didn't you stop when I said you could and the tramp replies

"I couldn't - it all came out in one big lump"

Answer 4

Can't remember off hand but got this one today......

A son asks his dad the difference between " theoretically " and " realistically ". Dad says that's hard, but I have an idea. Ask mum if she would sleep with the milkman for 1 million quid. Mum says yes. Dad says now ask you're sister if she'll sleep with the coal man for 2 million quid. Sister says yes.....Well there you go son, that's you're answer,theoretically we're sitting on 3 million quid, but realistically we're living with 2 slags.!

Funny or not.?

Answer 5

its not at all funny and i aint going to say the full joke but there were loads going around about the cockle pickers on morcombe beach !! and micheal jackson getting off with kiddy fiddling was rather a sick joke aswell !

Answer 6

a guy tells his friend he found a woman on the railroad tracks so he takes her home. he wraps her up in a blanket near the fire to keep her warm, he comforts her and to cut along story short has sex with her.
his friend asks what did she look like, the man replied he doesn't know he only found the body.

Answer 7

Man walks into the maternity ward and says to the nurse i`ve come to see my new baby" and goes to the 1st cot and says "is this my baby" and the nurse say "no sir, i`m afraid it`s not quite perfect". So they go to the next cot and in the cot is a baby with no arms and legs, the man says "is this my baby" and the nurse says "no sir i`m afraid yours is worse than that", so he goes to the next cot and there is a baby with just a head, worried he asked "is this my baby" and the nurse says "no i`m sorry, yours is worse than this", so they go to the last cot and in it is a beautiful 8lb eye, the man says "is this my baby" and the nurse says "Yes", "thank goodness" says the man it couldn`t have got worse than that could it, the nurse says " well actually sir, it`s blind"....

Answer 8

bloke rings his mate from mortuary to tell him of a naked woman on the slab with a prawn sticking out of her f*nny, his mate rushes over for a look and says its not a prawn its a clitoris, oh says he it taste like a prawn.


sorry you asked and yes i know worse but i dont like to offend

Answer 9

Something about old women and pork pies. It's too repugnant to even consider putting on here.

Answer 10

Oh gosh, don't ask me. I still feel like barfing everytime I think of it.

Answer 11

There have been so many sickies on here I couldn't pick one.