sicko question....?

Question

say a boy i know is 16 and he is being molested by his dad since 8 or 9 ... are the odds against him of being str8 vs. bi longterm?

and if so how would he get rid of the bi feelings if he wanted to... can they be deprogrammed from his brain somehow?

please dont tell me to call the police or tell my mom.. that is not the question.

plz dont be mean to me and call me names... you dont know the whole story. plz just answer the question.

anynomou that posted that extremely mean message... i will pray for you.. you hurt me but i forgive you.

Answer 1

Yes there is a chance that this will cause him to have same gender sexual attractions now and/or in the future. This is a very formative period in a child's development.

There are numerous cases of people who have had same gender sexual attraction, lose these urges and feelings with therapy by a good Christian counselor.

I know that you don't want to hear it but the father needs to be reported to the police. I can understand the conflicts of a boy not wanting his father to go to jail but you have to look at the issue of; is he or will he do this to someone else?

The other thing is that the father will probably never go to treatment for his problems unless forced to by the court. It is not necessarily the case that the father will go to prison. It is possible that he will get probation and court ordered treatment.

The best thing for the boy is to be separated from his father at this time. As long as they both are in the same house, the boy will not only be a victim but will also feel like a victim.

I respect Dr. James Dobson's Focus on the Family very much and think that they could be very helpful.

Answer 2

Well i'd have to say the parents in this situation are very unethical...and the father is just plain sick....he needs help..only the law can give him...if its been going on that long there will definably be some deep issues within yourself that will go unresolved...its psych trauma...if you get him to stop..by any means necessary...that is the only way you can then get help you need to try to unbound the brain from what has happened to you physically, mentally, emotionally and then only then can you see if your life drastically changes for the better...but if you continue to want to hide this and let this go on..YOU are only hurting yourself...This is wrong hun..A crime and he knows better....you need to tell someone...someone you can trust...Find a job some job you can make decent money at 16...and then go and get emancipated...that way you don't have to live with it anymore...otherwise say something to someone who you are close to it needs to get out in the open...you don't want it to happen to some one else besides you....because when your gone he will still have that urge to do it...and will have no one..so he will find someone to fix the urge..what then? I know its hard because hes family but that doesn't make it right...ask yourself what to do? What would you tell a friend in the same situation..? Not to tell and let it happen or make it stop once and for all...? Think about it...you know what choice it right...

*Shannyne*

Answer 3

Justin being molested does not in anyway make you bi or gay. Your a victim and the best advice is to get help because the rate of repeat is so high. If you fail to get help then there is a chance you could become a molester because it's a learned behavior. Through therapy you can learn that you were a victim and how to deal with your anger, and fear in your teens and grow into a healthy and well adjusted young man. God Bless, please tell someone you trust.

Answer 4

Wow, that's a horrible situation. Getting molested by a parent is something no person should have to live with. It's apt to have a lot of bad impacts; bisexuality would be the least worrisome part. What he needs to do is call the police or tell his mom.

Answer 5

You should talk to someone you feel safe with about the abuse, it is illegal, immoral, and should be reported. It definitely hurts the person being abused and your friend will have to go through a lot of years of trying to find himself when he gets out on his own.

I'm not sure if there is a way to get rid of unwanted bisexual feelings. If your friend is having them, he most likely will continue to throughout his life. Contrary to popular belief, it's not uncommon to be bi-curious. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your friend if he is bi-curious or bisexual and no one could really know if the abuse is what brought these feelings on or if it is just him being human.

The sooner your friend talks to someone who can help him the better. It doesn't matter if he feels these ways about people his own age, but his father shouldn't be doing this to him. His father needs help too, because most likely if he's doing it to him he's doing it to other kids and once your friend is out of the home he will do it to more kids. I'm sure your friend would never want anyone to have to go through what he's gone through, that's why it needs to be turned in.

Good luck sweetie!

Answer 6

I don't believe that anyone can be "turned" gay. They might have a traumatic experience in their life (ex, a girl has been molested by a man) and she might have trouble trusting guys, and might wish she was a lesbian, but I don't think that it could "turn" her gay. It's something you're born with, something in your genes that's preplanned for you.

Also, if a boy has been molested by his dad, wouldn't he be turned OFF by men?? (But if he's gay, I still don't believe that being molested would "turn" him straight)

If someone is homosexual, bisexual, etc, it cannot be "deprogrammed" from his brain. It's a part of him that he needs to learn to accept.

Answer 7

Well, there is no way to change how someone feels. Getting him out of that situation would be your best bet and that could make a difference. Someone really should be notifyed. If you put a question up like this then people get concerned. These things are NOT something that should be kept quiet. If you care about your friends, anonymously call the police station and notify them of the problem.

Answer 8

Dont listen to those mean and dumb ppl... The boyy cant change unless he likes girls... He is most likely bi..but he can also be straight this is a tough question...There is no way you can deprogram his brain.. Try to see if he likes girls or guys that will most likely give you an answer

Answer 9

Counseling may help him deal with his confusion but it will only help if he is able to get out of the situation and find a safe loving environment to be in. I know you say telling someone is not an option but is there any other person this child could trust or are they mature enough to move out and seek emancipation from the father or parents?

Answer 10

what i am going to tell u very few ppl know. first of all let me start by sayin i am 15 and i was raped by my father at age 11... i got so confused. i really didnt understand...

i in turn raped my younger bro 9 at the time... he told my mom.. and i was arrested and went to a treatment facility for youth sex offenders...

there i told on my dad... later i found out he also had been messing with my younger bro... he went to jail... he wrote me and told me that he had been raped by his dad when he was little...

i have graduated the "program" sucessfully...

i have said all that to say this.... it is a cycle... it needs to end.

both boys you made referance to need to be seen and counseled...and hard as it may be the dad needs to be stopped!

noone in your hood or school would ever even know... plz think about making the step to break the cycle and if u need to talk send me a note.

p.s. btw i am bi too .. i am christain so i feel guilty because of it... i think God understands... i wasnt by choice