hi...i'm a 23 yr old woman married for 2 yrs. my husband wants me to masturbate in front of him when we make love. he says it really turns him on. but i never really could muster up what was needed to do it. i'd love to please him but my inhibitions don't let me...he said we can find loads of other ways to please ourselves and never pushes me into it. but i want to do this...it's not something i scorn upon or find dirty...just that i'm a bit shy to do it in front of him. how do i go about it? how do i lose my inhibitions for doing it? please help me.
2007-05-24 00:31:20 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I was the same way.I got a s*x toy and used it,while keeping my eyes closed.It was awesome.Try it ,you'll be glad he suggested it.
2007-05-24 00:36:55 · answer #1 · answered by gerdie65 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well applaude yourself for being able to see the difference between it being an issue of your own inhibitions versus an issue of something you genuinely don't want to do. In a stable trusting relationship, it's perfectly healthy to be silly and try new things every now and then.
The best thing you can do is get comfortable with yourself. First you might try practicing a little bit in private in front of a mirror so that you can see that hey, that is hot and give yourself some pep-talk to see why it is that your husband would find that to be a turn on.
When you feel ready, spend the day siking yourself up for it. Take a bath, shave your legs, put on perfume or whatever you do that makes you feel sexy... and listen to music and just picture everything so that you get comfortable with it in your own mind.
Remember that confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have and if you want to do this, then you can and will and will be totally hot. Good luck and have fun!
2007-05-24 07:38:34 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs Brush 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Masturbation is PRIVATE and your hesitation is TOTALLY NORMAL. Its extremely difficult to "put in a show" whilst doing something you prefer to do privately.
If you WANT to.... as a starting point... it may help to drink a glass of wine or two... or your favorite cocktail because alchohol is proven to help remove inhibitions.
Perhaps.... Ask him to leave the room but leave the door slightly open. If you are uncomfortable and don't want to "put on a show" or a "staged production" for him, try and get started on your own and LET HIM FIND you doing it "by accident" so that you are unaware..... and not to let you know he is watching. Then it will be infinitely easier for you to let go and "act natural"... not knowing if he's there or not.
This may make it MUCH easier than having him say "OK GO!" .
Close your eyes if you know he is there.... or have him blindfold you. And have him put on some music (maybe a little too loud) so that you dont have to feel self conscious about your own reactions to yourself.
Or you could even slowly START by enjoying foreplay with each other and let him get you started.... while he slowly backs off and leaves you on your own. Even just before you would normally climax during sex, he could withdraw and watch you make yourself.
Also... women are generally more ready to go again AFTER sex when your inhibitions are practically GONE anyway. If he likes to nap after sex.... you could get more comfortable with the idea by masturbating with him asleep next to you. Tell him the next day..... "I finished myself off next to you and you slept right throught it!! " He will be shocked . "You snooze you lose".
In any case.. start SLOWLY and small for a short period of time..... and dont worry about feeling funny, or even laughing about it. Its all supposed to be playful. Theres is alot to be said about actually being embarassed TOGETHER.
2007-05-28 06:35:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 37 and have been with my husband since I was 16 and i know the feeling of inhibitions in the begining of your relationship. Trust me once you open up and let go in the bedroom you will be surprised how enjoyable you sex life will be. I think it is awesome that he is patient about this and that you really want to do this. I think you will be surprised how turned on you will be when you realize how much he enjoys it.
2007-05-24 09:54:00 · answer #4 · answered by TTG 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well do you masturbate alone? I think if you masturbate alone, and get rid of that taboo feeling you have about masturbation you'll feel differently about it. I'm sure you think you'll look dumb or something like that, but you're husband doesn't care what you look like, and you probably won't look dumb doing it either. He'll be so happy that you're doing it, nothing else will matter lol. Maybe buy a sex toy and use that and let him watch will make you feel better. I say just do it, at first you'll feel shy, but after a while you'll get used to it, and your sex life will be a lot better. Good luck =]
2007-05-24 07:37:35 · answer #5 · answered by holliexoxo88 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have been there trust me. here's a Little trick the next time that you are making love casually reach down. he will know what you are doing and if he understands your dilemma he wont say a whole lot plus once you are comfortable you can then try going solo maybe during kissing work into it slowly. most the time that a guy wants to watch is that in the back of their minds they are thinking okay this is how she likes that (kind of taking lessons)you could also try starting without him and when he walks in it might startle you but after you see how much he likes it the shyness will ease.
2007-05-24 09:28:10 · answer #6 · answered by Idonotknowyou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl be open minded and do what your man ask..I mean he is not asking for much and your married to him.. I suggest you take a glass of wine or two get tipsy and give your man the show of his life.. Do you know of how many times I read of women here complaining of their hubbies watching porno all the time?? think about it.. is not a big deal is the man you love.. and really is not as bad or dirty as you think.. relax and do it for him.. you can practice in the mirror when he is at work and then do it for him.. Good luck.
2007-05-24 08:02:07 · answer #7 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could start off slowly, by rubbing yourself under the covers while you talk dirty to him. It might be easier at first if you are not exposed. You can also think about usuing your hands on various parts of your body while he is working on others. You don't have to dive right in, you can take it a little step at a time until you get more comfortable.
2007-05-24 07:37:40 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a man I cannot tell you a direct answer. But, as I have been asked a similar question in respect to what your husband asked of you by a former spouse I can tell you that marriage is all about conversation and compromise. So first thoughts in my mind are ...do you have any fantasies that you have been wanting fulfilled that you have not previously be let known to your husband? If so maybe a trade-off is in session....good luck to you newlyweds.
2007-05-24 07:38:17 · answer #9 · answered by nemesis_breakz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is your husband for goodness sakes. He has seen you naked many times. He loves you. Don't be so shy. Maybe you could start by having a glass of wine to loosen up, then take a nice shower with him. Let it happen right there in the shower!!
2007-05-24 07:37:29 · answer #10 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well gf, it's easy...put it in your mind that this is what he wants you to do....but also tell him, to do you a favor, since it is hard for you to start masturbating, tell him..put some soft music on for you and give you a sensual massage to get you started, after that, well if you are still shy about doing it like that, then just ask him to leave the room momentarily just so you can get started, when you get into it, having him to surprise you in his own way, and then etc... email me or hit me on the yahoo messenger for more ideas okay! good luck!
2007-05-24 08:42:40 · answer #11 · answered by babytfromla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋