I am American and I am engaged to an Indian. He lives in India and has been denied visas to come here so far. So, I have decided to try to go there next year. Everything has been great between us so far, but in my last visit, I found some things to be very hard....cultural differences...and I am also realizing he doesn't understand me as much as I thought he did (language barrier)...so it's causing some problems. I want to try to work them out. I can read and write Hindi and I'm going to take a grammar class starting September. I could REALLY REALLY use some other input - some advice from other Americans married to Indians or some Indian ladies who can help me understand the men there a bit more...some support group...some tips on cross-cultural marriage (any good books?) - anything would be helpful. I believe he's getting a little tired of how hard it is for him to understand English and I really want to meet him half way - any thoughts?? :) Thanks!!
2007-05-23 21:19:51 · 12 answers · asked by Jazmin 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all, I would like to mention that I am Indian...To live in India as an Indian is very easy, but as an ameriacn can really be tough, Population is more & hence one has to earn his living hard...You will found strong family values & culture & will be able to enjoy the life if you are prepared to adopt the culture....I would also caution you to please verify the details of the person/his family/address/job/previous background/district etc.
If he belongs to metro Cities then you will find good facilities....Being a english speaking person is not going to effect much because in metro cities more than 70% people know english, you will be able to learn hindi later.. You also please think the your skill experience & the job opportunities available for you here.. since Information & technology sector & BPO sector Jobs are continiously increasing you will not find much difficulty in it...
2007-05-23 23:42:55 · answer #1 · answered by abhi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not get married until you both have an understanding that you are not Indian and that you both have to come halfway when it comes to cultures.
Do not marry a man who expects you to become the "Indian wife" and doesn't accept the American woman you are.
There is nothing wrong with learning another culture but you should not have to throw yours away.
I really think you need to wait longer. Wait until you both can communicate much better and try to visit the country another time before deciding to marry.
You say you want to meet him halfway, but are you sure he wants to do the same for you?
the Indian culture is VERY different from American culture so you need to make sure he understands this and knows that he will have to make some compromises, and not just you doing all of it.
2007-05-24 08:04:31 · answer #2 · answered by Twizzle 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Make sure he does some work on learning english himself, you can't do it all by yourself you know! I suggest reading up on travel guides about their culture, they have a lot of tips on "does" and "don'ts" and a lot more information with experiences from other people, don't know any myself.
I'd suggest staying there until he gets his VISA and then come back to the US.
I wish you best of luck and hope that you find some people who can help you to have a better insight of the male indian mind (which I'm pretty sure is no different than any other male mind... ;) )!
2007-05-24 04:35:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey,
Ok u r saying this guy cannt even speak english.......
He has been denied VISA......
And he is also showing signs of furstration......
It no sweetheart..... No to the whole thing. If u told me this guy is settled in USA... or has a good pay or anyother reason anybody would say go ahead.
But many Indian men do this for permenant residence permits. Its good u went over and saw ur differences. Dont go ahead with this marriage. Its nothing but a permenant residence settlement for him with just a " I DO".
But if u still think its true love..... tell him after marriage u want to live in India and see if he agrees for that? Iam sure he will give u hell a lot of reasons.... to not settle in India.
Majority of Indians are well educated and can speak good english.... so how is this guy not able to cope with ur's? Also if he is not from any major cities in India... trust me he might not be a open minded person. He might expect a lot from his woman than from a house maid.... if he is too much an orthodox.
2007-05-24 04:45:39 · answer #4 · answered by DU 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
You will be marrying into a culture that considers women second class citizens. His main motivation may be a green card. Are you a Christian? Is he a Christian? He may be well-educated, financially secure, I certainly hope so, but I have heard so many stories of American women marrying Middle eastern and Indian men and watching them turn into tyrants after the marriage that I would be extremely cautious in this relationship. How much time have you been able to spend together? If he wants to come to America to live, how well will he fit in? Was he educated here? Please be very, very, careful
2007-05-24 04:31:24 · answer #5 · answered by drvndrm2 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Its ok, fine, understand Indian culture & language from Indian ladies or ladies married to Indians, but note few important legal points I'm going to give you here as these very points will make your marriage with this Indian man legal & valid otherwise like few of the Americans ladies who married the Indian guys are now struggling to either get immigration visa for these men or getting their marriage declared valid as whatever went with them in India while getting married to these men was not a legal marriage. Firstly you are a Christian lady so when you marry any Indian man who is not a Christian then either get converted to his religion & then only marry according to his religion form. Secondly it is best advised to marry any non Christian man according to the Special Marriage Act, 1954 the only matrimonial law that allows inter-religious marriage in India. Thirdly always carry your decree of divorce or death certificate of you deceased husband with you if you are a divorcee or a widow., the copy of these will be required at the time of the marriage registration. Fourthly, if you change your religion to Hinduism or any other religion carry a conversion certificate of this with you as it will be required by you if you marry with the man according to his religion form & get that marriage registered which you will have to do without which he will not get visa for your country. Lastly if by chance you are coming to Delhi for this marriage contact me for all these legal formalities including marriage & its registration, I told you, I will help you out for them. What ever I told you here are very important legal issues, you can check my profile, see the questions I have posted regarding this issue concerning your country & its immigration department & also see my answers I have replied where marriage between American Christian & Indian Hindu was solemnized without following proper rules & regulations.
2007-05-24 05:46:30 · answer #6 · answered by vijay m Indian Lawyer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you read the book Not without my daughter? She married some foreigner and as soon as they got to his homeland he held her and the daughter hostage. Another friend of mine married an Indian and they moved to his homeland and we have yet to hear from her and that was 9 years ago!!! Don't do it! He will probably beat you and hold you hostage.
2007-05-24 08:34:12 · answer #7 · answered by anonymous 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Is there any communication between you two. Do you understand each other well. Is it just s-e-x on which this relationship is progressing. What is your future. Does he like you for your status?
2007-05-24 04:43:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep in mind, for better or worse, for rich or poor, until death due you two apart. Both of you have to have the communication lines open at all times.
2007-05-24 05:01:36 · answer #9 · answered by lostfperson 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
love for the man u find all compromises r effortless go a head
2007-05-24 07:22:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋