hi my sis is pregnant. shes 15. shes gettin an abortion. we are very close. im so scared for her so i have no idea how she must be feeling. i have no idea what having an abortion is like. i want to be there for her but i just dont know how. i dont know what to say to her that might just make her feel a bit better. i want to be strong for her because if she saw me so upset she would find it harder. she regrets it and i just want to help her. i was just wondering if anyone knew what this was like and if anyone had any ideas of what i could say to her and do just to make her less scared. please don't critisise her shes so young and not as strong as she acts to be. please i just want help to help her so if anyone has any ideas please tell me. its breaking my heart to see her like this and i want to help so please....thank you.
2007-05-23 23:56:36 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I've been there
i was 15 when i had an abortion
after the opp. it felt like a massive period pain
that's the physical side of what she will feel
emotionally maybe play it by ear
she may wanna talk to you or shut you out i did to my sister i shut her out totally
but being here means more
when i came out of the hell i put my self through by shutting my sister out she was still there for me and believe me i still after all that time back am grateful and we still have a hug
don't force her to talk just wait she will open up to you in the end and you will know that really you were helping her all the time even if she uses you as a bashing post to shout at stay calm and when she takes her time to sit back and think she will be grateful it was you she gave hell because you love her and she loves you
make sure you keep your self strong for her
2007-05-24 00:15:45 · answer #1 · answered by areyurflowersinbloom 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
im going to be completely honest when i say this....... but your sister made the choice to have sex so therefore she has to live with it weather having it aborted or keeping it. if you are very close then sit down and talk about all the options your sister has, she may not realise that there are so many options open to her. does she realise that you are there to help her if she keeps the baby. I think some people can rush into a decision like this not thinking fully of the consequences later on in life. What if later on she wants children and cant cause of the abortion. (which can happen)
Just be there for her and enlighten her of the choices she has. Maybe she will now realise that the choices she makes in life can have a huge affect on her life.
2007-05-29 04:16:59 · answer #2 · answered by elainef84 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi I don think you have to worry too much about your lil sister, as I think that she has shown maturiy, by deciding to terminate ( I feel she has made the hardest decsion) Also many young girls dont take actions and just sit and pray the problem will go away... I see too many young girls around me that just cant cope with a child, and its not fair on their child. Just let her know that your or there fore her, it maybe worth looking into the type of procedure she is having so you have an idea of what she has gone through. there is two procedures one is a tablet which induces a miscarrage( which can be accompanyied by heavy bleeding, vomiting and pain) and there is the vacum aspiration which is done under a general or local anasetic.
Take no notice of people who are suggesting that your sister is being premiscous etc, as none of that is important at the moment. However, it maybe worth taking her to a local family planning centre like t brook to find some suitable contraception, in my experience it is the quite young girls who are often the unlucky ones and the girls who are street wise and have been sexually active for a while have the courage to go and access contraception etc.
hope this helps!!
2007-05-24 00:35:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
hi,its not easy having any kind of abortion i know iv had 1, had mine at 5wks pregnant that was 3yrs ago and i still get upset now, i had my 1st child when i was 17, then had my 2nd 1 at 20, so i was already a mammy when i had my abortion may be thats why its been hard for me, but am still with the same guy and really happy we are now buying our 3rd brand new home, what am saying is if ur sis could may be keep her pregnancy it would not be as bad as she thinks we did not have much money in the beginning but you can work it out cause abortion is not the easyway out like i said i still think about mine but if its the only way all you can do is be there for her cause its a sad scary time 4 any femail of any age
2007-05-29 04:33:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only thing u can do is just be there for her .I've been in the same position but was older and wasnt easy ,my partner was with me every step of the way all my appointments and the hospital stay .Its extremely difficult to go thro , ofcourse on here u will get all the anti abortion folk .But i would say dont judge untill u have been in that position .Ok she made a mistake but beleive me its not an easy way out .If u have any questions just drop me an email , im not a doctor but have been through it so can offer some helpful advice
good luck to ur sister and you .It'll be a tough time but having someone there will help
xxx
2007-05-25 06:36:00 · answer #5 · answered by miss_ninety_ukuk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best support you can give her is to be there for her and not to judge, it happens to alot of people. It will be a highly emotional time for her and she will need someone strong by her side. My wife`s daughter went through this at that age and has come through it very well with her support. Let her talk about her feelings as she will need to do this but it may take a little time. Help her understand there should be no stigma attached to this and not listen to anybody that would condem her.The hospital will have someone who will talk to her to. If you can be with her through the day it is important for her not to be on her own.
You sound like a good sister , be strong for her and i wish you both all the best.
2007-05-24 00:09:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please do not listen to the anti-abortion 'crusaders' on here. You have come on here asking for help and adive, and they simply take it as an opportunity to bleat their narrow-minded opinions.
You don't mention your age in the question, but I assume you are older than your sister. I think the most important thing is to give your sister as much time and space as she needs. Patience is a virtue at this time. She may feel she wants to talk about things, she may feel she wants to shut everyone out. No-one knows how she will feel until it happens.
She will also have hormones flying round her body that she will have to deal with. You mention shes not as 'storng as she acts to be'. I think this may be that the reality and enormity of the situation hasn't sunk in. Its a massive decision.
Just please be patient and carry on supporting her in every way you have been. What a great sister. All the best for both of you x
2007-05-28 04:55:23 · answer #7 · answered by lil_funky_chicken2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At fifteen she's too young to make a decision like having an abortion, she probably doesn't see it as a big deal now because she's only young but in years to come she may regret it... A friend of mine had an abortion at 16 without giving it much thought, she's now 22 and cries herself to sleep every night, completely consumed in the guilt of what she did... As she says herself, she was just a child, she didn't realise the enormity of the situation.
I'm not telling you to tell your sister not to have an abortion, but please make sure she knows she has other options. Adoption is one of the most amazing things a person can do, thousands of couples in the world are desperate for babies but can't have them.
This is not an anti-abortion posting, I'm not sitting on a high horse and judging, if having an abortion is what she really wants to do then that's her choice, but just make sure she realises what a huge thing it is before she goes through with it.
2007-05-24 00:51:44 · answer #8 · answered by Ally 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Continue to love and support her as you've been doing. This is difficult and scary for her. She's realized she's not invincible (amazing..in your teens you think you are)
I've not been there so I don't know.
There may be fears, guilt or other things she's not ready to say yet to you so be prepared to just listen in the future.
Both of you should sit down with your health care provider (schedule appt and go in and talk;not immediately prior to procedure) and ask questions, say your concerns and when this is done seek counseling.
1.She needs to discuss ramifications of unprotected sex (aids or other life long diseases)
2. Understand she is precious as is her body and needs to treat it as such. Love yourself
3. Be able to forgive yourself. She and her partner were careless and she made a decision and must come to terms with it. What's done is done and to move forward and learn, you must forgive yourself.
I hope you both will be okay in the future. Your a great sister for caring, worrying and loving about your sister.
2007-05-24 00:14:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh, hun, i really dont know what to say.What a time you are both going through.Your sister really needs to talk to someone before she goes through this as its not an easy thing to deal with.Wherever she is having it done she should be offered some kind of councilling and she really needs to take it.Hopefully someone on here can suggest a website that may be able to help.Good luck and god bless you both and well done for being such a great sister x
2007-05-24 00:05:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋